Here we can all be heard for a little while

Indie_Kid

calleyw wrote: »

I just look at the washing up and think whats the point!!!

No one sees it apart from me. And then when I leave it and keep looking at it it causes me much distress.

I know most of these things only take a few mins to do and are not really that bad such as clean the kitchen and bathroom etc. but I just look at it at go meh!!!!!

Same. It only gets done (same with laundry) when I really have to do it. Or as was the case on Monday, because my mum was visiting and I knew she'd say something.:o

And if people don't reply to texts or want to see me I get upset and think that they really don't like me. Even if they did or do!!!!

And really it could be just something as simple as they are busy and don't have the time to reply. Or just forget I always think the worse. And that is what has caused problems and why something I wanted did not work out. And it was all my own fault as I was just so insecure and unsure of what was going on!!!!

I don't know why but I am tears tonight just typing this.

Yours

Calley

This sounds familiar too. I sent a text to a relative in the week and after nearly 2 days received no reply. I then checked if I'd sent it to the right person. (I have 2 people with the same name on my phone; although I have his surname and the other person, there's a photo) I then sent the same message and left my name. I have a feeling he didn't recognise my number. I then got a reply.

As for people not replying - I get that a lot too. That's even if he starts his email apologising.:o

Pyxis

Aw Calley..:A

I'm a bit like you. I've got the hump with someone at the moment because when I told them about my fall etc. and how low I was feeling, I got very little back. It's made me feel cross and at the same time unworthy of friendship.
Once again, I thought they were more of a friend than they did.


So you see, it's not just you.

I think that part of the problem with some people is that they have never, or hardly ever, been on their own. As a result, they do not understand how difficult things can be if you have problems to deal with on your own.

calleyw

Pyxis wrote: »

Aw Calley..:A

I'm a bit like you. I've got the hump with someone at the moment because when I told them about my fall etc. and how low I was feeling, I got very little back. It's made me feel cross and at the same time unworthy of friendship.
Once again, I thought they were more of a friend than they did.


So you see, it's not just you.

I think that part of the problem with some people is that they have never, or hardly ever, been on their own. As a result, they do not understand how difficult things can be if you have problems to deal with on your own.

I just think I have totally different idea of what a relationship/ friendship should be.

I do understand that other people have a lot more than me going on in there lives. And give lee way for that. But when it turns in to days or even weeks before you hear from them then that is way beyond rude as far as I am concerned.

It takes less than a min to type a text saying busy talk later. Especially if you are in some sort of dating relationship. Or they say you going out for a day during a long weekend and make plans with there mother for 3 days out of the 4 at the last minute and then oh well not sure about the other day. Can't promise anything you are left thinking !!!!!!!!!! you been talking about this for the last two months!!!!!

And wonders why I might be a teeny tiny bit !!!!ed off.

Oh god I need to stop this is just really winding me up now :rotfl:

Yours

Calley

persa

calleyw wrote: »

It was my ex. I don't think he ever did understand. And would just accuse me of going off on one.

And I suppose I did. As I know full well if it had been one of his children or parents he would text them right back. But me nope.

If you have to stay in touch with your ex because there are children involved or some other big important reason, then stay in touch on those very specific points and those points only. There's no need to make small talk about personal things. You can stay civil without having to get friendly.

An ex doesn't have the privilege of making you feel anything whatsoever anymore - unless you let him. Does he like and respect other people more than you? Probably. Should that upset you? Hell no. He's an ex, he can be as inconsiderate and annoying as he likes - you don't have to come home to that, so it doesn't really matter.

I think you need to focus more on feeling better about your own life - you sound low in confidence. Sometimes having a tidy home can give you a bit of a boost, and trying new things (such as that local group!) can demonstrate to yourself that actually, you're braver than you gave yourself credit for.

I think there's actually a self-book named after the phrase - I haven't read it. But I do subscribe to the general idea of "Feel the fear and do it anyway". Oh, I analyse and overanalyse things, I'm guilty of that. But the other day I gave a presentation because no one else wanted to, and I thought, "sod it, why not?" It was mildly terrifying, but I felt better for doing it. At least I had a go - no one else did.

Most people are braver than they realise.

elsien

calleyw wrote: »

I am badly organised and lazy so things don't get done. I need structure. I really don't think that I can cope with everyday life. Hence the washing up is never done. And the house and garden are no where near being finished.
Calley

I don't think it's about being badly organised and lazy, it's the lack of structure. I was having a similar conversation with parent this morning - now she's retired and has so much time on her hands she's doing a lot less because she just thinks "there's always tomorrow." I was the same when I lost my job - it took me twice as long to get round to things because I knew I could always do it another time. I suppose it's about finding things to motivate yourself to create that routine. My mother won't let herself sit down with the paper, for example, until she's done some jobs. Personally I could happily ignore housework for days, so I'd go into the garden instead. Is there anything that might work for you?

