is my husband hiding money?

Guest101

No one bothered to read that- because he's a man

PasturesNew

The trouble is the way you view the money. His wages aren't "his" and the CTC isn't "yours".

You shouldn't be trying live on it, or pay rent.

He's not pulling his weight and, frankly, taking the p155. He's living the life of riley, having a "housekeeper with sex" on tap.

Get him to come clean and draw up a budget.

His wages + CTC is the household income.... and it needs to be divvied up correctly and fairly so it can be used for what it's intended to be used for. It's HIS responsibility to keep you .... not for you to rob the remainder of the CTC from the pot.

kingfisherblue

How does the cost of what your husband pays for compare with the cost of what you pay for? Rent/mortgage is usually the largest outgoing of all, and even when you add other bills together, they might not be as high a cost as the rent.


How much does your husband have for his personal needs each week?

Guest101

kingfisherblue wrote: »

How does the cost of what your husband pays for compare with the cost of what you pay for? Rent/mortgage is usually the largest outgoing of all, and even when you add other bills together, they might not be as high a cost as the rent.


How much does your husband have for his personal needs each week?

Rent seems to be about £500 a month- if I've read the OP right.

Husband pays council tax: £120ish, loans: x?, food (for 6): £300?, car ?, bills: £200?, sky/bb: £60?

Sounds like a lot more than the rent...

PasturesNew

Guest101 wrote: »

Rent seems to be about £500 a month- if I've read the OP right.

Rent is £145/week, which is £630/month.

thorsoak

So your £14 week = just over £60 a month. How much are your travel costs to get to work 3 evenings a week? £60 is not a bad amount to have to spend just on yourself, to be honest - I know I'm not a young mum, but its more than I can budget to spend on toiletries, hair, nails, clothes etc.

In my marriage, we both knew what the other was earning, and what we could each have as personal "spends" - ie OH's cigarettes (when he smoked) - and my magazines etc. Talk to OH, make sure that you are both aware of what your commitments are.

FBaby

I read your post on the benefit forum.

It is difficult to advise because there is a lot of information missing. For one, how much is your rent? Big difference depending on where in the UK you reside. Then if I recall, you said on the other threads that he was paying debts. How much?

It is likely that if your TC didn't reduce last year despite you starting work, you now are paying for a reduction + repayment for last year, so that would be the reason why it has gone down. On this basis, it should go up a bit more next April.

As for your husband, only you can find out if he is controlling your financial position or not. My OH and I have separate financial accounts, and I don't know exactly how much he has in his accounts and vice versa, however, we know how much we earn, we worked out who paid what so that in the end, our disposable income was similar and most importantly, if I was to ask him any question relating to money, he would answer me and wouldn't hesitate a second to review who paid what if I or he thought there was an imbalance.

Your OH might be a bit surprise if you are suddenly asking questions when you were happy to leave it to him before, but he should understand why you are asking and be totally open to discuss it. If he gets defensive about your sudden interest in the family finance, I would start to get concerned.

PasturesNew

thorsoak wrote: »

So your £14 week = just over £60 a month. How much are your travel costs to get to work 3 evenings a week? £60 is not a bad amount to have to spend just on yourself, to be honest

I agree with this thinking re the figures.... but the real issue (as I see it) here is the husband isn't suffering to this degree (probably) ... and it's the general imbalance in the relationship that's the real issue, not the actual amounts.

Mojisola

PasturesNew wrote: »

His wages + CTC is the household income.... and it needs to be divvied up correctly and fairly so it can be used for what it's intended to be used for.

This ^

You need to make a list of all the household expenses every month and add up all the incomings.

Pay off all the essential bills plus an amount for your and his personal spends, savings for clothes, children's clubs, holidays, etc. If there is anything left, start a rainy day fund.

If you collect all the information and put a Statement of Affairs on the debt-free board, you'll get advice about how to cut your outgoings.

gettingtheresometime

Tbh it sounds like it could be a number of things:

- he's a scrooge

- he has a problem that's taking all his money whether it be gambling or a debt problem that you don't know about

- he genuinely can't contribute anymore (do you know what the bills that he pays amounts to?)

Time I think for a frank look at your finances together