Here we can all be heard for a little while

calleyw

codemonkey wrote: »

One my old schoolfriends posted a few months back, boasting that her and her OH hadn't had a single day without their kids or a night out in 5 years as they were such good parents that they wouldn't leave their children with anyone and the kids came first and all the comments were congratulating her on being so dedicated. I don't have kids so perhaps I just don't get it, but I thought it was just so sad that she seemed to have forgotten that she's a person with her own needs.

I don't have children. But think its a bit sad that you feel you are nothing with out your children.

It use to wind me up as I married the youngest of 4 brothers. And they all were married or with partners who had children.

And even though the children were grown up and moved out had there own children thats all they talked about. Of course I never wanted children. And I just found it so sad that in 40/50's they had nothing else to talk about. I understand talking about them. But it seemed there whole life was still their grown up children.

Yours

Calley

Waves_and_Smiles

I find it really sad too code, which is why I try to always remember to treat my parent friends as well as their children. I had a friend who's own mother started calling her mummy after her son was born. What's worse is her husband started calling her mum, too! It really upset her, she wasn't even classed as a daughter and wife anymore. It was as if she had completely lost her identity to those she loved.

Pyxis

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

We referred to our 'gloryhole' on Wednesday whist showing prospective buyers round our house, and pointing to the cupboard under the stairs :eek::eek: Like you I didn't know it meant anything else.

Hurray for gloryholes! :T We shall reclaim the word!
Hopefully, the buyers didn't know the smutty version, as they might think your understairs cupboard has a peephole into next door's downstairs loo! :rotfl::rotfl: :rotfl:

It's not specifically a northern expression though!

codemonkey wrote: »

I'm not sure what'she happened but there seems to be a general expectation at the moment that parents (and particularly mothers) must lose their identities as people and become only (insert child's name here)'s mummy. I've noticed it with a few of my friends - they post articles on Facebook about how you're a bad parent if you dare to do anything without your child. One my old schoolfriends posted a few months back, boasting that her and her OH hadn't had a single day without their kids or a night out in 5 years as they were such good parents that they wouldn't leave their children with anyone and the kids came first and all the comments were congratulating her on being so dedicated. I don't have kids so perhaps I just don't get it, but I thought it was just so sad that she seemed to have forgotten that she's a person with her own needs.
.

Ooo crumbs! I don't think that's good parenting at all! All it's doing is teaching the children that their needs are paramount! (No bad thing up to a point, but they've taken it to extremes).
If the children are not used to being in different situations, whether it's with a babysitter or a grandparent for the night, it's depriving them of valuable learning experiences. Plus, if they don't learn that parents are people in their own right, with social needs that are separate from just being family members, they might grow up despising them a bit. A well-rounded parent, with interests outside the family, produces much more well-rounded children, as they can then see their parents in all sorts of different situations and learn from that!

oldestgnome

Free adult colouring links on this thread if you haven't seen them

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/68893363#Comment_68893363

I made it to Santiago, all 775km!!! Now doing an extra 115km to the coast.

Hugs, squishes, handshakes to all.

Birdie85

I'm definitely not one of those over attached parents! DS's first sleepover with grandparents was when he was 4 months old as we were at a close friend's wedding! He loves going for his sleepovers, I think it's good for him to get used to being with other people, as long as I'm always his favourite! I find the whole parenthood thing quite overwhelming at times (anxiety flares up) so being able to have other people look after him with no fuss from him is really helpful.

But yes, I hate that people turn into Mummy and Daddy overnight. It's like people have forgotten how to speak to me as a normal person. I have interests, just like I always have, yet all people can say is 'How's the little man?'. Like they care, if my friends actually gave two hoots about my DS they'd bother to visit us and see him!

rjhammond91

I'll be honest, I've only ever known a glory hole as the rude version...:o

I don't have children so I can't judge as I'd probably end up being an over protective parent due to me worrying about everything!

I've just got home from work where I did my Dispatcher test.. I feel like I've done well but don't really want to jinx it.. hopefully I'll find out on Monday how well I did.. If I've passed that then puts me forward a step in the application process and I'll get an interview! :j

xx

Wellyboots6

Good luck RJ!

I have no idea what sort of parent I will be! Ive never felt particularly maternal, and have already got MIL booked to do a lot of babysitting. But then I am very overprotective of Little Sod and hate being away from him. I think a lot of that is to do with his issues and his difficult behaviour, but I wonder how different it will be with a human baby!
It will be interesting to see.

I am looking forward to going back to work after escapee appears, and can't wait to get such in to choosing a new career etc. Hubby is keen to be a start at home dad, and so far that suits us both. It could all change a lot though once we actually get the reality of it.

mellymoo74

Today I am mainly worn out.
7 ASB booklets completed (about 25 sheets per book), memory card changed so nice recording happening (but their quiet again)
Driving lesson had

Now need to rest. I'm W
Watching smiler on the horror channel

Birdie85

Katy- DH was mad keen to go part time and do the majority of the childcare (I earn more than him so it would make sense if one of us went part time it'd be him) but after a few months of parenthood he changed his mind! ;-) Now he enjoys the break! :rotfl:

rjhammond91

Not slept well tonight.. I keep having pretty rubbish dreams.. And when I wake up I still think things are real, I still think my little sister is in danger (when she's not, she's probably flat out sleeping), and I think I'm late for work (not due back to work until Tuesday!)..

I just need to calm down and try to go back to sleep..

Let's try it again!

xx