OH hates my new accent...

downhillfast

Lily-Rose wrote: »

These 3 ^^^ (And as usually purpleshoes and thorsoak are the voice of reason! :T) And Mojisola is absolutely right too!!! She IS rude and prejudiced - and her 'condition' is no excuse.

Haven't read all the thread: only the first page, but I have to say, this woman sounds an utter nightmare. Why on earth you have tolerated it for nine years, just baffles me. I couldn't be in the same room as someone like this. Sorry and all that: just I have very low tolerance for people who use a 'condition' as an excuse to be rude and obnoxious.

I wish you well OP, but have no answers, other than she needs a short shrift from you - or SOMEone!

I am not saying to write her off, or leave her, but someone needs to put their foot down with her and tell her that her behaviour needs to change. And to QUIT the excuses.

Already covered and explained - yawn... there are a lot of people on here with a hair trigger...

lostinrates

downhillfast wrote: »

I totally appreciate that she needs help... I just know her very well and know that unless there is some treatment available that doesn't just involve avoidence and coping strategies then she will struggle to throw herself into it. Getting her to relax during this latter stage of pregnancy has been hard enough as she is a total work-aholic... the idea of any kind of relaxation, yoga healthy-mind-type-stuff is completely lost on her. The idea of any type of talking therapy ... almost impossible for her to contemplate as she won't see instant results...

I find the idea of talking therapies hateful personally.

However, there is no doubt in my mind that in the past or now, meditation, mindfulness, yoga, grit, good manners, self flagellation and all manner of relaxation or self discipline techniques ( yes, potentially opposing forces!) indispensable in their transferable skills.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

LIR doesn't bully anybody. .

Too much credit maybe. I am not trying to pretend I don't feel cross. Tea lover's description is accurate to the feelings created, and it am not perfect. I have asked my partner not to be forgiving of me, and to draw my attention to the fact if I am going bug eyed or edgey. . Its not EASY always to suck it up, but the more you do the easier it is, generally.

downhillfast

Errata wrote: »

OP I think you need to chat to the GP about your wife's OCD and self diagnosed misophonia. Your child is due to be born very soon and often childbirth can worsen and even trigger psychological problems.
You've mentioned her irrationality over the way you speak; what might happen if she becomes irrational about something the baby does, or doesn't do?

Already explained that she somehow manages to tolerate pretty much anything a child does - in fact she deals with children on a daily basis with absolutely no need for social services to intervene! :eek::rotfl:

Lily-Rose_3

downhillfast wrote: »

Already covered and explained - yawn... there are a lot of people on here with a hair trigger...

Oh sorry, are people not saying what you want to hear?

You asked for opinions, and people gave them. No good throwing your toys out of the pram because people aren't saying what you want to hear.

Maybe you shouldn't post, asking for people's views on a PUBLIC message forum!

My opinion stands.

Errata

downhillfast wrote: »

Already explained that she somehow manages to tolerate pretty much anything a child does - in fact she deals with children on a daily basis with absolutely no need for social services to intervene! :eek::rotfl:

You've missed the point, she didn't give birth to them, with all that involves physically and pyscologically during and after giving birth.

FBaby

I can relate to this...to some extent. I do understand the feeling like you are being attacked when you hear a sound that gets to you. For me, it does feel like I've been slapped. It's hard to explain. Thankfully, it's not half as bad as it sounds like it is with your partner.

What I can say is that it has gradually got much worse for me, and I know for a fact that this is the result of a very busy mentally demanding job. I often feel like by brain is being stretched to its limits and at it's worse, I start getting a a mumbling headache and sometimes even start to feel sick. When I do, any noise that gets to me feels like torture. My kids have had to adapt and be quiet as the noise of kids is one of my worse. The other one on the top of the list is cackling women, especially when they get drunker. It is an issue when we go out to eat and I can't go out to pubs because of it. The irony of it is that I am actually suffering from a mild level of deafness.

Anyway, when I read your posts, I could help but wonder whether the demand of her job might also have something to do with your wife's condition, maybe not triggering it, but making it worse.

Saying that I do find it odd that you don't mention the condition affecting your wife until the end of your first post, but instead focussed on your accent and how she thinks it makes you thick. There is a difference between between being hurt by noise and having an issue about the perceived cultural standing of accents, the latter surely triggering little sympathy, even from yourself?

downhillfast

I think I need to TOTALLY CLARIFY something...

My wife is NOT VIOLENT

Does NOT have a split personality disorder

Does not go out of her way to upset people (me included!) on a daily basis.

99% of people that she deals with regularly (friends and colleagues) wouldn't even know she had a problem.

She does know she has a problem and tries to deal with it as best she can until she is ready to do something officially... which will be very soon hopefully.

Our relationship is very strong and I am not a victim of any kind of domestic abuse be it physical or verbal.


This thread has turned into a character assasination of my wife based on the SYMPTOMS of a condition that makes HER life awful is some respects.

I don't know why I even started this thread to be honest...

purpleshoes_2

No it hasn't. People are just trying to find out why she's so reluctant to seek help. Ive not character assassinated your wife in anything Ive posted, a couple of people have been sharp but that's the minority.

Errata

Does NOT have a split personality disorder

Of course she doesn't, nobody does, mostly because such a disorder doesn't exist.

FBaby

The problem is that the things you have written make it sound like it is a snobery issue, at least in addition to the other issue. If she is affected by certain noise, why not just say that the sound of your voice irritates her? What does her condition have to do with being bothered that it makes you sound 'thick'?

my OH has started interrupting me mid sentence to point out that I am sounding like a farmer

she says I sound 'thick', like a 'farmer'