Can't find a partner in/around same/similar area

catoutthebag

Ozzuk wrote: »

Do you have a local Meet Up group? I was told mine wasn't for dating but everyone was at it!

Funny you mentioned that. Yes. Joined one a few weeks back. I know friends who have been on them years. You're right - everyone appears single. I have been on 2 social meets and 1 hobby. I don't know why but there's a level of apathy with them for me - I have friends and have done social groups before. Some blokes are just sharking around the women which is quite sad and obvious.

I also find the number of groups and events overwhelming.

But will try to get to more things this summer.

catoutthebag

enjoyyourshoes wrote: »

I think this is a really important point.


Dating must have psychological effect on you ant the other. if you just forget about the dating tag and enjoy what you like enjoying a do a bit of 'try everything once except incest and folk dancing' , then you will feel better about yourself, enjoy life, be yourself not someone wh is dating) and then it might click or not !! ??

I think you're right.

PenguinOfDeath

catoutthebag wrote: »

Out of those, I have met 4 from my city but 2 were not from there originally. The others were in the same county up to 30 miles away and 3 from complete different cities.

I'm confused, why does this matter?

catoutthebag

It doesn't matter per se.
I am just pointing out the stats.
They are effectively passers by and if they were not to happen on my city, that would have made only 2 originally from the same city, which would have further validated my original point - that I don't seem to find my match within same area and have had greater success outside it.

FBaby

Fair point. I think my standards or expectations are high. But I think you can't settle for anyone. At least I don't settle for anyone.

Then you can't expect to find Mrs Right within a particular timescale. Expectations will be in direct correlation with how long you are likely to find the right person.

Been there and it took me 5 years to find my Mr Right because of my expectations. I had moments when I told myself I needed to lower them if I didn't want to end up alone, but somehow I was prepared to do so, preferred to be alone than to settle for less and then have to pick up the pieces. Time was on my side, he finally appeared in my inbox and it was love and bliss from then on.

catoutthebag

It's good to hear that you're someone who doesn't just settle for anyone. Hopefully I don't have to wait 5 years! !

Guess patience is key.

I'm in my very early 30s with my own hair and teeth so feel age is on my side too

Haven't really thought if I want or do not want children, so that's not a pressing factor too at least.

Gloomendoom

I would have thought that if your only criterion is that Mrs Right has to live in the same city as you, you should be on to a winner.

A friend of mine had a "must have" list as long as my arm. Everything from hair colour and favourite cartoon character to the brand of tea she must drink.

As far as I am aware, he is still single. Haven't seen him in a bit.

arbrighton

Jeez, it took two years from meeting my now OH to us getting together, with neither of us really intending it to happen, and we were then 100 miles plus for about 3 years. We're about to marry and have been together 10 years

lulalola

I was on dating sites for several years and shared your frustrations at being able to find anyone suitable locally. Then I realised I was becoming too fixated on the sites - I've always been picky, but the settings allowed me to be uber-picky about age, characteristics etc., and to effectively disregard anyone not within those parameters without even talking to them. I stopped looking, and a few weeks later I met someone in a pub. He's not in the age range I was looking for online and he doesn't meet the "criteria" I had set - if he'd been on a site he wouldn't even have popped up in my matches - but a year later we are very much in love and he's the best thing that's happened to me in recent years. By all means keep using the dating sites, but be open to meeting people in other ways too, where you actually get to give them a chance as a person first.

catoutthebag

Gloomendoom wrote: »

I would have thought that if your only criterion is that Mrs Right has to live in the same city as you, you should be on to a winner.

A friend of mine had a "must have" list as long as my arm. Everything from hair colour and favourite cartoon character to the brand of tea she must drink.

As far as I am aware, he is still single. Haven't seen him in a bit.

I have neither said or implied that 'living in the same city is the only criteria'.