Divorcing the debt and the fella.

NotNormal

kittycatfan wrote: »

Good for you have a blowout lol , i have four gorgeous friendly cats I love them so much and there very spoilt hope job centre wasnt to traumatic

I ended up having a lovely lady at the job centre, really friendly which helped so much. Only issue is when my anxiety hits that high it pulls all my other issues up, so when it shifts and lowers they all compete for attention. So I end up hyper and emotional and then just burn myself out. So basically went incredibly hyper, spent £38.60 or something in the supermarket (I guessed at £40 when we were at the till so I wasn't too far off lol). Unfortunately mostly was on crap that's now already been eaten but as I said I knew it wouldn't be the end of the world, a minor set back. I'm going to build a spreadsheet for the budget. Income, outgoings but with two columns - budgeted and actual spend. Then I can see where and when I'm overspending and help myself to curb it. But also it's hard seeing the budget and not seeing what has already been spent, making it harder to know where I stand. The spreadsheet SHOULD help with this. It will also help me calculate the following months expenses to a certain degree.

Anyway I massively burnt myself out and passed out around 5pm. I woke up not long ago. Guess I'll be up all night again. But on the bright side I have nothing booked into my schedule until next Wednesday. Although I do need to go do forms at the doctors and housing benefit/council tax forms soon.

I have hair dye in and I have about 6 inches of roots! So I think I need to dye my hair tomorrow.

Swagbucks - got it playing now. My very rough maths worked out it takes approx 3 and a half hours to reach the full 36 swagbucks via the app. But it's okay because you don't actually have to do anything, just stick it on and let it work. So I usually pop it on while I'm busy on here and just leave it to do it's thing.

Exercise - google maps said it was a 15 minute walk (about 10 minutes of that uphill) to the job centre. Well actually it took us 25, although we did stop for 5 minutes when my back was really hurting. So I walked 15 minutes uphill, rested for 5 minutes and then another 5 minute walk. We then walked around slowly for about an hour. It took us 5 minutes to get to the shop (ish). So lets check in with the myfitnesspal goals!! Daily goal was 20 minutes I did 85 and goal was burn 180 calories I hit 501!! Weekly goals were 60 minutes and 540 calories. So I am way ahead of target and only need to burn 39 more calories to hit my weekly target and it's only day one. Now don't get me wrong, I know I binged big time today. BUT my thought was... What if I make that my Wednesday routine? I'll meal plan over the weekend. Tuesday when I job search I will double check the meal plan and sort a shopping list. 25 minute walk uphill on Wednesday, 5 minute walk back to the supermarket. Then get the weeks groceries - I'll train myself to stick to the list!! Then depending on how much I have I may have to get a taxi home which is only about £4. But even doing that I will have hit almost similar to now! Meaning if I can stick with eating healthy/controlling the calories as well as doing that I'll be losing weight in no time! And hopefully lose some more debt while I'm at it.

Back when I used to shop in store I had a system. I would build my shopping list. I would then check the cashback apps to see if there was anything I normally use that I would like to add or something I wanted to substitute. Then I would use the mysupermarket website to work out what were the best value (instead of just price low to high, they offer price per unit low to high) and then round up the prices so if it's £2.50 I write £3, this just means I've always budgeted more as occasionally it's a teeny bit more expensive in store. Then I take my details list to store, then using the asda app I scan as I shop which goes into the basket like if you were buying online but it means it works out the total for you and alerts you of special offers. Then I'm less anxious as I know roughly what I'll be spending (:

I know this sounds really long and complex, but this is just a day in the life of me unfortunately. Then lengths I have to go to to function like a "normal" person. I do not go to shops alone. On the rare occasion it has to be done I have to have my headphones in. It's hard

NotNormal

liltdiddylilt wrote: »

Hey I finally caught up. Broke my heart to hear about the cat. Thank you from a former cat owner. If that had been my little lady I would have felt very comforted knowing that. Maybe you could walk a few streets around locally and see if any missing posters have been put up? There are always lots here

Well done on managing your money and debt. You've got your head screwed on if only you can control this urge to spend money and replace it with something else. I too have the issue with spending to make myself feel better. It was groceries for me, and my house would easily survive a 6 week snow-in :rotfl: - but I control it by budgeting everything down to the last Nth. Sad but true, I budget out pocket money to myself, but there are separate categories for takeaways with money either in or not in them depending if I can afford it. The same with clothes etc. I never allow myself more than £20 in the spending money pot and if I spend it, then feel like buying a nice top or something, I would wait until the following month unless I can make the money on fleabay.

