Can't find a partner in/around same/similar area

catoutthebag

justme111 wrote: »

you want it all and you want it now.. then wonder why does not it happen .. widening search criteria is not the answer . changing mindset is

How profound! Oh enlightened one.

catoutthebag

SailorSam wrote: »

That depends how easy it is for you to get those 30/40 miles.
I had a women write to me on PoF who lives about 35mls away. We swapped messages and she seemed nice but i don't like driving more than local. Now only last night she wrote again 'cos we hadn't talked for a few weeks.

She sounds bored and searching for attention after her reserve blokes stopped messaging her.

35-40 miles is no distance short term

Longer term when it gets more serious, there has to be an end point. Someone will have to move and be happy to do so and not be bitter or hold it against the other person and set up life again. That's the hard part. Been there.

happiness.v4

Copying and pasting this message from another post as I really do swear by this...

Get yourself logged on to https://www.meetup.com - get yourself out there meeting some new people. I signed up in February...all of a sudden I have a social life, I'm meeting new people, I'm going for drinks, walks, meals out, bowling, to ice creameries, on photo walks...you name it! All my coupled up loved up sprogged up friends who ditched me for the loves of their lives are now envying the fact I have a social life again...

...and guest what? 90% of people who go there are single.... It's getting me out the house, I'm making new friends, and I'm meeting a few more people of the opposite sex at the same time....

It's really worth doing, and a lot of the activities are free or a £1 or £2 contribution to the organiser....

Please give it a whirl....

Good luck xx

missprice

catoutthebag wrote: »

I think the other thing is: I kinda know what I like, not only physical characteristics but emotional too. I know what makes me tick. I see that as a positive : knowing what one likes and wants.

And all my life I would say I prefer a tall partner at least 6ft preferable taller even, because I ain't exactly short myself.
And who turns out to be the love of my life, only someone 5 inches shorter than me.

Its those pesky parameters you make for yourself, they are missing out too many possible matches.

catoutthebag

missprice wrote: »

And all my life I would say I prefer a tall partner at least 6ft preferable taller even, because I ain't exactly short myself.
And who turns out to be the love of my life, only someone 5 inches shorter than me.

Its those pesky parameters you make for yourself, they are missing out too many possible matches.

Is that like a jamie cullum and Sophie Dahl

Absolutely agree. Think I read on someone's profile something like 'weird how many people we're neglecting who'd we actually like and get on with in person'.

Agree and we're all guilty of it to an extent. Me, I'm no giant so height is a parameter for me. That and generally being a bit picky. I know from past relationships, the characteristics I like and dislike. By going on dates I have further validated this, but at least I feel I'm trying and being proactive.

Retroguyuk

There's nothing wrong with being picky (unless you're subconsciously nitpicking trivial things in some kind of self sabotage of course). But, you have to realise, the more selective you are, the longer it's going to take to find someone who you think is ideal.

I get the impression from your initial post that you think you should have found someone by now. That's not really how it works- there's no 'it will take x amount of months'. You'll have a much better, and enjoyable, time of dating if you keep it going but don't expect it to bring about results in a set time frame.

If you see being single as a problem you need to fix by a certain date, it puts pressure both on yourself and also any prospective partners. Keep doing other things in your life (like meet up groups that others have suggested), enjoy it, and carry on the dating, and hopefully you'll meet someone sooner rather than later. I don't believe in the old 'you'll find it when you stop looking for it' idiom, but it definitely helps to have a positive outlook on life and be enjoying it now rather than thinking that you'll enjoy it when you find the right person.

SailorSam

missprice wrote: »

And who turns out to be the love of my life, only someone 5 inches shorter than me.

Did you find that difficult, at least at first. People generally expect a man to be taller so were you very conscious of the difference when walking down the road together ?

missprice

SailorSam wrote: »

Did you find that difficult, at least at first. People generally expect a man to be taller so were you very conscious of the difference when walking down the road together ?

Oddly no I didn't. One of my kids laughed when they met him, I think it was same reason, just absurd to see me with someone so noticeably shorter. But no I never been conscious of the difference otherwise.
But generally he is a good sport about his lack of height. and the jokes made by others.
In fact he is an all round good guy bless his cotton socks

SailorSam

missprice wrote: »

Oddly no I didn't. One of my kids laughed when they met him, I think it was same reason, just absurd to see me with someone so noticeably shorter. But no I never been conscious of the difference otherwise.
But generally he is a good sport about his lack of height. and the jokes made by others.
In fact he is an all round good guy bless his cotton socks

Why i asked, i'm only little and a woman who sent me a message on PoF is 5" taller. I told her she was to big for me but she said maybe years ago people thought that, but today it's not that important.
We still write.

missprice

SailorSam wrote: »

Why i asked, i'm only little and a woman who sent me a message on PoF is 5" taller. I told her she was to big for me but she said maybe years ago people thought that, but today it's not that important.
We still write.

Height is not a thing anymore, like the older you get, the less the age gap matters.
Why not give dating her a try if she still wants to. Nothing to lose any possibly everything to gain.