OH hates my new accent...

purpleshoes_2

tomtontom wrote: »

But what does she need to try? I expect the problem is that they don't know where to go for help.

I did a Google search on misophonia and found misophonia UK, misophonia and the NHS plus other pages suggesting a range of treatments. Misophonia UK suggest a gp referral to a consultant who has knowledge of the condition

tomtontom

purpleshoes wrote: »

Misophonia UK might be a good place to start and there's also a website about Misophonia and the NHS along with some other treatments, cbt, support from audiology.

It is a good resource, but also shows how difficult it is to get help, especially on the NHS.

OP, are you able to go private? Even if just to get a formal diagnosis and advice on where to go next.

tomtontom

Mojisola wrote: »

If she manages not to be affected by children but cries in public at an adult doing the same thing, then she does have control over how it affects her and how she reacts.

You clearly have no idea what you are talking about. Maybe you could read up on the condition before passing judgement?

Stevie_Palimo

downhillfast wrote: »

I'm sure her hormones have got a little to do with it at the moment but I know her sensitivity to it won't change... as it hasn't with her misophonia (this has gotten progressively worse over the 9 years we've been together)

I'd bin her off for an upgrade to be honest and find someone that likes you whole heartedly.

Gloomendoom

Hoipolloi wrote: »

she liked your accent enough to make a baby with you afterall :beer:

That could just have been as a result of her misophonia...

Some even feel unwanted sexual arousal, caused by the over-activation of hormonal circuits

Source

wishus

Thanks for this downhillfast.
It's a run-in joke with us that some sounds can really upset my OH, and I had no idea it was possibly a condition! He's not too bad, though, and in fact has been getting much better recently.

At least he doesn't mind my West Midlands accent... too much...

balletshoes

downhillfast wrote: »

This is a condition that manifests itself in this way - she does not choose to behave like this.
She actually has a VERY responsible job that she is very well regarded in and manages to minimise any impact her condition has on her working life by avoiding eating with people she knows to trigger her issues (not ideal but that is how she deals with it currently)

if, in her job, she had a problem with someone's accent, would she have to tell them they sounded like a farmer, or they sounded thick, for example? If she can cope with that at work, I don't think theres any excuse for her being rude to you for the same thing.

Errata

Sounds like she has a serious problem, but it may not be the one she believes she has.

tea_lover

I do agree that there's no excuse for speaking to you the way she has. However, there seems to be a lot of misunderstanding here about misophonia and the effect it has on your state on mind.

It's like saying to someone with depression "well, you manage to turn up to work and get through the day so why can't you just cheer up at home". Sometimes holding it together outside of the home takes all of your reserves and it's your loved ones that bear the brunt. To repeat - I'm not saying that's acceptable, I'm saying it's understandable. Particularly when you add pg hormones into the mix.

It's hard to describe how some trigger sounds make me feel - it's a combination of pure rage and crawling ants under my skin. It's just awful.

lostinrates

downhillfast wrote: »

This is a condition that manifests itself in this way - she does not choose to behave like this. She actually has a VERY responsible job that she is very well regarded in and manages to minimise any impact her condition has on her working life by avoiding eating with people she knows to trigger her issues (not ideal but that is how she deals with it currently)

tomtontom wrote: »

You clearly have no idea what you are talking about. Maybe you could read up on the condition before passing judgement?

I am misophonic. I read what other misophonics write sometimes and get very upset both for their suffering and also for the excuses made for themselves/ their behaviour.

I have managed to get through social occasions without crying, without being rude to my spouse and people whose manners are well below normal not just normal yet noise irritating to me. I recognise my misophonia as MY issue and have developed coping techniques to manage.

Meals at our home are always taken with music playing if i am not eating alone. Vibrant discussion and debate are encouraged, so my brain is focused on things other than noise, and i try and ensure i sit some where with a good view. On the occasions it feels very difficult for me to cope because i am very stretched i don't eat with them. Sometimes i am able to sit and have a drink of water and chat loudly, other times i miss a meal, or take something quietly later. I cannot imagine sitting in tears and making other people feel bad about MY problem.

For me the issues are always harder at home than out, which does suggest an element of 'control' around them, or some thing to do with stress or relaxation or relationships. But its certainly not only that. The pitch of gas metres for example, is enough to set me on edge ( though not into fits) any where, some electrical noises etc.

I think a key difference is that at home its helpful to have some time to relax and be off guard against constant defence from noise attack.

However, there is a huge diffee nce between distaste for noise ( my misophonia is the typical biological noises, eating, breathing etc and man made noices ( equipent, road noise, beeps, buzzing, and....depressingly, electic wires / pylons in the rain:mad:, high pitched screams, teen alarms etc ) and having a go at your partner for his accent. An accent is different from pitch or timbre.

I find the more i 'pander' to my misaphonia the more irritable and unhappy it has the power to make me.