OH hates my new accent...

downhillfast

pollypenny wrote: »

As for 'undiagnosed misphonia ', are you sure she's just not a fusspot!

I wish she was! Bursting out crying at 33 yrs old at a family meal just because somebody made a noise she didn't like (nothing gross - just a chewing noise or something) is quite a bit more than being fussy. Eating out with her is always quite stressful as she can spot someone not chewing with their mouth closed from 100m out of the corner of her eye... and then can't stop looking and winding herself up. If I have a cold coming she can 'smell' it and it repulses her as she knows it will lead to a few days of sniffing (I do use a tissue obviously but some sniffling cannot be avoided with a cold!)... the list goes on...

downhillfast

onlyroz wrote: »

It's oh so easy to dismiss unusual conditions as "being a fusspot" or "nastiness". It's usually more productive to be supportive and to encourage the sufferer to seek help, if their condition is preventing them from leading a normal life.

She knows she has this condition but is very sceptical about treatment for this type of thing (she is a very black and white kind of person) she has said she will look into treatment once the baby is born but I suppose we'll just have to see if she goes through with it...

onlyroz

downhillfast wrote: »

She knows she has this condition but is very sceptical about treatment for this type of thing (she is a very black and white kind of person) she has said she will look into treatment once the baby is born but I suppose we'll just have to see if she goes through with it...

I found the advice here to be helpful when you encounter a situation that makes you feel anxious or panicky:

http://www.anxietycoach.com/overcoming-panic-attacks.html

thorsoak

downhillfast wrote: »

I wish she was! Bursting out crying at 33 yrs old at a family meal just because somebody made a noise she didn't like (nothing gross - just a chewing noise or something) is quite a bit more than being fussy. Eating out with her is always quite stressful as she can spot someone not chewing with their mouth closed from 100m out of the corner of her eye... and then can't stop looking and winding herself up. If I have a cold coming she can 'smell' it and it repulses her as she knows it will lead to a few days of sniffing (I do use a tissue obviously but some sniffling cannot be avoided with a cold!)... the list goes on...

...and she's pregnant? How is she going to be able to cope with a baby, who can scream, snuffle, puke and poo? And of course, who will cry if mum is upset?

She really does need to be addressing her condition now.

Mojisola

downhillfast wrote: »

She knows she has this condition but is very sceptical about treatment for this type of thing (she is a very black and white kind of person) she has said she will look into treatment once the baby is born but I suppose we'll just have to see if she goes through with it...

She absolutely should! Babies make all sorts of weird and unexpected noises - how is she going to cope with those, especially if she's at home alone with the noise-making machine?

If you know you have a problem, it's your responsibility to do something about it.

purpleshoes_2

Exactly, how is she going to cope with a crying child or a child who makes mess when they eat.

Its clearly having a massive impact on her life and yours and it will also impact on the child's life as well.

The accent will be the least of your worries soon I think.

duchy

Frankly if you and her family have allowed her to be rude to others for nine years without insisting she gets help for a condition that gives her problems both socially and at work (I assume as it's a condition rather than something she can stop herself doing when at work etc) then it's a bit hard to expect her to willingly get help andchange now .

It isn't your accent that is the problem -and if she knows it upsets you when she behaves so oddly then surely she'd be keen to get help. Maybe you need to be honest with her about how it affects you ?

If she can be rude to you about your accent (although why an East Midlands accent is worse than pure Brummie is another matter ) then surely you can be equally "blunt" in return ?

d70cw6

have you considered leaving her?

Mojisola

downhillfast wrote: »

However, over the last 6 months or so my OH has started interrupting me mid sentence to point out that I am sounding like a farmer - that is the accent she associates with where my family are from...

Now to most people this wouldn't be a massive problem but to my OH it's as if it's the end of the world - she says I sound 'thick', like a 'farmer'

duchy wrote: »

Frankly if you and her family have allowed her to be rude to others for nine years without insisting she gets help for a condition that gives her problems both socially and at work

She really is rude and prejudiced! Does she really think that all farmers are thick? And she's including you and your family in the 'thick' category because of an accent?

If she doesn't get help, your child is likely to need a lot of therapy in years to come - what on earth is his/her childhood going to be like with a mother who can't mix socially, bursts into tears because of the way someone eats their food and blames her nearest-and-dearest for 'doing it deliberately' to upset her?

downhillfast

thorsoak wrote: »

...and she's pregnant? How is she going to be able to cope with a baby, who can scream, snuffle, puke and poo? And of course, who will cry if mum is upset?

She really does need to be addressing her condition now.

I should have mentioned that the only tolerance she actually has is for children... so baby should be fine... as long as it develops to have impeccable manners!