Issue re friend. LONG RANT

maman

pebbles88 wrote: »

Just cut contact! You don't like her, regardless of whether she's in the same village or whatever nonsense you seem compelled to keep her around. Just let it fizzle out & be happy.

I have to agree.


I don't mean to be unkind but you really do seem to be making a huge issue out of this. Maybe I don't understand as I don't live in a small community but life's really too short to get worked up over something/someone like this.


I have a mixture of friends. Some will text 'thank you' or something simple in response to a text others don't. It's no big deal. I'd keep any texts to her to an absolute minimum if at all otherwise when might think you want to be closer than you say.


She's obviously not the type to be a close friend to you but acceptable as someone to chat with occasionally at the pub. Just accept her for what she is but don't encourage her. You don't have to be rude just non-committal.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

NONE of those messages required, nor suggested they expected, a reply. They're self contained.

'Do you want to go to the pub?' requires, by its very nature, a reply.

Yes, when actually speaking in person, you'd say 'OK', nod or suchlike - but text? No. Even if it wasn't going to cost you to do so.


Boring though it may be, talking about her jobs is an attempt at sharing information. To converse. As is asking you about your holiday. I'd certainly ask a friend how their holiday plans were going. Mind you, if they looked as though they were getting huffy about my asking them, I'd probably not be looking to spend so much time with them - and I wouldn't enter into protracted text chats with them either - if somebody doesn't like my attempts at showing interest in them, I wouldn't be sending them unecessary replies to texts that don't require them.


Seems to be that you're incompatible as friends. She probably feels that, although she likes you, you're quite hard work, just as you are saying you're angry with her.

Find somebody else to go to the pub with. If you bump into them there, be nice. Just don't arrange to meet them, as all you appear to do is get wound up about her.

LandyAndy

fierystormcloud wrote: »

She has now texted me, (at 8pm) but I am probably not going to text back, as all she said was 'been out all day with friends, catch ya soon.' She didn't even ask how I am! (I told her in my text that I was a bit poorly with a cold.)

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Birdie85

I think you may be over-reacting slightly about the not texting back thing. I don't really enjoy texting and don't like to get sucked into text conversations so use it just as a way of quickly passing on information. It doesn't sound like many of your responses to her actually require a response if they're denying a visit or turning down a walk etc with no offer of doing something else i.e. you're just saying 'No thanks', rather than, 'No thanks, but how about tomorrow instead?'... that would give her something to reply with rather than risk bugging you with more offers that you'll probably just turn down.

It does sound like you're just not that keen, so stick to seeing her at social gatherings and don't bother texting her. Doesn't need to be awkward, just be nice when you see her and don't chase up doing anything outside of those times.

PasturesNew

I'd have not replied to your texts either. They don't need a reply - in fact, it'd be annoying ...and who stops?

Can I pop round?
No, not there.

** END **

...or...
OK, maybe another time, it was short notice
Yeah maybe, yes it was
I just thought it'd be daft to not ask, as we were passing
Yeah, it would be, but we're not in
Yeah, shame
Oh well,enjoy your walk
Will do
Bye
Cya

???Nuts.

KJBlackwood

Without meaning to sound harsh, if you're not happy with a friendship and can't see it improving, then end it. Have some backbone.

Philip624

Maybe she doesnt have unlimted texts on her mobile phone contract?

1886

OP.. You've started two threads about this woman, both saying how you find her annoying etc.

Seriously, just brush her off and get on with your life. You won't miss her and you won't be any worse off

System

I'm surprised you gave her your phone number in the first place tbh.

People I don't like or am close to don't have my phone number. Mind you, it did take a bit of imagination to get out of giving my sister in law my number.

fierystormcloud

Update on the annoying friend.

I have done as people advised, and given her (and her other half) a very wide berth. I haven't texted her or rang her or encouraged her (or her other half) or anything for about 3 months! Although she did feel the need to text ME 6 weeks ago, to let me know she was on holiday abroad, sipping tequila on the balcony of their 5 star hotel. (Like I am supposed to care! :huh:)

And it's just been so refreshing; they haven't turned up out of blue for about 2 months (since we said we were just on our way out 3 times in a row,) and also they haven't asked us back to their house (as we have not asked them to ours...) So it 'was' like they were getting the message. FINALLY!

BUT... I have seen her in passing a couple of times in town this past 3 weeks, and she has chatted for about 10 minutes each time, and it was almost 100% about HER and her work issues... And once again, the quiz over me working part time, and can we afford it?! Why does she keep asking FGS?!

Then I saw her walking around about 3-4 days ago, and she said 'we will have to all go for a drink at the pub, or maybe we can come around yours; after all, you came around ours last...' And then she just waited for my response. I went blank, and then she said 'shall we come to yours this weekend?'

'Ummmm, I will have to see when hubby is available' I muttered.

This was Monday ... but we REALLY don't want her at our house, and FGS, we don't want to meet them at the pub either really. We don't hate them, but we have VERY little in common, she asks inappropriate and nosey questions, and they are boring. Yeah I said it sorry. Maybe people find me boring I dunno! But all she talks about is WORK and how she hates it, and how hard done by she is. And she quizzes our financial situation, and when are we going in holiday? And why have we not booked anything yet?

The woman (and her husband) is not someone we want to really spend time with.

How can I deal with it? Just go to the pub ONCE (say near Christmas) to shut her up? Or just don't get back to her? Bit awkward as we know some of the same people, and I go to the same monthly social group as her in our little town (although she actually missed the last one; )

So it's not like we live 50 miles away and they don't know anyone we know... It's kind of hard to 'phase her out...'

Sorry first world problems! It's just nice to hear people's advice on here, whether it's kind and friendly or get over yerself you silly moobag. It helps me get my head straight. I have ANOTHER issue actually (family issue not friend,) which I will post about later.