Bad Neighbor - ME!!!

hohum

I think maybe calm down a bit. Three's no need to make this into a massive issue if you are sensible about it. Like everyone says, apologise, give advance warning of social gatherings, don't play music loud and be considerate. you don't need to stop having people round. It's actually the effort to consider that many people appreciate, rather than the lack of noise!

It's one incident. OP, the thing that cheeses me off is loud music after 12am. I live in a back to back terrace in a majority rented area, and honestly you will hear things. I know all the names of the kids next door, from hearing them yelled up the stairs Occasionally next door have a family gathering on a weekend, and yes it is loud. I tend to grumble a bit but people have to live in close proximity, so a bit of tolerance is fine.

People having loud banging parties that I can hear from down the street are what will make me complain (my boyfriend had to stop me from going and having words with a massive houseparty down the street last year at 2am in the morning). Your neighbour is probably a bit sensitive, but honestly I think just being sensible and human in how you handle this is the best place to start!

lxpeanut

es123 wrote: »

At the end of the day I am free to do what I want within my own home if its legal etc. It really isn't something that happens regularly at all.

When I was a student we lived on a street that was mostly families and older people. We were probably the quietest student house ever but on one occasion we stayed up chatting into the early hours and our neighbors complained to the landlord about our loud party (three people chatting). It is reasonable that occasionally you have other people in your house past 10pm unfortunately some people have a low tolerance for other peoples noise. You need to maintain the relationship with your neighbors or life can become very stressful. Maybe next time you are planing something warn her say you will try to keep the noise down after midnight (so she knows when its going to get quieter) and maybe give her your mobile number so she can phone instead of having to come round if she has any complaints.

car0line123

Bart1 wrote: »

I can't believe some of the posts here. It is entirely reasonable to have friends round on occasion. Not all of us are tucked up in bed by midnight.

It is only reasonable AS LONG AS you don't disturb other people. If you want to make noise, buy a detached house away from others, go to a pub, go to a club, rent a hall, there are plenty of options.

Some of us happen to work early, or to work shifts. It is entirely reasonable to expect to live in peace and be surrounded by civilised people.

Shelldean

Op

I do actually sympathise with you.

We've lived here for 18 years, middle terrace town house.

For the first fifteen everything was fine then new people moved in one side. And suddenly we're hearing everything. Even as I type this I can hear one member of next door conversation over my radio

Now I know it's.not the houses as if it was we would have hear things with the previous neighbour or we'd hear the other side.

Next door are aware we can hear them, as we've told them. We've also told the housing association (both rented)we've attended mediation. And still it goes on. Three years now and counting

Yet the one time we dared to have a bbq and had two adult relative's and a two children visit. The man next door shouted at us over the fence to shut up, when husband responded in the same tone he got threatened with being taught some respect in front of his children. This was mid afternoon, so not late at night.

This is the bloke who held a birthday party. He started putting the marquee up at at 11:50PM, yes ten to midnight he started. He was asked to stop at 12:30, but just ignored us. This was complete with fan testing at 4am. The fan kept hitting the metal casing. Marquee was completed and we got silence at 4:30am.
The party started at 8.30pm Saturday and finished at 7:30am Sunday morning. It was SO loud my bed vibrated. Environmental health came and visited three times and the neighbour fined. Housing association took no action as it was a one.off!!!!


None of this will help you I know but at least you know you're not alone.

gfplux

I believe this is all about understanding that in a modern home there are noise issues.
If everyone would understand this and work to minimise any problems then life would be a lot smoother.
There are so many possible things we can all do that will allow us to get on better with our neighbours.
The OP mentions hearing a phone ring. We all should understand that having a fixed house phone next to a party wall of always leaving your mobile also next to a party wall can cause irritation. Just a simple change of location of the phone or behaviour and there is NO problem.
Most of us have a washing machine or dishwasher. Some people "enjoy" washing late at night as it can be convenient. However a machine positioned next to a party wall or in Kitchen in a flat where someone's bedroom is below will not be a welcome sound.
There is a long, long list of things we and our neighbours can do to minimise noise pollution.

dirty_magic

I think you need to either grow up ......or sell up and buy a detached house somewhere your anti-social behaviour won't be a pain for those living around you.

In the real world where the grown ups live 1.30am is too late to have a group of seven people laughing, joking and generally making social noise.

