Here we can all be heard for a little while

calleyw

persa wrote: »

To me, that sounds brilliant. It's all about your perception. You see a weekend in by yourself as boring and lonely. To me, I see an opportunity to have a nice long hot shower, flop around and do some baking.

I don't work at the moment so do spend a lot of time on my own as it is. I need to go back to work but don't have the confidence at the moment.

If I was busy I think it would help as not to much time to ruminate on things.

I am badly organised and lazy so things don't get done. I need structure. I really don't think that I can cope with everyday life. Hence the washing up is never done. And the house and garden are no where near being finished.

Does not help that I have had sciatica for the last 5/6 weeks. Most of the garden work is grunt work and no one to help. And no money to get anyone to help.

Yours

Calley

Indie_Kid

calleyw wrote: »

I know this going to sound really strange but we have a local speakers club which I have toyed with going to.

But its just getting in the door. As I have a real issue with going to places I don't know. And not knowing what is going to happen and what is expected of me.

Maybe I will get husband to come with me the first time and then go from there.

Yours

Calley

This happened to me some years ago too. I left in the end due to distance and joined a slightly more local group. I made the mistake of joining the second group at the end of the year - the second time I went there, they were busking.

Pyxis

calleyw wrote: »

I know this going to sound really strange but we have a local speakers club which I have toyed with going to.

But its just getting in the door. As I have a real issue with going to places I don't know. And not knowing what is going to happen and what is expected of me.

Maybe I will get husband to come with me the first time and then go from there.

Yours

Calley

That's a good idea!
Or you could ring a contact number and ask the person all those questions. You can say you're a bit shy, so it helps if you know what's involved first.





Hello, Persa! Welcome to the thread! It's great getting new bods!
There's some good advice in your post. I liked the bit about the different perception of a weekend with nothing to do!

calleyw

Pyxis wrote: »

That's a good idea!
Or you could ring a contact number and ask the person all those questions. You can say you're a bit shy, so it helps if you know what's involved first.

I e-mailed and got a reply back with in about 10 mins explaining how the 1st meeting would be going and the costs.

I said if I get the confidence to go I will be the one looking like a rabbit in the headlights LOL!!!

Yours

Calley

persa

calleyw wrote: »

I don't work at the moment so do spend a lot of time on my own as it is. I need to go back to work but don't have the confidence at the moment.

If I was busy I think it would help as not to much time to ruminate on things.

I am badly organised and lazy so things don't get done. I need structure. I really don't think that I can cope with everyday life. Hence the washing up is never done. And the house and garden are no where near being finished.

Does not help that I have had sciatica for the last 5/6 weeks. Most of the garden work is grunt work and no one to help. And no money to get anyone to help.

Yours

Calley

How active are you? Can you physically do the washing up, i.e. is it ability or laziness getting in the way?

If it's just pure laziness and you don't work, maybe you could designate certain days as 'work days' and create a schedule for yourself?

I've worked from home before (my day job) and it's so difficult. When you're in an office, you feel more inclined to get stuff done. At home, you feel it's your right to do nothing.

Something I've found helps when working from home (which would help with your current situation too) is forcing myself to get up at a particular time, wash and get dressed. If were to lounge around in my dressing gown and get up late, no one would realise (no commute, no face to face contact) but mentally, I work far less efficiently that way. So I get up and start a routine as if I was going to go into the office. That means looking presentable, even if no one sees me that day!

Could you set tomorrow as a work day, set your alarm tonight, then get up, have a shower and do certain tasks at certain times? E.g. up at 10am (it is a Sunday after all), shower, change, then 10.30am load the washing machine. Create your own structure.

Is there something like this near you? http://www.letslinkuk.net or http://www.choreswap.com Maybe someone could help you with the gardening in exchange for you giving up your time to do something more manageable with your health. There will be a few things you're good at.

Pyxis wrote: »

Hello, Persa! Welcome to the thread! It's great getting new bods!
There's some good advice in your post. I liked the bit about the different perception of a weekend with nothing to do!

