is my husband hiding money?

Guest101

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Email??????????

Hardly an effective tool...

Guest101

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

Surely rent is one of the biggest bills if not the biggest so if you are paying this and he is just paying for utilities on a full time wage it sounds like he is getting off easy. Why can you not both sit down and both declare income and add child tax credits (what about child benefit?) and then work out outgoings and split the difference so you both have the same amount of personal expenditure? Do you have a problem with communicating with each other?

Single biggest perhaps.

But a family of 6 will spend more than £630 on all the rest of the bills, food, utilities, cars, loans and entertainment

Guest101

BigAunty wrote: »

Those with good knowledge of the benefits system on the benefits board have raised doubts that her CTC would have been slashed that severely with the pay rise that he said he received.

In other words, they wonder if he's lying, though an overpayment of CTC in the past would reduce the sum due by a larger degree so that might be the case. That innocent scenario has been flagged, too.

She has been shut out of quite basic shared housekeeping duties - she has no idea what her partner earns, nor what he spends on bills. Unless she indicates differently, it looks like she gets no access to bills or bank statements which is fairly unusual in this day and age of shared accounts and financial transparency. The CTC would have been a joint application and yet still she has been kept in the dark.

And she is adamant that her partner would rather see the children homeless than pay more towards the rent - that's bloody scary.

So it's not just purely about whether or not he is retaining an unequal share of household income at her expense, but that he dominates her at the household level and would rather inflict misery on his family than increase his share of contributions.

Ignoring the fact she started working last year and tax credits use p60 to work out the payments, and we're in may just after p60's have been issued?

Her income had raised by over £5k, his £450 is probably accurate.

OP by chance is he public sector as lower bands just got a pay rise of about that ( agenda for change did anyway)

BigAunty

Guest101 wrote: »

Presumptuous. No evidence for this.

And no evidence that he's not.

Seems the OP only wants him to be transparent and work out a way to better manage their finances. Hardly a big ask in this day and age. Most couples already so what she seeks.

ecgirl07

PasturesNew wrote: »

Get him to come clean and draw up a budget.

His wages + CTC is the household income.... and it needs to be divvied up correctly and fairly so it can be used for what it's intended to be used for. It's HIS responsibility to keep you .... not for you to rob the remainder of the CTC from the pot.

Plus her £94 per wages into the pot. Op you should talk about clubbing all income and subtracting all bills then seeing whats left for spending.

If he is not keen on that put the ctc/child benefit in his name and have fund the kids from it!

Guest101

So guilty until proven innocent?

Email is hardly effective at expressing such a desire. Especially since the OP is basically annoyed that on top of her increased earning she is upset that she didn't get the £80 from the state that she's used to.

The most ironic thing of all, posters have described the husband as expecting a maid with benefits.

Not suggesting that as she works part time, she should expect to carry out a larger share of the house work.

Whilst the husband who's covering a larger portion if the household expenses is vilified as a lazy so and so, despite earning a reasonable wage, presumebly full time, and managing the majority of the finances so that there is no hardship for the family.

And the op still get £60 a month just to herself.

So work 14(ish) hours a week, get 15% of your wage as personal spends, everything else is paid for by either husband or tax payer.

And then complain about it?!

Madness

cte1111

Everyone is different in how they manage their finances, but it is important that both partners are happy with whatever method they use. It sounds like the OP was struggling with the previous set up so got a job to help contribute more and have some extra money for her own needs. This is perfectly reasonable but owing to not having the complete picture, and perhaps also not updating the tax credits soon enough, this hasn't really materialised.

To move forward, it does sound like it would be a good idea to sit down together and go through all the income and outgoings to work out how best to manage the finances together. I'd suggest trying not to do this in any kind of blaming situation but just to ensure that they both have the full picture,so that they know that the information they are giving to the tax credits is accurate from now on. This should help them both realise where the household income is going and if there is anywhere they could cut back, and hopefully when the loans will be paid off, they will all have a bit more spare money.

Guest101

ecgirl07 wrote: »

Plus her £94 per wages into the pot. Op you should talk about clubbing all income and subtracting all bills then seeing whats left for spending.

If he is not keen on that put the ctc/child benefit in his name and have fund the kids from it!

She's not funding the kids.

Or do kids not want or need utilities & food? A car? To have a debt free family? Tv?

OPs husband must be at wits end. His wife is getting more than last year, so financially better off. Rent presumebly stayed the same. So...

ecgirl07

Guest101 wrote: »

She's not funding the kids.

Or do kids not want or need utilities & food? A car? To have a debt free family? Tv?

OPs husband must be at wits end. His wife is getting more than last year, so financially better off. Rent presumebly stayed the same. So...

I was being a wee bit facetious in the last bit. As a couple sitting down and going through a mse statement of affairs listing all bills from rent to birthday presents to cars etc and seeing whats left from all income would do no harm.

Guest101

I agree it's what they should do.

The thread as been filled with anti husband posts though. Which by and large seem unwarranted.

Yes he could've said he got £450 extra. - but after tax it's not a huge amount.

Yes they could do a household budget, - he's bringing in more and spending more already.

We should remember the OP isn't saying he spends more on himself, but rather is he hiding it away? - well he seems to have enough brain cells to balance a large number of costs and debts etc - it would be a safe presumption that any cash he's hiding away is actually paying off more of the debt. ( though I doubt he has much left)