Big hugs. You are dealing with a lot xx

Thank you. Sorry, what a post for you to come back to! I haven't seen any lost posters yet, but facebook is covered and it is spreading big time. So many incredible people are sharing my post, I had a bunch of people asking someone to help find me so they could send me a gift! I was shocked. So I added the group and commented to thank them all for their messages and to let them know the only gift I wanted was for them to continue to share in the hopes we could find the owners.

I think the thing that bugs me is the normal tactics won't work with me. NSDs? I have plenty. I only spend once a week. Budgeting? I have a lovely complex budget. BUT I struggle with processing information so when I look at my budget and see I have £50 to play with it's hard to know WHEN I have that £50 to play with. I got paid today, again on Monday and then again Friday (should be Monday but it's the bank holiday or something) and that's what throws me out of whack. And I need to remember to tell myself I'm doing good.

I keep thinking to myself that because I owed the money to virgin I was just going back to my old ways. But here's the thing. I'm really not. I made a mistake BUT the old me just buried her head and wanted it to go away. This time I did something. I paid £30 off immediately. Then Friday I paid another £21.73 (this is what remained of the March bill) and as of today I'm all up to date. This months bill is due out the end of the month and that's okay. But I have been beating myself up about the fact I technically got myself into debt again. But here is the thing, I not only paid it... But I did it without putting myself in a situation where I couldn't afford the rest of my bills.

When I found out about the "mystery debt" I didn't spiral out of control and wonder why I bother. I took a deep breath and came up with a plan. And I should cash out my first £5 from swagbucks at the end of the week, I will be paying £5 off it on Monday out my own money. Making it a completely money neutral payment! How awesome is that?

We are our own worst critics so much of the time and I just need to remember that I'm doing incredible right now. There will be set backs and blow outs, but it's being able to dust myself off and get back on track that is what truly matters. And to be fair even my blow outs seem to be budgeted haha.

Thank you for the hugs. It is a daily struggle and writing on here really helps. Sometimes it seems like crazy ramblings but it helps refocus my brain. Which is not always the easiest of tasks I have to be honest. But I just have to remind myself I have come a long way from the dark place I used to be in...

NotNormal

Yay the spreadsheet is done!! I have a budget column and an actual column. So the budget holds my plans for the month, then in the actual I update it as I get paid or spend, this way I can tell at a glance what still needs paying, what money I still have due in and then what I have left over at the end of the month. I've even included an unplanned section which has 3 lines - emergency (self explanatory), necessary (so say I have a grocery budget of £50, I spend £55 but £5 of that was on a special offer on toilet roll for example. I would write £50 in grocery and the £5 in unplanned under necessary) and then I have one called manic which is where I've put mondays £40 spend.

This will also help when it comes to speaking with people regarding my mental health as I have a clear idea of what I blow each month during manic phases. This will help with monitoring me and learning how to minimise the damage I do.

I have even included in the debt section a family/friends bit, so right now that holds the £21.73 that Dad lent me. Now I don't often borrow from people, but again this will help me track my money but also track my mental health. So for example if we see a pattern that I end up borrowing money every Jan for example, I know to put some money aside for then. But also for anyone helping me to discuss why this happens, what the money goes on to avoid it happening.

I feel more in control already. Just looking at it knowing how much money I need to pay out next week and how much I should have left. It's brilliant. For example I have this big red plastic bin that I love size wise, but colour doesn't match my room. I now know I should be able to afford to paint it this month. I will obviously shop around for the best deal, check the budget etc. But it feels good to know I should be able to do it this month! And see that in black and white instead of just hoping.

I mean something I had been stressed about was this feeling that I could not spend my own money, but now I feel like I can but I need to think it through first. Instead of wondering what I did with my money or regretting what I've done/not done that month.