Hello! I cannot tell you how excited I was to be able to clear a day in my diary to do absolutely nothing. We always want what the other person is having... Such is human nature.

calleyw wrote: »

I e-mailed and got a reply back with in about 10 mins explaining how the 1st meeting would be going and the costs.

I said if I get the confidence to go I will be the one looking like a rabbit in the headlights LOL!!!

Yours

Calley

Go on, have a go. If it's awful, you can come back here and a have a laugh and a moan about it. But it might actually be a lot of fun.

Pyxis

Trouble is when it's feast or famine!
You have too many engagements, Calley has very few.
I suppose like everything, it's finding that balance.

calleyw

persa wrote: »

How active are you? Can you physically do the washing up, i.e. is it ability or laziness getting in the way?

If it's just pure laziness and you don't work, maybe you could designate certain days as 'work days' and create a schedule for yourself?

I just look at the washing up and think whats the point!!!

No one sees it apart from me. And then when I leave it and keep looking at it it causes me much distress.

I know most of these things only take a few mins to do and are not really that bad such as clean the kitchen and bathroom etc. but I just look at it at go meh!!!!!

I also suffer with other issues. Like I can't understand why anyone would like me. And if people don't reply to texts or want to see me I get upset and think that they really don't like me. Even if they did or do!!!!

And really it could be just something as simple as they are busy and don't have the time to reply. Or just forget I always think the worse. And that is what has caused problems and why something I wanted did not work out. And it was all my own fault as I was just so insecure and unsure of what was going on!!!!

I don't know why but I am tears tonight just typing this.

Yours

Calley

persa

Pyxis wrote: »

Trouble is when it's feast or famine!
You have too many engagements, Calley has very few.
I suppose like everything, it's finding that balance.

Oh, I know what my problem is. I don't say no to invites often enough! I'm trying to find a better balance, but habit is a hard thing to overcome.

persa

calleyw wrote: »

I just look at the washing up and think whats the point!!!

No one sees it apart from me. And then when I leave it and keep looking at it it causes me much distress.

I know most of these things only take a few mins to do and are not really that bad such as clean the kitchen and bathroom etc. but I just look at it at go meh!!!!!

My place is a tip right now. I'll clean mine if you clean yours?

I need to tidy mine because I want to serve notice on this place and I can't really do that until it's in a state suitable for viewings and inspections.

calleyw wrote: »

I also suffer with other issues. Like I can't understand why anyone would like me. And if people don't reply to texts or want to see me I get upset and think that they really don't like me. Even if they did or do!!!!

And really it could be just something as simple as they are busy and don't have the time to reply. Or just forget I always think the worse. And that is what has caused problems and why something I wanted did not work out. And it was all my own fault as I was just so insecure and unsure of what was going on!!!!

I don't know why but I am tears tonight just typing this.

Do your friends know how important a quick reply is to you? I'm guilty of not always replying to texts. I get distracted by something and by the time I have a moment to send a reply, I feel it's too late and just don't. However if someone explained to me that they got a bit worried if I didn't text back promptly, I would make an effort.

Plenty of us are plain busy and inconsiderate, not intentionally mean!

PS Sometimes a good cry is cathartic. It can be easier to cope once you've got that negativity out.

calleyw

persa wrote: »

Do your friends know how important a quick reply is to you? I'm guilty of not always replying to texts. I get distracted by something and by the time I have a moment to send a reply, I feel it's too late and just don't. However if someone explained to me that they got a bit worried if I didn't text back promptly, I would make an effort.

Plenty of us are plain busy and inconsiderate, not intentionally mean!

PS Sometimes a good cry is cathartic. It can be easier to cope once you've got that negativity out.

It was my ex. I don't think he ever did understand. And would just accuse me of going off on one.

I never expected a reply back straight away but when you have not had a reply back when you know they had at least one tea break and one lunch break. Does make you think !!!!!!!!!

And I suppose I did. As I know full well if it had been one of his children or parents he would text them right back. But me nope.

Yours

Calley