Are we being mean ?

dirty_magic

PenguinOfDeath wrote: »

Really? I'm way below average again, then!

I have stayed over for a wedding evening do that was about 20 miles away. A £30 premier Inn vs a £40 return taxi ride was my choice, but I wasn't 'forced' into it.

I can see how it adds up if you include everything from the hen do to the wedding gift. My friend's hen do alone is going to cost around £300. Most people get married at posh hotels miles away so that's one or maybe two nights there at £100+, then you've got the cost of the gift and probably a new outfit. A lot of the cost now is because hen and stag dos have gone from being one night to a holiday!

I've just worked out that between us we'll be spending more than £1200 on 3 weddings this year, two close friends and one not so close! :eek: That's not including last year and next year's weddings!

I appreciate that you don't have to spend so much, we could have booked cheaper places to stay and travelled and a new outfit isn't a necessity, but I can see how the cost can add up.

sidefx

Spending £2k to £20k and beyond on just one day of your life is ludicrous in my book. Unless you have an obscene amount of never ending money then it is a rather silly thing to do.

I'd much rather use that kind of money to take time off work and travel to the many places I'd love to go, or use it as a deposit on a house.....not spend it on a few hours in a fancy dress/suit and a party with people bemoaning how much it has cost them!!

Buzzybee90

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

I agree, it's bloody stupid.

I'm not yet married but fear being judged for not doing the all out, massive country hotel wedding, £200/night room shebang!

Jagraf wrote: »

Please don't. Keep it real

Errata wrote: »

Keep it small and very intimate and it will stand out and be remembered.

Definitely.

I hate the idea of people spending money to come to my wedding, or having issues because that's not what it's about.

Or spending crazy amounts on one day, but you can still have a great time on a smaller budget, and I'm very lucky where I live that there are options for more unusual reception venues! To be honest I'd much rather it was just close family and friends too, don't understand inviting people you don't know!

Torry_Quine

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I must be older than you because when most of friends married they had either a formal afternoon reception or an evening do. The idea of having, in effect, two receptions doesn't go back all that far, IME.

It has always been the norm in the weddings I've been to as well as my own to have both a sit-down reception followed by the evening celebration with guests less close such as work colleagues just invited to the evening.

POPPYOSCAR

sidefx wrote: »

Spending £2k to £20k and beyond on just one day in your life is ludicrous in my book. Unless you have an obscene amount of never ending money then it is a rather silly thing to do.

I'd much rather use that kind of money to take time off work and travel to the many places I'd love to go, or use it as a deposit on a house.....not spend it on a few hours in a fancy dress/suit and a party with people bemoaning how much it has cost them!!

Does anyone even really want to go to a wedding?


I find them really boring. A lot of hanging around mostly with people you have never met or likely to meet again, taking bets on how long the marriage will last.


And no you are not being mean. I will never understand why some think it ok to 'spend' your money for you on something they want.

sidefx

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Does anyone even really want to go to a wedding?


I find them really boring. A lot of hanging around mostly with people you have never met or likely to meet again, taking bets on how long the marriage will last.


And no you are not being mean. I will never understand why some think it ok to 'spend' your money for you on something they want.

I don't like them personally and avoid them if I can.
Only been to one that I felt was 'special' but it was a very quiet affair, with a few 'guests' and cost the couple very little.:)

melanzana

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Does anyone even really want to go to a wedding?


I find them really boring. A lot of hanging around mostly with people you have never met or likely to meet again, taking bets on how long the marriage will last.


And no you are not being mean. I will never understand why some think it ok to 'spend' your money for you on something they want.

We must be related!

For a few years now I have declined invitations to the weddings of friends where I won't know many people really, and now choose to attend only immediate family weddings where I know a lot of people.

That is not because I don't like my friends or anything like that, just that I am an introvert, and find small talk for hours on end with people I don't know very draining. Worst nightmare is to be at a reception table with a group of people who don't know each other that well. The topics of convo can dry up, and it can be exhausting trying to keep it going!

I am sure I am not the only one who is like this. Introverts by the way are very creative! in case anyone thinks I am weird....

No one seems to mind, and I give a very generous cash gift anyway. Conscience clear, and everyone is happy.

It is not at all unusual for people to hate big parties and weddings. It depends on the individual.

dirty_magic

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Does anyone even really want to go to a wedding?


I find them really boring. A lot of hanging around mostly with people you have never met or likely to meet again, taking bets on how long the marriage will last.


And no you are not being mean. I will never understand why some think it ok to 'spend' your money for you on something they want.

I do, I love weddings if they're close friends and family. I agree that they can be boring if it's a distant relative and you don't know anyone, but I've had a great time at every wedding I've been to, which is why I do spend money on them.

Spending £2k to £20k and beyond on just one day in your life is ludicrous in my book. Unless you have an obscene amount of never ending money then it is a rather silly thing to do.

I'd much rather use that kind of money to take time off work and travel to the many places I'd love to go, or use it as a deposit on a house.....not spend it on a few hours in a fancy dress/suit and a party with people bemoaning how much it has cost them.

I agree with this. I would like to get married but I don't think I could ever justify spending that sort of money. I'd just keep thinking about everything else with more value that I could have spent the money on.

It doesn't help that a lot of the people I know who have recently got married have said they wish they hadn't spent so much and with hindsight they wouldn't have done it. They all would though in reality, because they all wanted the big day. It just only hits you after that you've spent so much on a day that's over in a flash!

POPPYOSCAR

dirty_magic wrote: »

I do, I love weddings if they're close friends and family. I agree that they can be boring if it's a distant relative and you don't know anyone, but I've had a great time at every wedding I've been to, which is why I do spend money on them.



I agree with this. I would like to get married but I don't think I could ever justify spending that sort of money. I'd just keep thinking about everything else with more value that I could have spent the money on.

It doesn't help that a lot of the people I know who have recently got married have said they wish they hadn't spent so much and with hindsight they wouldn't have done it. They all would though in reality, because they all wanted the big day. It just only hits you after that you've spent so much on a day that's over in a flash!

Ah but then a lot of people get parents to pay so they are not really bothered about that.

missbiggles1

Torry_Quine wrote: »

It has always been the norm in the weddings I've been to as well as my own to have both a sit-down reception followed by the evening celebration with guests less close such as work colleagues just invited to the evening.

I think I'm older than you as well.:(