OH hates my new accent...

downhillfast

d70cw6 wrote: »

have you considered leaving her?

er NO! Thanks for the valuable input!

thorsoak

downhillfast wrote: »

I should have mentioned that the only tolerance she actually has is for children... so baby should be fine... as long as it develops to have impeccable manners!

Babies are not born with impeccable manners - frankly I would be extremely worried if this were my daughter, daughter in law!

downhillfast

Mojisola wrote: »

She really is rude and prejudiced! Does she really think that all farmers are thick? And she's including you and your family in the 'thick' category because of an accent?

If she doesn't get help, your child is likely to need a lot of therapy in years to come - what on earth is his/her childhood going to be like with a mother who can't mix socially, bursts into tears because of the way someone eats their food and blames her nearest-and-dearest for 'doing it deliberately' to upset her?

This is a condition that manifests itself in this way - she does not choose to behave like this. She actually has a VERY responsible job that she is very well regarded in and manages to minimise any impact her condition has on her working life by avoiding eating with people she knows to trigger her issues (not ideal but that is how she deals with it currently)

tomtontom

If she does have misophonia then much of the advice on this thread is way off - it's a horrible condition that leaves you with little control over your emotions. Many GPs won't have even heard of it, let alone know how to treat or diagnose it.

I don't know what the answer is OP, but I do empathise with both of you.

duchy

If my husband had the Brummie twang and it was changing to the softer East Midlands accent -I'd be pleased. To my (admittedly southern ) ears one is easier on the ear than the other.......and Southerners do tend to take the mick out of the Brummie accent more than most other accents if I'm honest.

Finding treatment might not be as easy as popping to your local GP but there is help available and it sounds like it's either getting worse or affecting the marriage more- both are good reasons to seek help.

purpleshoes_2

The only tolerance she has is for children? Well as a new mother she's going to come into contact with other adults that she doesn't know, nursery staff, childminders, teachers at school.

Irrespective of whether this is a condition that a gp can give much support with, she needs to try, for the child's sake more than anyone's.

tomtontom

purpleshoes wrote: »

The only tolerance she has is for children? Well as a new mother she's going to come into contact with other adults that she doesn't know, nursery staff, childminders, teachers at school.

Irrespective of whether this is a condition that a gp can give much support with, she needs to try, for the child's sake more than anyone's.

But what does she need to try? I expect the problem is that they don't know where to go for help.

purpleshoes_2

Misophonia UK might be a good place to start and there's also a website about Misophonia and the NHS along with some other treatments, cbt, support from audiology.

duchy

downhillfast wrote: »

This is a condition that manifests itself in this way - she does not choose to behave like this. She actually has a VERY responsible job that she is very well regarded in and manages to minimise any impact her condition has on her working life by avoiding eating with people she knows to trigger her issues (not ideal but that is how she deals with it currently)

So what would happen if one of her colleagues or clients had an accent that affected her the way yours is affecting her ?

It seems unlikely this has never happened to some degree unless she works in isolation - so are there any clues from that as to how she could modify her reactions to those she cares about too ?

Mojisola

downhillfast wrote: »

I should have mentioned that the only tolerance she actually has is for children...

downhillfast wrote: »

This is a condition that manifests itself in this way - she does not choose to behave like this. She actually has a VERY responsible job that she is very well regarded in and manages to minimise any impact her condition has on her working life by avoiding eating with people she knows to trigger her issues (not ideal but that is how she deals with it currently)

If she manages not to be affected by children but cries in public at an adult doing the same thing, then she does have control over how it affects her and how she reacts.