How far along were you when you told people you were pregnant?

DigForVictory

Oh course you wonder - and worry - it's all new & bless them the medics do very little other than say yes you're pregnant as they haven't the time to go through what might be worrying you.
Which is where family & friends come in. I understand your OH's horror of being interrogated daily, but you do need folks to talk to & the anonymous internet whilst a (daily better) start still isn't the whole answer.

This nice Aussie site is robust on tea - all your herbals are fine, just avoid builders tea as the caffeine isn't ideal.


Not polite to ask age but if you're still worrying about the stats, then what else are you worried might cause problems? Trouble shared & all. Under ordinary circumstances, miscarriage is a risk but not that common & even with not-ordinary circumstances, women have stayed pregnant & gone on to deliver healthy babies.

When do you get to see a midwife? As they do have more time & a blissful authority if you decide you're willing to trust them. Plead wth medics to see one soon, for the advice on smart food & drink choices, lifestyle (as in 'do try to quit smoking', not as in what colour nursery!) & the general reassurance.

The booking visit (hopefully a separate event) is 8-12 weeks in, and a hefty if heartening event - plan for a couple of hours for all the paperwork & bloods & your first attempt to pee into a narrow mouthed pot. (Ah, the skills you'll learn!)

I wish I could promise you all will be well, but I can assure you that this frightening time does pass & once passed, you *never* go back to being *that* lost & baffled & fretful & shoved around by your hormones again. Meanwhile, find your local library, pick out a book that makes you chuckle (rather than flinch) & read a bit.

Then defrost the freezer so you have no unidentified frozen objects lurking and better information on what you already have so you can start things like meal planning - OH may be getting some odd packed lunches as you ship stuff you shouldn't be eating out with him!

lulu_92

DigForVictory wrote: »

Oh course you wonder - and worry - it's all new & bless them the medics do very little other than say yes you're pregnant as they haven't the time to go through what might be worrying you.
Which is where family & friends come in. I understand your OH's horror of being interrogated daily, but you do need folks to talk to & the anonymous internet whilst a (daily better) start still isn't the whole answer.

This nice Aussie site is robust on tea - all your herbals are fine, just avoid builders tea as the caffeine isn't ideal.


Not polite to ask age but if you're still worrying about the stats, then what else are you worried might cause problems? Trouble shared & all. Under ordinary circumstances, miscarriage is a risk but not that common & even with not-ordinary circumstances, women have stayed pregnant & gone on to deliver healthy babies.

When do you get to see a midwife? As they do have more time & a blissful authority if you decide you're willing to trust them. Plead wth medics to see one soon, for the advice on smart food & drink choices, lifestyle (as in 'do try to quit smoking', not as in what colour nursery!) & the general reassurance.

The booking visit (hopefully a separate event) is 8-12 weeks in, and a hefty if heartening event - plan for a couple of hours for all the paperwork & bloods & your first attempt to pee into a narrow mouthed pot. (Ah, the skills you'll learn!)

I wish I could promise you all will be well, but I can assure you that this frightening time does pass & once passed, you *never* go back to being *that* lost & baffled & fretful & shoved around by your hormones again. Meanwhile, find your local library, pick out a book that makes you chuckle (rather than flinch) & read a bit.

Then defrost the freezer so you have no unidentified frozen objects lurking and better information on what you already have so you can start things like meal planning - OH may be getting some odd packed lunches as you ship stuff you shouldn't be eating out with him!

I'm 22 by the way I'd rather not go into my main concern as it's rather private for a public forum and involves OH more than me, but I worry for his sake. I don't know, part of me just expects the disappointment, even though I'm trying to be so positive.

I see the midwife at 10 weeks for everything, and OH and I have booked the whole day off

Finding out early hasn't helped, my doctor made sure of that by telling me that because I found out so early (4+3) that I could still have a miscarriage that I wouldn't have otherwise known of. He kept talking about the dangers, which I get I need to know about, but he did take the excitement out of it a fair bit.

jjj1980

lulu_92 wrote: »

Finding out early hasn't helped, my doctor made sure of that by telling me that because I found out so early (4+3) that I could still have a miscarriage that I wouldn't have otherwise known of. He kept talking about the dangers, which I get I need to know about, but he did take the excitement out of it a fair bit.

I also had this from my doctor as I was seen the day after I found out, at just 3.5 weeks. He was very dismissive and told me to he would book me in for a dating scan at around 8 weeks but to not get my hopes up that it would actually happen.


Try not to worry, I know it's easier said than done but everyone here will be cheering you on!!

Claire_A87

I had an appointment with a very lovely doctor when coming off the pill who as kindly as she could manage essentially told me not to make an appointment straight away after a positive test, because alot of women have chemical pregancies/MMCs/early miscarriages etc.

I sort of ignored her and saw the midwife at 7 weeks & had my booking in appointment at 9 weeks. It didn't feel real until I saw someone.

Doctors are just trying to keep your feet on the ground, but it does take the wind out of your sails a bit

Bluegreen143

Congrats lulu!! I'm SO happy you've graduated from the TTC thread!

I'm now 9+5 and have told most people after originally wanting to keep it quiet lol. Told my mum, stepdad + sister at just under 5 weeks, and MIL as well, then gradually told close friends and OH's siblings as we saw them. Told my grandparents last weekend. My manager now knows but not officially telling work til after my scan on 26th May. Less close friends and more distant relatives will be told (either by text or when we do a facebook announcement) after our scan and I've told work. It was all too exciting to keep properly secret lol!

Crabapple

I think the advice on keeping it to people you would tell in any event is the best one tbh. Don't spread things too widely but talk to those closest to you.

We didn't tell anyone about my eldest until after the first scan, so 12 weeks and then we told immediate family and close friends. I didn't tell work (aside from one close colleague) until I was gone 20 weeks.

2nd pregnancy we didn't tell anyone either, and it sadly ended in early mc about 10 weeks although they said the baby stopped developing about 6. We then told one friend who I knew had been through the same and could help be someone to talk to.

My littl'un we told a couple of people the day after I found out. Totally different situation, he was a surprise pregnancy and I'd accepted a new job on the friday, found out I was pregnant on the monday, and needed to know what to do!

lulu_92

Crabapple wrote: »

I think the advice on keeping it to people you would tell in any event is the best one tbh. Don't spread things too widely but talk to those closest to you.

That is quite a few people, to be honest, some of those are people OH doesn't want to tell for a while.

I do wish I could share this happiness with others, though.

I don't want anyone to think that I'm being selfish because I want to tell and OH doesn't.

pinkshoes

With my first I told work and friends and family after the 12 week scan.

When I found out I was pregnant a second time, I told work and close friends quite early, but then found out at 12 week scan that the baby had died, so had to break the news to anyone I had told.

I would only tell people earlier than the 12 week scan that you don't mind having to also tell if something goes wrong.

wendz86

So pleased for you Lulu. I told close friends family quite early on with first two pregnancies. Then told everyone else at 12 weeks. Sadly we had a loss at 16 weeks with second pregnancy which made me a bit more reserved this time around. I still told close friends and family quite early as they were so supportive during loss but didn't tell work till about 16 weeks and have kept it off Facebook.

nanto3girls

It's been that long since I was pregnant,i can't remember when we told people.