How far along were you when you told people you were pregnant?

carlislelass

12 wks with the 1st, got pregnant again but had a miscarriage at 6 wks. when I got pregnant again we told no_one until 16 wks.

sunshine81

With our first, it was about 7 weeks for parents and siblings and 12 weeks for everyone else.

This time it was 12 weeks before we told anyone, one big reason being OH's brother had just announced his girlfriends pregnancy so we wanted them to have a bit of 'glory' if you like.

Cath_Ster

lulu_92 wrote: »

Thanks everyone I spoke to him last night but nothing has come of it.

I just want us both to be happy when we tell people and not just because the other one decided when we as a couple would announce it.

My friends would not be annoyed at all that I didn't tell them right away as they understand OH's reasons for being quiet about these kinds of things.

His only main reason is that he doesn't want people at work asking him about it everyday. My argument is that this will happen once the baby is born so a couple of extra months shouldn't hurt, plus he doesn't have to tell anyone anything he doesn't want to.

At the moment my desire to tell people has been overtaken by a fear of the worst happening. I'm currently trying to get OH to let me book an early scan for the end of the month, but I doubt he'll go along with it.

Congratulations lulu, I'm so pleased for you! I remember we both joined the TTC thread about the same time so nice to see you graduating

We told our parents and best friends at 6/7 weeks, and everyone else at 12/13 weeks.

I don't think your OH's work will ask every day to be honest - it will be big news for a while and then the hype will die down.

I wanted an early scan too and my OH was against it, more because of the cost than anything. I basically told him that I was going to be worrying (and annoying him!) every single day until 12 weeks unless we had it done - and at 6 weeks 12 weeks seemed a long time away!! Eventually he gave in I agree with LilElvis though, the private scan was in a much better environment than the NHS one, we got loads of pictures included in the cost and we were in there for a good while just staring at the baby! We got ours done at BabyBond. Try and hold off as long as you can though as there is more chance of them finding the baby then - it's so small right now! Ours was done at 9 weeks and it was more of a squiggle than anything but definitely there

You need to be making decisions together and while there is always going to be one of you compromising, you should both be happy with the final decision. In my first trimester my OH and I were constantly arguing about the baby - whether it was when to tell people, when to decorate the nursery, when to start buying stuff, etc - but once we really understood the others feelings it made decisions a lot easier.

GwylimT

Our first died at around 6 weeks but we didn't know until the 12 week scan.

With our daughter we told people after our second scan at 18 weeks.

Third died at 16 weeks so we hadn't told anyone.

Forth was terminated at 17 weeks as the brain stem hadn't formed, so no one has been told.

With our son it was clear from the 12 week scan that something wasn't right so we didn't tell anyone until 24 weeks when it could be determined what was actually wrong as he was unlikely to survive.

DigForVictory

lulu_92 wrote: »

I spoke to him last night but nothing has come of it.

Argh. Even the loveliest blokes can have you reaching for the frying pan. Not to fry him a light snack, either.

Deep calming breath, plan a meal you both enjoy & once you've got him strategically mellow, repeat the request that you be allowed to talk to a few someones and get an early scan. Although cath_Ster's spot on that right now you may get peace of mind but not much to see for the money, you can still scheme for a date you can both go to & eyeball your future.

You'll want to tell even more with a wad of photos in hand - and very possibly so will he. "Isn't technology wonderful?" is the only polite response to the assorted comments of 'we never had that' & there's no need to mention it was a private scan.

Hoping all is going steadily for you!

AmyTurtle

I don't understand why you can't at least tell your parents and maybe siblings as long as they are sworn to secrecy.
I have to be honest, your OH thinks people are more interested than they actually will be. When you announce a pregnancy it's big news for all of 5 minutes for anyone other than the parents to be and grandparents. People have their own lives and maintaining excitement for 9 months about your own pregnancy is impossible, other people certainly won't!!

lulu_92

Well we've decided on telling parents on 24th and friends will be after the 12 week scan. Just wondering how to get out of this theme park trip and a night out without giving it away (I've always been the one friend that is always at every event!) I'm going to drive to the night out so that's my excuse there.

He's come around to the scan more although I've said it still doesn't mean everything will be okay at the 12 week one and I think I'd be more upset after seeing it earlier.

OH has arranged for us to go and look at baby stuff to get an idea of costs and how much we can afford, which is very exciting. He is a good one bless him, he's just as worried as I am and handles it differently.

DigForVictory

Possible pretexts for abandoning theme park trip:
Suspect inner ear bug, been feeling a bit giddy, really do not fancy the rides.
Sudden tummy bug, (call from bathroom & add strategic flush)
Local outbreak of D&V? (If there is real one, stay at home & wash your hands like a Macbeth, but if just a phone call, again, strategic flush)
Sudden letter from planning which you have to reply to At Once while your temper is up?
Phone call from relative sounding utterly miserable so feel you have to put fun on hold & hold their hand by phone?
OH has evil man flu bug & you can't leave him? (You do have to be sure he's not got other plans first!)
Oops, double-booked, your Rigby & Peller fitting appointment clashes?
You aren't certain of you MMR status & don't want to risk measles? (works better if you were going to Disneyland)
"Wicked cramps, not fit for company" - if this ever becomes truth, yell for your OH & midwife!

Pick one, and brief OH, as he may be answering the phone for the evening.

AmyTurtle

I would just say on the day you really aren't well - OH can still go and just corroborate that you were up puking all night or whatever.

notanewuser

Why would you not go to the theme park?

I had to wait 4 days before telling DH as he was working away when I found out I was pregnant. I didn't believe it, so we had a private scan at 8 weeks. Once we knew all was well we told my parents, DH's parents and 4 siblings (plus partners) and asked them not to tell anyone else. That was too many people for me really to be honest.

I was a low carber but felt nauseous for the first trimester, which meant I had to hide my new "toast, crackers and jacket potato" diet from my colleagues, as they were bound to spot that! Once we'd had the 12 week scan I told my immediate colleagues and close friends. I waited until 25 weeks to formally inform work though as I CBA with all the extra risk assessments etc.

We only told parents when I went into hospital to be induced and asked that they keep that quiet too. I was 2 weeks overdue and had had enough of the constant texts and Facebook messages! DD was about 4 hours old when we told the world she'd arrived.