Dating someone who has less than you

meritaten

FBaby wrote: »

Although I totally agree with you in principle, I think there is also a growing trend for married men to not be totally happy to be the main bread winners whilst the wives stay at home, expecting their husband to do more and more their share of housework, whilst refusing to go back to work.

It has definitely ben my experience talking with male colleagues over the years. Only last week, one of them was telling me that he had an argument with his wife the day before because they had agreed (or so he thought!) that she would go back to work once their youngest child was starting school (next September) but he thinks she is coming up with excuses not to because she doesn't want to whilst he is desperate for her to do so because he wants to enjoy the benefit of finally having more disposable income.

this is a hard one Fbaby. I don't think men quite understand the emotional attachment which comes with taking care of the baby. its really hard for some women to give that up (even part-time).
also with the cost of childcare, sometimes it isn't really viable.
and...............the woman is already 'working' 16 hours days - is the man prepared to take on more of the household 'chores' to help balance it out? having to do all the housework and childcare plus work is really hard - just ask a single parent!

Amara

VestanPance wrote: »

Either that or go very old skool and look at arranged marriages. The old way of solving the wealth/status issue! :rotfl:

Nothing wrong with that. Grandma had an arranged marriage and has always spoken very highly about grandad ( I don't remember him, he died when I was very young) . Mum had happy childhood and they lived quite comfortably.
Arranged marriage can be good solution. Is it a dating agency , to the degree, today's equivalent of the matchmaker?

System

fierystormcloud wrote: »

I mean, who do think people are going to think more of: someone who says their daughter left school at 16, worked in Greggs for year, then got pregnant and is now living in a council flat.

OR the person who says their daughter went to college, left with 3 A levels, and is now at university doing a degree. In addition, she is backpacking around Europe in the summer, and doing a placement in Berlin for 6 weeks. (Being at university will ALWAYS open doors for young people that would never have been opened if they had not gone; I know many young people at university who travelled LOADS with things involved with the university.)

In most professional and upper working class/middle class/upper class environments, people will have far more respect for the second girl AND her family.

So people can poo-poo degrees and say anyone can do them and so on, but people will always get more respect with a degree, and more earning potential. There is a lot of inverted snobbery with people who have degrees. Even the 'soft' ones are worth doing. I know several people who did Media and Art degrees who are now working with multinational companies on £55-£70K a year, and they're still only mid 20s.

Ah.

You see, i have GCSE's, A Levels, and degree (albeit film and media production...long story but i made bad choices) but i still work in Greggs. Make of that what you will as i'm used to people looking down on me for the job i do, but to be honest with you after a long period of ill health i was grateful to have any job and its better than than no job. My mum isn't ashamed of me for the job i do, in fact she's actually damn proud of me for coping with the job (2nd busiest shop in the country) despite my MH issues that left me unable to work for 3 1/2 years, and she would tell anyone that if they expressed disdain over my choice of employment.

Aslo please don't assume that people who work there are all school drop outs and never amount to anything, one of the girls i work with is a landlord as well and has a few properties bought from her wages, and my managers earn some serious money. In fact my assistant manager was set to go to uni but instead was offered the position of assistant manger in her own shop at 18. She now earns quite a lot. My plan myself is to have management training and run my own shop eventually.

Homeownertobe

Please don't forget that over the long term a university education is far more valuable than a few years working in a shop.

I'd be quite interested to know how a 'girl' who works at Greggs can afford multiple properties to rent out from her wages.

System

Homeownertobe wrote: »

Please don't forget that over the long term a university education is far more valuable than a few years working in a shop.

I'd be quite interested to know how a 'girl' who works at Greggs can afford multiple properties to rent out from her wages.

Well she's worked there full time 6 years, is paid above minimum wage and is good with her money and she's the same age as me so more a woman that a girl. Not to mention she does night shifts that pay extra, plus bank holidays is time and a half. It adds up.

I get your point that a degree is to further your career aspects, my issue was with the other poster assuming people in retail for example are somehow lesser people because of it in that parents would feel embarrassed or ashamed. But like i said i get it a lot so i should be used to it. Just felt i had to defend myself and fellow workers.

sofarbehind

Homeownertobe wrote: »

Please don't forget that over the long term a university education is far more valuable than a few years working in a shop.

I'm not interested in a partner's education. The only thing that really matters is drive and determination. Don't lose that messedup, it will continue to serve you well. :T You are right to be proud of your achievements, they mean more than my stupid degrees.

Georgiegirl256

Homeownertobe wrote: »

Please don't forget that over the long term a university education is far more valuable than a few years working in a shop.

That's debatable. A friend I went to college with (art course) went to Uni afterwards and got a degree in fine art. I decided not to go to Uni but to go straight into work. I was a retail worker for about 15 years. For the last 5-6 years, the friend from college joined our company....his degree got him a long way didn't it?

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

I get your point that a degree is to further your career aspects, my issue was with the other poster assuming people in retail for example are somehow lesser people because of it in that parents would feel embarrassed or ashamed. But like i said i get it a lot so i should be used to it. Just felt i had to defend myself and fellow workers.

:T For that I applaud you! I know for sure that my parents were very proud of me and of my job, as I'm sure yours are of you MU! Us retail workers have to put up with a hell of a lot of cr*p, and in my opinion we earn a lot more life experience than we ever would by going to Uni. I've always said that everyone should be made to work in retail for at least a week, that way they'd never give any grief to any shop assistant ever again, and they'd have a whole new respect for the job.

I also applaud anyone who does go to Uni and who gets themselves a degree. It's what they do with it afterwards that counts though.

meritaten

I worked for over forty years in retail, hospitality and office and teaching. for life experience I would say retail and hospitality! develops your 'common sense'! has to - you are dealing with the 'public'. I also have a degree in psychology - has that helped me? yes, in that it makes me a bit more 'insightful' in how people think perhaps. but without the actual 'work' experience - I think the degree could be harmful. in that without work experience and life experience, I could be dwelling in LaLa Land - Academia to be precise. with no common sense whatsoever. I met lecturers who had never set foot outside education - and their lack of understanding of what 'real life' was like was gobsmaking.

VfM4meplse

meritaten wrote: »

I met lecturers who had never set foot outside education - and their lack of understanding of what 'real life' was like was gobsmaking.

It is no secret that academics can entirely devoid of common sense. That's why they are institutionalised in their own little world known as academia - it's for their own protection! They wouldn't last for 2 minutes in any other environment.

j.e.j.

a1fan wrote: »

My colleague has her own property in London and has her own car. Apart from mortgage she has no debts. She's not a high earner but to have what she's got, she made a lot of sacrifices (such as not going to uni and working instead, saving hard and living cheaply/simply). She is in her late 20's and is single.

She claims she is single because many guys who are around her age do not own their own home and she's reluctant to risk losing anything.

She'll end up like my cousin if she's not careful. She didn't have a boyfriend/partner at all until she was 40!! They were all after her money, apparently