Here we can all be heard for a little while

whitewing

I would really love a bowl of crumble and custard, so have it for me!

I have just spent an hour getting rid of some paperwork off the table where it has been hanging around.

Managed to seduce DH when he got back from work, while littlewing was glued to her Frozen DVD. We could hear her singing so no danger of interruptions!

I fell asleep for 3 hours afterwards, and was lovely and relaxed after.

DH wants me to go back on anti depressants. He knows I am not bad, just the occasional fleeting thoughts which I am slightly putting down to being tired. He has noticed that I am more inclined to watch 'depressing' TV and getting erratic with my daily exercise and craving rubbish food (although not actually acquiring much of it). My dilemma is that I have signed up for a couple of autism research projects and am worried that I won't be accepted if I am on medication. I have to send all the forms etc back, but need to send in details of my diagnoses. Blooming medical info is not where I thought it was so am going to have to search for it tomorrow.

whitewing

rj

Are you in Exmouth? We have had some lovely days out there on the beach and coast - never even made it into the town, but we may just be down your way in the next few weeks.

Well done for posting. It is a hard first step sometimes.

Can you go and visit your mum instead?

Wellyboots6

Hi RJ (is that OK?)

You feel how you feel, there is no should or shouldn't (said in a Mr Miyagi/Yoda manner).
Everyone here is very supportive, so post as much or as little as you like.

Hope noone has got too soggy today, I've checked the fort and we are still water tight!

rjhammond91

Hi Whitewing,

I am indeed in Exmouth - such a lovely place but so lonely at times.
The town isn't much to look at! Stick to the beach and the river exe.. it's beautiful.

Visiting my mum is something I've thought about.. problem is, we are literally the same person - stubborn, argumentative.. and both suffering with mental health - we just bounce off each other if we're in a bad mood..

I was hoping that if my mum came here that I'd have to take her out everyday and show her and my sister around so there wouldn't be a chance of being miserable (they've never visited before whereas I always go home).

I wonder if it's me expecting too much from people?

EDIT - saw your post Katy.

Hi Katy,

RJ is fine I appreciate it, thank you!

It's been such horrible weather today!!! We had nice weather yesterday while I had to revise for the Dispatcher test which I have to do if I want a chance of promotion at work!
x

whitewing

My DH sometimes doesn't talk to me when something is badly worrying him. Part of this is wanting to solve it himself. Part of it is because he worries about the effect it will have on me. Sometimes I think I must pick up on the vibe because his behaviour doesn't change but my anxiety increases and then a few days later, he will start having bad dreams and I can bring it up then and he'll talk it through. Talking it through doesn't always resolve it, but we have much more understanding that events are generally neutral and our reactions to them make them better or worse.

I guess I am trying to say, don't take it personally, even though it hurts to know he is hurting but also that he hasn't confided in you.

I used to think that my DH should come to me first about everything. I think it was the sense of deep sadness and loss that had been with me forever. Once I started to 'fill up', understand how my mh issues affected me and see patterns in the relapsing, I can decide what is healthier thinking and what isn't. I no longer believe that if I think it then it must be the true me. My thoughts are often badly formed coping strategies that were the best I could do growing up but can be tweaked now I am an adult with more experience.

whitewing

One thing I do that works very successfully most of the time for me is have a 'wishlist' but don't tie it down to particular times.

For example, I would have on my mental wishlist: mum and sister to visit. I would enjoy the daydreams/planning and have a good idea of things I could do, but I wouldn't set the date in stone in my head. Nor would I set my heart on doing everything in that visit. So if I had 6 potential places on the list to visit, I would be happy of we did one, but happier still if we did more and happy that I had a list to choose from. I always overplan and don't even add in rest time.

Plan your list on here if you like - it will be useful for me if I am down that way!

elsien

Are either/both of you getting professional support of any kind?

With regards to your OH, some people just go inside themselves when they're unwell. And maybe he didn't want to put more pressure on you - I can see why you're upset that he's kept quiet but clear thinking possibly isn't at the top of his list at the moment. When I'm upset I find talking to people close to me really difficult.

Can your mum rearrange to come soon?

rjhammond91

Whitewing, I had some plans of what I wanted to do with them.
As they live near Cardiff they're not massively near a beach (not a nice one anyway!).
I wanted to take them to Exmouth beach, walk around Orcombe point to Sandy Bay (one the far side of the beach).
Boat ride along the River Exe.
Crealy Leisure Park (as my sister is only 10 so I know she'd enjoy that).
Sidmouth Donkey Sanctuary.
Day to Paignton/Torquay - Quay West Water park and Living coasts (to see the penguins!).

There is so much to see and do near here - if you ever need ideas, give me a shout!

Hi Elsien,

I've not seen my doctor in regards to my mental health as I'm very scared that it'll affect my job.. My OH did go to the doctor and then decided he didn't want to be "falsely happy" by using anti-depressants.

Wellyboots6

I am definitely someone who goes inside themselves when I am not feeling well. I'm learning to talk more to hubby but it has taken practice. I don't like to upset him, drag him down too, make him feel he has to solve my problems etc. I also worry he would tell me I am just being daft, which he never would, but it is still a worry. Maybe your partner has similar thoughts?

Deffo shouldn't have had pancakes. Wide awake now. Last night I had some awful thoughts, with accompanying feelings. Today I don't have the feelings but can remember the thoughts. It's as though someone else thought it rather than me. Now driving myself potty trying to work out if I do actually agree with the thoughts or not.
Don't do sugar before bed kids!!

whitewing

I never felt 'falsely happy' on antidpressants. I felt what I assume to be 'normal' for someone who has grown up in a calm, loving environment. What a shame your DP feels like that about medication. (nb my extended family all have similar views to your DP's family about mh being 'weak').

rj, why don't you speak to the GP confidentially and find out a little more about the situation with your job. Alternatively is there a confidential helpline via your work where you can get advice? I often worried about things that turned out not to be relevant. There is a long way to go still with regard to mh issues but there has also been some good progress since I was your age.