How patronising! I'm pretty sure you're in the minority if you never have friends round.

OP I don't think it's unreasonable to want to be able to have friends over. It would be different if it was a party with loud music. Unless you look into sound proofing I don't think there's much you can do other than try to get your friends to be a bit quieter, but I know from experience than men's voices can get quite loud even without realising it! If it's not a regular occurrence I wouldn't worry too much tbh.

paulsad

This is my biggest dread of going back to a newish built semi after my last 3 being either detached or old properties with very thick walls. The main thing is to be understanding wherever poss. the odd night of partying I'm happy to put up with as I'd expect the same - but constant noise irritation would be a nightmare. My BH is a bit deaf and I've already said she'll have to be a bit more considerate with the t.v. volume.

AliceBanned

Bart1 wrote: »

I can't believe some of the posts here. It is entirely reasonable to have friends round on occasion. Not all of us are tucked up in bed by midnight.

Yes but as far as noise is concerned there are laws to protect neighbours ('on occasion' even) from potential problems caused by lack of sleep and the loss of enjoyment of their home. You don't have 'right' to the type of enjoyment that causes distress to others - otherwise there could be complete social breakdown!


It's easy to say that it is harmless unless you are on the receiving end of it. The neighbour might work long hours, have a health problem, or neither of these, but most council environmental health departments legally have a duty to protect neighbours being disturbed after 23:00 hrs and before 07:00 hrs if this occurs, even if infrequently if the noise is preventing 'quiet enjoyment' of their own home.


In fact if noise is bad enough (not that it sounds it on this occasion, or that that is the intention at all), it can be on a par with homelessness (in extreme cases). Believe me, I've been a victim of extreme noise. The early hours of the morning, whatever the day of the week, is unacceptable to be having to listen to any kind of neighbour noise.


Also the OP said that it was 1.30am when the neighbour complained- it takes a lot of guts to complain and the knocking on the wall was probably due to frustration and stress caused by the inability to shut out the noise. It is the sense of helplessness and unpredictability that causes the problem for the neighbour - unless you have been there you can't really judge how awful if really feels. You might have carried on until 4am if she hadn't knocked, for all she knows. They are paying to live in their home too and she is probably frightened that her peace has been destroyed for good. Luckily it doesn't sound that this is the case as you are being rational about it. I live in a flat in a middle floor and I very rarely make any noise. It is a courtesy, but I understand that people have different lifestyles. You just have to compromise.


I used to live next door to a couple with a baby. They left the baby to cry all night and never seemed to attend to it. Its room was next to my bedroom but I didn't complain - I put earplugs in and managed to get some sleep. It wasn't great but I knew that it would only be bad for a few months. If they had been having friends round and partying this would have been a different matter, as I would think this is not a necessity but a choice. The baby can't help it but adults obviously can choose.

FBaby

There is a massive difference between a regular mild noise that you expect at a reasonable hours of the day (a child running around type noise) and unexpected, loud in a jumpy way, in the middle of the night type of noise.

On this basis, I think you are being selfish and unconsiderate. If it matters so much to you that you should be able to party once in whilst without a care of the time of the night and that you are keeping people from getting a proper night sleep, then at least have the decency to warn them a week in advance so they have the chance to see if they can go and get a proper night sleep elsewhere, and make sure that it is an occasional event.

Our neighbour has young children who do make running noise, sometimes cry for a bit and well do all the usual sounds you expect from young children in reasonable hours. That is NOTHING compared to the people who were there before who were a young couple having parties that went out until the middle of night. Drunk loud men, high pitch giggling women, shouting, it was unbearable. Thankfully, we all complained to the landlord and they replaced them with the family. What a blessing this has been.

duchy

A lot is what the neighbour is used to.

If the previous occupants were very quiet then even if you are in your eyes moderately noisy it is far more noticable and grating to your neighbour. Likewise if the previous owners were a family then any "child noise" from them was probably never commented on as never noticed.

With one horrible exception I've always had great neighbours.
One neighbour would knock and ask me what hours I was working that day if he was going to be doing any hammering as he knew I worked from home - likewise because he worked nights I made sure we never made any excessive noise in the mornings when I knew he was sleeping.

The reason we knew to do this was all down to communication.
Neither of us worked 9-5 but because we were friendly (not friends just neighbour friendly) we knew this so knew when consideration was needed.