It's really really nice knowing where I stand and knowing how easy it will be to update it each month so I always know where I stand.

NotNormal

I did it - 863SB. I need 849 to check out with £5, which means my first payment to the mystery debt on Monday will be completely neutral. I will still have £5. I have a month to raise another £5, minimum. So only 835SB to go

NotNormal

Back home and really proud of myself. I had £60 remaining. I spent £10 getting some ciggies and energy drink for the journey. 6 hours!!

Then took out £30 for the day out and came home with change!! Paid back Dad. So I had £8.27 which I potted towards christmas. And I've added columns to my spreadsheet so now it tells me what I need to leave in the bank for bills etc and then what I still have to play with and what is coming out of my next pay which is due friday. Thank god I did this as it told me that friday I would be £10 short of paying stuff, so put £10 in the emergency section so that I leave £10 in the account on top of what I need for bills. So I now know what I have to spare.

Good because I need to go top up the gas and I'm dying for an energy drink. Was in the car from 2pm-9.30pm Sat, was up all night and then walking from 10am until just shy of 2pm Sun, followed by a trip home in the car from 4pm until 10pm. I'm dead on my feet

NotNormal

Absolutely exhausted. Went to the new job centre today. Really proud of myself because I went alone and I walked it. Updated myfitnesspal to reflect it and I'm just over my weekly goal for exercise, which is brilliant since they have put me back on signing weekly so at least I know I'll be getting some decent exercise lol.

I was supposed to be going and handing in some forms after but Dad said not to as I had no one to go with me and it's miles away and in a completely unfamiliar place. He said we will talk about it later and sort something out.

Wednesday to do lists are usually pretty short and mostly computer based since it's such a draining day for me. So todays to do list

Job centre done
Forms filled out, need to talk to Dad about taking me to hand them in
Budget spreadsheet All up to date
Meal plan
Online grocery shop?
Order replacement cables (hudl and DVD player)
Research printers - mine needs replacing unfortunately
Pinterest - household folders/binders etc.

Bobarella

Well done on getting the job centre out the way, that is brilliant! You sound like you've had a really productive day.

NotNormal

Bobarella wrote: »

Well done on getting the job centre out the way, that is brilliant! You sound like you've had a really productive day.

Thank you, it wasn't my most productive but it was quite productive for a Wednesday lol.

Having updated my spreadsheets I'd paid off 1.8% of my debts, well I wanted a whole number so a quick calculation worked out £5.36 would bring me to 2% so that has now been thrown at the debts. Shall go update my signature! Really pleased at how well I'm managing my challenges. I still need to weigh myself but the scales are currently packed away so I need to move some stuff around to be able to pull them out.

But that's £5/£120 mystery debt challenge. £5.92/£600 overpayment challenge. I'm on budget, completely prepared for the month and may in fact have money left over come next pay day! And I'm halfway through my exercise goal for the week already, plus Sundays exercise alone was double my weekly goal for last week. I had a very healthy dinner last night of trout, salad, a couple of new potatoes and a dollop of seafood sauce and earlier I fancied a biscuit and only had one! My eating still isn't perfect but I am pleased with my progress regarding binges. Now I just need to remember to eat 3 times a day (which I've failed miserably at today - no breakfast, no lunch and it's almost dinner time).

Christmas savings are also building nicely. £115.11, but I have a little change to pot so I shall go and do that now so I can update the whole signature in one go (:

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Just to prove how daft I can be, I've just spent ages looking at my spreadsheet trying to find out where I had gone wrong. I had somehow gone from having £7 spare money to being £1.30 over budget. Not a worry as it could be taken from the £50 emergency savings, but very frustrating.

I was about to give up when I realised the total that should be in my bank right now didn't match what was in my bank, when it had moments before. I suddenly realised it was because I had just moved £8.30 from one section to another as it made more sense to come from that section. (Imagine you went out for lunch, you call that money an unplanned expense which it is. But surely it could come out of the food budget since it is food). Anyway I had put the £8.30 in the new section but it was still in the old section, corrected the section and it's all better now. Phew!

Bobarella

Well done on being at 2% repaid already! You do sound good with figures I have to say which can only be a huge plus for the keeping on top of it front.