Here we can all be heard for a little while

codemonkey

Rj - I used to have the late for work dreams which were so vivid, I'd be up and getting dressed before I realised it was 4am. I also got ready in my sleep a few times. Hope you got back to sleep

I am still in bed having dog cuddles. I haven't seen my parents in weeks but I'm so tired and the pain is bad. I feel guilty though.

rjhammond91

Hi Code,

Yeah I managed to get back to sleep.. At about 8am! Just woken up again.. :eek: think I should get up now! Lol

I have woken up in the past thinking I was late for work and it was only because I noticed it was still dark outside that I checked the time (I get up at 5 for a day shift and at the moment it's already light when I wake up).. It was about 2/3am!!

Don't feel guilty! Take the time you need I love doggy cwtches.. I wish I was allowed a dog in my flat.. I want a little pug!
xx

calleyw

Birdie85 wrote: »

But yes, I hate that people turn into Mummy and Daddy overnight. It's like people have forgotten how to speak to me as a normal person. I have interests, just like I always have, yet all people can say is 'How's the little man?'. Like they care, if my friends actually gave two hoots about my DS they'd bother to visit us and see him!

Be a carer then you get hows your husband? Excuse what about me?

Drives me loopy hence why when I know someone is a carer or has an ill spouse or partner or family member. I ask about the person stood in front of me first then about the ill person. As I am still Calley first and carer second. And my husband was still Tony first and second someone who had a stroke and a disability.

Well last night well. My visitor did not leave until nearly midnight :eek: and then I did not get to sleep until nearly one awake at 4.30ish then awake again at 8.00ish. Got up put my scruffs on to do some filling on the down stairs hallway walls. Using proper filling blades things and cut myself :eek: yes only I could manage that :rotfl:

Then rang husband and went out for coffee come home and started the washing that I stopped to go out for coffee. Oh yes I had a piece of cake. i paid for coffee and cake. And spent £8 ish in savers and they did not have what I went in for :rotfl:

And just cut my own hair yes I know. i hate going to the hairdressers. its just the cost but the whole experience I really hate. How anyone likes going when they feel like they trying to take my scalp off when washing it.

Yours

Calley

calleyw

Me again. Can someone stop me as I think I am becoming domesticated.

Should have done it before use. But better than not at all. just wiped my washing line down. I have one of those expensive ones that attach to the wall. And even put the pegs in to a bleach bath :eek:

Have done a small amount of work in the garden. Watered all the plants but it looks like its going to rain :rotfl:and even re potted a few. I might if I am feeling brave post some pictures of it as it is.

Yours

Calley

faerielight

hi guys.. feeling really scared and alone.. it's Pride today, everyone is partying and I'm here alone feeling so scared about surgery on Friday and so alone.. I've been single for 7 years, and physically and mentally ill for so long.. trauma and illness shrank my world. I feel so much rage today to my abusive alcoholic mother who hates me, to the hospital that caused this medical negligence and ruined my health ..I feel so utterly powerless and hopeless:(

Pyxis

Faerielight, you're not alone. You have us on this thread.

Are you able to talk about the surgery you're due to have?
Is that the main cause of the anxiety?


I know that when it seems as if everyone is having a good time, it augments your own loneliness, but do remember that a lot of that party jollity is very superficial, and many people will go home afterwards to an alone situation.

Hop into the duvet fort and snuggle up to a dog and have a biscuit.
:A

Wellyboots6

Try not to feel hopeless faerie, your world might have shrunk due to circumstance, but by posting here you are starting to expand it again a tiny little bit at a time.

Surgery is bound to be scary, but this time next week it will be over with. Start counting down, you have less than a week now of being scared left!

Your feelings count, they reflect what is going on for you at the moment. By identifying what you don't like about your feelings and your situation you can do little things to change those, when you feel strong enough.

You've already expanded your world a little, so you are on your way forward

Pyxis

Nicely said, Katy!

Faerie, would it help to get your case packed, and include some treats, if only things like luxury hand cream, moisturiser, scented soap, etc.

Plenty of things to read, or if you like puzzles, those and pens/pencils.

A bed jacket or cardigan to wear as one, in case you're cold.

Tissues, moist wipes,etc.

Favourite snacks.



Doing that might help you to feel more in control of the situation.

Waves_and_Smiles

Hang in there faerie, you are not alone. We are all standing with you. Can you do something comforting for yourself? Maybe cuddle up with lots of blankets and cushions and drink something warming? Do you have cuddly toys? Cuddling one of those helps me.

I slept for 17 hours straight! I woke up and could barely lift my head off the pillow so I went with it. WaSp checked that I wasn't dead after 12 hours and I mumbled and waved and went back to sleep. I do feel quite stable though so I figure my brain is making good use of its rest. I had a lot of weird and very vivid dreams so again I imagine my brain is fighting wayward chemicals back into submission.

When WaSp picked up my prescription yesterday he was informed that the law has changed and it is no longer legal to drive on my medication mix. I am forbidden to drive anyway because of the hallucinations but I have never been banned because of my pills before. The pharmacist told him to get a form from my doctor confirming the medication I take because apparently it could help me get money towards transport costs for hospital appointments including a percentage of WaSp's petrol. I shall have to look into it because the hospital is in a very busy area and it costs us a lot in petrol in traffic queues (which make me freak out because people are next to me!) or driving a long way out to avoid them.

Strangely it has made me sad. I know I couldn't drive anyway but now I really have no chance. I wasn't about to try, it is just the feeling of having something officially taken away.

Just to add please don't panic about it being illegal for anyone else to drive. It is because of my specific mix of pain medication and anti-psychotic medications. They would be ok individually, it is is the high amounts all together that make it illegal. Most people will still be fine, the combination of drugs that all make me drowsy and slow my reactions are what makes it illegal for me.

Solarjunkie

Believe it or not WaS, some people do things that are illegal.
The reason you are not driving is that you choose not to, it is under your control. You have decided not to for a number of reasons, including the fact it is now illegal & the fact that you wouldn't be able to see much with a blanket over your head! But it is your choice.