Here we can all be heard for a little while

elsien

How will your job know you've been to the doctor? Just thinking that getting help earlier is more likely to stop your performance being affected in the long run, rather than struggling along.
If your OH doesn't want meds,can he discuss other options such as counselling or CBT? Or look into self help options. Is there an employee assistance programme either of you can talk to in confidence.
Hope you don't me suggesting it, but I've been there on the job front and for me I didn't realise how down I'd got before I got help.

rjhammond91

Yeah he might be thinking like that but unfortunately, he's screwed us. He's not gone to work for 3 weeks which has put his job at jeopardy.. and now he's getting really worried about not being able to afford his half of the rent and bills.

All the bills come out of my bank account so I'm worried he won't have enough money to give me the end of this month if work don't pay him in full.

He's just come home and has put Scary Movie 2 on - what a ridiculous film!!

EDIT

He's been travelling up to see the samaritans in Barnstaple whilst he was off work but if I'm honest, I don't think they'll be able to help long term.

I work for the NHS so there is quite a good assistance programme which I could use but I think I'll speak to my GP as my first port of call.

Wellyboots6

Elsien is right about doing what you can to get help before your work is affected. That way it can prevent work ever needing to know, or if they do need to know then giving you chance to prepare how you tell them, what support you request etc.
I had a job where they were brilliantly supportive once they knew, and it helped my mental health no end as they reduced pressure on me.

As far as I am aware antidepressants don't really make you 'happy' otherwise everyone would be taking them! With me they just gave me the chance to deal with some issues without being bogged down with feeling overly yucky.

Little Sod is having nightmares, poor baby He always has struggled with nightmares since I had him when he was 1. Dread to think what he dreams about

rjhammond91

I think it's time I get to bed! Otherwise, I'll end up staying in bed really late and i'll get nothing done tomorrow morning.

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate it!

Hope you all enjoy the rest of your evenings!
xx

whitewing

Would his parents be able to help him out financially?

I am slightly worried that your anxiety over this (and anyone would be anxious and furious) is going to escalate the situation really badly for you both with painful consequences.

Do you know if he is planning on going back in to work at all? Has, for example, his mother let his work know what is going on?

I wouldn't normally recommend this, but could you arrange an overdraft to give yourself space to work out a proper solution. I would be surprised if he got full wages but I really don;t want to worry you.

Maybe you could set up a thread on the debt free wannabe board to help you with contingency planning. A lot of people there will have experienced similar situations in the past.

For me, panic is really contagious.

How did you find out in the end that he wasn't going to work?

whitewing

What have the Samaritans suggested to him about handling the work situation or has he been so bad that it has just been about getting him through the next minute?

I should think that the fact that he has been seeing the Samaritans would help his case that he is poorly/out of character, rather than simply not helping himself.

Could he work some reduced hours for a bit?

Do you know if anything triggered his depression?

Flybaby

anybody about? Nightmares are so bad I have given up trying to sleep. Every time, no matter the scenario, I cannot do what it is I need to do be it communicate a message, finish a report in time, shoot the bad guy, jump the fence.............whatever the crunch point is, at the critical moment, I fail. I try really hard not to analyse my nightmares most of the time, but can't help but feel that spending the entire night dreaming of failing - it's no wonder my confidence is in tatters in waking life. I've done counselling, talked through loads of childhood carp etc etc thinking it would "help" but to no avail - I still nightmare constantly. I feel like life's punchbag, like the universe is having a joke at my expense to see at what point I will crack.

calleyw

Yep little old me.

I don't get nightmares but occasionally remember my dreams. Had one the other day that freaked me out a bit. My teeth started falling out. Firstly it was a whole tooth. Then I kept coughing and had slivers of teeth coming out. No idea what that means LOL!!!!

Its a little bit windy and wet outside this morning. Think it might dry up later according to the met office.

Yours

Calley

Flybaby

Thanks for replying - so needed a little human contact (Ahh the irony - but you get my meaning). how you feeling now?


Wet and windy here too and I missed countryfile last night, so I have no idea of the weather for this week

calleyw

Flybaby wrote: »

Thanks for replying - so needed a little human contact (Ahh the irony - but you get my meaning). how you feeling now?


Wet and windy here too and I missed countryfile last night, so I have no idea of the weather for this week

I know what you mean. Some days I just don't want to deal with people in RL and just want someone to chat to on-line.

I am shattered but fine thanks.

I use the met office for my weather seems to fairly accurate as you can get and they do a 5 day forcast. http://www.metoffice.gov.uk

Being reading a lot about happiness. And one of the things that keep recurring is to focus on the here and now and not the past or the future.

Yours

Calley