New relationship advice needed.

anotheruser

It's a new relationship... a lot of people do this when it's new.
I wouldn't call it creepy; you've just been out of the rat race for a while to see how strange it looks from "outside".

pineapple

Fluff15 wrote: »

He was telling me he missed me during his holiday after our first date, we'd only met each other once!

:eek: :eek::eek:

Errata

pineapple wrote: »

:eek: :eek::eek:

Indeed. But that's only marginally worse than a bloke who's been around for less than two weeks trying to control someone's life by telling them what they have to do and mithering them to death with texts.

pineapple

Thanks folks
Well it seems my options are
Wait and see
Have 'the talk'
Cut and run
:huh:

I've resorted to inviting an 'imaginary friend' who is coming for the evening and staying over (ergo I'm not available). Maybe that should tell me something.

Fluff15

pineapple wrote: »

:eek: :eek::eek:

I know! My response was always 'how can you miss me when we've only met once' and his would always be 'I don't miss you in person, but I miss talking to you as much cos I can't while I'm abroad'.

It really did not do anything for me, but when he wasn't being overbearing I really enjoyed his company, so I stuck with it.

Errata

pineapple wrote: »

Thanks folks
Well it seems my options are
Wait and see
Have 'the talk'
Cut and run
:huh:

I've resorted to inviting an 'imaginary friend' who is coming for the evening and staying over (ergo I'm not available). Maybe that should tell me something.

It does tell you something. It tells you this not yet two week's old 'thing' is already turning you into a liar. You control who you see and when you see them, if they don't like it they'll make that plain.
TBH people who text, because they can't be faffed with picking up a phone and actually talking to someone aren't worth bothering with.

19lottie82

I'm afraid you're just "not that into him", if you were you'd be over the moon with his behaviour. You should break it off with him gently....

rainygreyhound

I've probably been the person guilty of wanting too much attention. There was nothing sinister in it, I just genuinely enjoyed being in that persons company.

If I could have taken a step back and seen things from another perspective, I'd probably have been horrified by my perceived "clinginess".

I'd NEVER have done what this person has though. Disregarding your wishes to be home at a certain time etc. and making you feel awkward about it. You should never need to make any excuse. If a person respects you then they'll also consider your feelings too.

onomatopoeia99

19lottie82 wrote: »

I'm afraid you're just "not that into him", if you were you'd be over the moon with his behaviour.

That's not necessarily true. Some people need alone time even during the "burning the candle at both ends" stage of a relationship.

I would never be over the moon at excessive clinginess, and I've been single a long time. I'd be horrified with myself if I thought I was excessively imposing my wishes onto a new girlfriend and would very much want to be told if she felt that way.

pineapple

Yesterday he had asked for a bit of help today moving his belongings (has just removed things from store). There was a missed call and a missed good morning text when I got up. I left it a while then texted to see if he still needed help and what time.. The message came up 'no sent store'. I took that to mean the message had gone but had not been saved?? Anyhow it turns out it didn't send. Cue aggrieved text an hour or so later 'At least let me know you are still alive' . Then we clarified things on the phone (I know novel isn't it) and I'm afraid I carried on with the pretext that an old mate is coming over. However tomorrow I'll say she didn't turn up but I needed some space and we'll take it from there..