Indie_Kid

calleyw wrote: »

I just think I have totally different idea of what a relationship/ friendship should be.

I do understand that other people have a lot more than me going on in there lives. And give lee way for that. But when it turns in to days or even weeks before you hear from them then that is way beyond rude as far as I am concerned.

I agree. I once got told off because I hadn't checked my phone for 3 hours. (sorry!) But it was ok for him not to check his phone for 4 days. And when he did, he clearly hadn't read my text.

I did receive a text sometime this morning from a friend who I texted yesterday. But given his previous text of "I'm away" (this week) I wasn't that bothered that he'd taken his time to reply.

I don't think it's about being badly organised and lazy, it's the lack of structure. I was having a similar conversation with parent this morning - now she's retired and has so much time on her hands she's doing a lot less because she just thinks "there's always tomorrow." I was the same when I lost my job - it took me twice as long to get round to things because I knew I could always do it another time. I suppose it's about finding things to motivate yourself to create that routine. My mother won't let herself sit down with the paper, for example, until she's done some jobs. Personally I could happily ignore housework for days, so I'd go into the garden instead. Is there anything that might work for you?

It's the same with me. Some things I hate doing; so I always leave them until I really need to do them.

Georgiegirl256

elsien wrote: »

Nowhere adventurous - Madeira. Which reminds me, I haven't looked up anything about where to visit yet. Planning to be internet free, so will be AWOL from here for two weeks.
You lot are so organised. I only realised last week that the ehic and currency cards had expired, and I still haven't got a suitcase or a swimming costume. Must get my behind of here and do something.

Madeira looks a beautiful place

The suitcases we've got are blooming heavy, even before anything has been out in. I'm on the lookout for some new ones.

Georgiegirl256

calleyw wrote: »

I just look at the washing up and think whats the point!!!

No one sees it apart from me. And then when I leave it and keep looking at it it causes me much distress.

I know most of these things only take a few mins to do and are not really that bad such as clean the kitchen and bathroom etc. but I just look at it at go meh!!!!!

I know it's hard to get motivated sometimes and it's easy for someone else to say, but I'm sure you'd feel better in yourself if you did these jobs. You've hit the nail on the head when you say when you look at it it causes you distress. From my own point of view, if I'm surrounded by clutter it stresses me out and I can't relax.

Before I can sit down, I've got to get the dishes done and any other jobs or else I can't relax. Maybe have a treat or something waiting for you, a magazine to read perhaps that you can only have once you've got your jobs done.

calleyw

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I know it's hard to get motivated sometimes and it's easy for someone else to say, but I'm sure you'd feel better in yourself if you did these jobs. You've hit the nail on the head when you say when you look at it it causes you distress. From my own point of view, if I'm surrounded by clutter it stresses me out and I can't relax.

Before I can sit down, I've got to get the dishes done and any other jobs or else I can't relax. Maybe have a treat or something waiting for you, a magazine to read perhaps that you can only have once you've got your jobs done.

I get a sense of achievement when I have a tidy kitchen or bathroom. But it never stays clean and needs doing again :rotfl:

I do let it get bad and then blitz and then let it go back to the same.

if I had lots of guests or visitors or even shock horror a relationship ( aint never going to happen but there you go)then I would probably be tidier as would not want them see my dirty knickers lying around or a dirty loo or shower.

I just think I have to come to the conclusion that I am waste of space a mess and just to messed up to give a flying monkeys. And who want me as I'm a mental/nut case.

Yours

Calley

Wellyboots6

Evening all

Hello persa!

What positive thing are you going to do tomorrow then Calley? One little chore or task to complete which then at the end of the day you can give yourself a pat on the back for achieving.
Kinda like Flybaby is doing with the health kick, one small change at a time, which added up starts to make a bigger difference (hope you are OK Flybaby!).

How are the bruises Pyxis? I got some arnica cream which apparently is good for bruising. Got it in my hospital bag ready for treating my downstairs!

Hubbys friend is still here playing games. I've had to come up to bed as I have an awful feeling of dread I can't shift. We had a bit of a chimney fire earlier, which I managed to contain well with no damage done, but since then I really feel awful. So anyone that wants to talk rubbish to distract me feel free!