Are we being mean ?

coolcait

Homeownertobe wrote: »

So now there's MORE 'new' information that puts the brother-in-law in a worse light. I'm shocked.

Talk about the thread that has everything - right down to the Greek chorus!

duchy

Mrs_Optimist wrote: »

Close family members are staying both nights - BUT the cost will be half to them as it is for us as we are paying for two teenagers as well as ourselves. They are also all working adults. I suspect had the cost been the same for the other family members, they also would have also been reluctant. Again we have discusses this with them and they understand our view.


.

I'm a bit lost - It was your choice to have children - whether the rest of your family have children or not isn't really relevant surely ?

I don't expect people to subsidize me if I want my child to attend a family function.

(That said if they are paying they are as entitled to a bed as anyone else)

DianneB

Why would you even consider paying for a hotel room when you live 14 miles away? Nuts!

Mrs_Optimist

I don't expect anyone to subsidise our children - I am just making the point that the cost to us is double that of other people which is a huge factor to consider when deciding whether to stay both nights (or at all).

And to the relentless poster who appears to enjoy being a conspiracy theorist - & a rubbish one at that - do you actually have anything helpful to post ? It would appear not as all you have done is have digs at me, my family, my relationship with my in-laws - which again detracts from my op.

If you don't have anything helpful or god forbid, even interesting to say, please bore off !

To the other posters, whether you agree with us or not, it had been helpful to hear differing opinions.

Kaye1

Mrs_Optimist wrote: »

And to the relentless poster who appears to enjoy being a conspiracy theorist - & a rubbish one at that - do you actually have anything helpful to post ? It would appear not as all you have done is have digs at me, my family, my relationship with my in-laws - which again detracts from my op.

If you don't have anything helpful or god forbid, even interesting to say, please bore off !

Totally agree!

Kaye1

OP I was happy to offer my experience and not spend my time trawling through your other posts trying to 'catch you out.'


It's the one thing that drives me bonkers about this very helpful forum. Some people appoint themselves 'forum police,' and sometimes people get accused of trolling when I don't think they are.


Put a post up but do expect some people to appoint themselves judge and jury. However, I have had some really helpful advice from the majority of the posters in the past.

missbiggles1

balletshoes wrote: »

again i think its tradition - i've never seen anything wrong with being invited to a wedding as an evening guest, its the party bit to celebrate your friend getting married.

Sorry, which bit is tradition?

I'd be a bit insulted not to be invited propely to the wedding; it smacks of somebody not liking you enough to really want you there but wanting to get a present from you. Fortunately I've never been put in that position.

balletshoes

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Sorry, which bit is tradition?

I'd be a bit insulted not to be invited propely to the wedding; it smacks of somebody not liking you enough to really want you there but wanting to get a present from you. Fortunately I've never been put in that position.

which bit is traditional for me, from where i grew up? everything that i described, including being invited as a wedding evening guest. I guess its all down to perception, as I said, I've never thought of it in the way you do, as its what I'm used to in family and friends weddings since I was little.

Homeownertobe

coolcait wrote: »

Talk about the thread that has everything - right down to the Greek chorus!

I eagerly await the sequel when the brother-in-law stops a bus full of nuns and orphans from taking shelter in the castle despite the storm of the century raging outside, three serial killers wandering loose and probably an extra bill presented to the family to cover his organisation costs, or some other such nonsense.:rotfl:

coolcait

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Sorry, which bit is tradition?

I'd be a bit insulted not to be invited propely to the wedding; it smacks of somebody not liking you enough to really want you there but wanting to get a present from you. Fortunately I've never been put in that position.

Different traditions.


I don't know anyone among my family and friends who has felt that they haven't been "invited properly to the wedding" because they've been invited to the evening do. They certainly haven't felt 'insulted'.


Many of them will also go along to the wedding ceremony itself, if they're able to do so.


It would be interesting to know how many of the 'angsty' wedding threads on MSE are from people who have a different wedding tradition to the one I'm used to?


That might give a different perspective on many of them.