Here we can all be heard for a little while

Birdie85

Aww, that's disappointing Code. Which other ones are you looking at?

WaS - I don't think my Mum has much of a concept of money sometimes! I tend to buy all of my clothes in sales and rarely pay more than £25 for something (unless it's a special occasion). I just got frustrated yesterday as she knows I don't have a lot of money yet she kept pointing out things that would be nice, and made me try things on, then I was left to put it back and explain that I don't have the money for it. She's recently just had a bit of a windfall and I was kind of expecting to get some treats off her yesterday so I paid £30 (that I can ill afford) for lunch as a pre-emptive 'thank you' yet no treats came! I know I'm spoilt but she's the one who's spoilt me all my life, then suddenly over this last year she stopped getting me anything and even for my 30th birthday this year I just got some cash... a few years ago there'd been promises of a weekend away and special presents for my 'big birthday', but it was just a card with £20 more than I'd usually get. She bought some bits for DS which is always appreciated, but he doesn't actually need anything, she just buys him cute stuff because it's cute, not because he needs yet another t-shirt! I'd rather that money was actually spent on DH and me as we're in desperate need of clothes and shoes... but hey, as long as DS is dressed well, who cares what his parents look like, right?! I know this is all first world problems and pathetic!!!

codemonkey

It's not pathetic if it bothers you Birdie, especially when you thought she might treat you. Did she stop spending so much on you after DS was born? My mum started spending less on presents for me after I got married and sometimes it feels a bit...meh. I feel sorry for DH though - his brothers get expensive gifts but for one birthday his mum got him a tshirt from Asda and some coat hangers!

These are the ones I'm looking at
http://www.lindybop.co.uk/dresses-c1/pearl-exquisite-emerald-green-polka-long-sleeved-vintage-50s-inspired-swing-party-dress-p1443

http://www.lindybop.co.uk/dresses-c1/cindy-popularly-pretty-polka-dot-print-vintage-50s-party-dress-p977

http://www.lindybop.co.uk/dresses-c1/ella-beautiful-lavender-polka-dot-vintage-inspired-50s-prom-occasion-dress-p1222

http://www.lindybop.co.uk/dresses-c1/ella-beautiful-midnight-blue-polka-dot-vintage-inspired-50s-prom-occasion-dress-p1228

http://www.lindybop.co.uk/dresses-c1/gina-glamourous-golden-black-40s-50s-vintage-tea-party-dress-p972

http://www.lindybop.co.uk/dresses-c1/lana-elegant-vintage-inspired-50s-damson-party-prom-dress-p1288

http://www.lindybop.co.uk/dresses-c1/sally-may-burgundy-lace-swing-dress-p1647

Waves_and_Smiles

Not pathetic at all, Birdie! Although it is natural for family members to treat children they do sometimes forget that the adults might be making sacrifices themselves for their children's well-being and could do with a few useful items! Whenever I have friends with children I have always bought a little something for the parents too if I take a gift for a child. With one friend I bought her a pack of her favourite coffee for 6 months because it was one of the luxuries that had to go with another mouth to feed. It was a small gesture that only cost a few pounds but she really appreciated both having a treat for herself and that someone noticed mum as well as baby.

If you have been brought up being given things of course it will be upsetting when it stops and a little hurtful too. You aren't being pathetic at all.

Elsien, we need a Gitdog sunbathing pic!

Have fun with your friend tonight, Calley! They are coming to see you, not the house so don't worry about tidying up.

There are some lovely dresses on that site, code. I bet you can find one that you look amazing in. I love the burgundy swing dress, I love anything lacy.

Well, it's a miracle. I got my prescription without a single hitch. This is the first time in 6 months that nothing has gone wrong so perhaps we have turned a corner!

elsien

I wish I could wear dresses like that, but I'm the wrong shape and dresses always need altering. Long body, waist in the wrong place and no boobs.:(
I like the first one best, and then the lavender one.

Waves_and_Smiles

I don't wear dresses either, elsien. Mine always need altering because my boobs are so much bigger than the rest of me. If I get the right size up top I have loads of loose material at my waist which just looks ridiculously baggy.

codemonkey

Elsien - I have the opposite problem - short body (I always say if I were in proportion I'd be either 5'2" or 6'1"), high waist, giant boobs. Most dresses I own have a little give. The only dress that has ever fitted perfectly was my wedding dress which I didn't even need altered.

Was - you're a very considerate friend. I never thought of taking gifts for the adults but I will from now on. Who doesn't like presents?

Wellyboots6

Are these dresses for the wedding Code? They are lovely. I like the sage one and also the black and gold one.

Birdie, I don't think it is pathetic if it is what you are used to. My parents never really spent much on us so we always felt left out at school. Oddly though, they would buy things rather than show affection! Bearded one finds it funny that for baby they have bought us a pram and car seat and yet said they don't want to babysit etc whereas his family never really give us anything but they are very keen to babysit, come round to help out with baby if needed etc. His family did a lot of catering and setting up for our wedding, my family paid for stuff. I don't think you are ever supposed to understand parent logic!

Congratulations on the prescription WaS!

codemonkey

May I just say that I love that you are all picking different dresses. Does that mean I get to buy all of them?

Katy - you have the best of both worlds there. Financial and practical.

I find it odd now that as an adult, my dad is always trying to give me money, whereas, when I was younger, it was a different story. Parents are weird.

Birdie85

I have been admiring the black and gold one for a while Code! I think it is so chic and glamourous, I'd go with that one!

Thanks for being understanding ladies! DH looked at me like I had 2 heads when I was moaning last night but it is the sudden change in attitude that has me floored more than the material side. The treats all stopped as soon as I went back to work after DS. She still bought me odd things when I was on maternity leave as I didn't have any money but as soon as I went back to work it was like a switch flipped. I feel like sometimes she makes a point of treating DS to things as she doesn't like him in cheap clothes and using generic wipes etc but he doesn't care! It's hard enough being a Mum with people not caring so much about you as a person anymore, I didn't really expect my Mum to be the worst culprit!

codemonkey

Aww Birdie hugs. I do think people, especially grandparents do start to see you as almost, secondary, to their grandchildren. I remember my dad introducing my sister to people as 'the mother of my granddaughter' which upset her quite a lot.

I'm not sure what'she happened but there seems to be a general expectation at the moment that parents (and particularly mothers) must lose their identities as people and become only (insert child's name here)'s mummy. I've noticed it with a few of my friends - they post articles on Facebook about how you're a bad parent if you dare to do anything without your child. One my old schoolfriends posted a few months back, boasting that her and her OH hadn't had a single day without their kids or a night out in 5 years as they were such good parents that they wouldn't leave their children with anyone and the kids came first and all the comments were congratulating her on being so dedicated. I don't have kids so perhaps I just don't get it, but I thought it was just so sad that she seemed to have forgotten that she's a person with her own needs.

Eta: I'm not saying that you're like this Birdie, just a general observation on what seems to be happening at the moment.