Bad Neighbor - ME!!!

duchy

djedga wrote: »

I think you're being a bit harsh here! The fact that the OP is concerned about the impact of this (as yet) isolated incident shows that they have some scruples

Understand you have had bad experiences but you don't know this person at all.

They also state that this isn't a regular habitual occurrence, and you yourself say that you were happy with "the odd party".

I think we can put this very minor "dispute" down to:

1) OP's inexperience of home ownership / being new to the house
2) Lack of communication
3) Possibly a slightly up tight neighbor

Improve the communication, don't make it a regular habit and all will be well!

I do agree
Our first houses we all feel it's our castle and we can do as we like......... and then the bubble bursts and we have to compromise on stuff like this ..........and it's the reason why detached houses are so desirable .

Yes I was harsh but if the OP doesn't see both sides these situations can escalate into tit for tat very quickly and can be miserable for everyone.

Pixie5740

I had issues with noise coming from my neighbour upstairs. His music was loud, his television was loud (one evening I heard another neighbour pounding on his ajoining wall shouting, "Turn that !!!!ing television down!") and he frequently had friends back after the clubs closed, so 3am.

He and his friends were talking very loudly because they were !!!!!! as newts and I'm sure one of them face planted the floor when trying to stand up.

I just spoke with him about the noise levels and it seems as though he was totally unaware as he can't hear any noise from my flat. Now when he has people back they stay in the kitchen which is above my living room rather than going to his living room which is above my bedroom.

So my advice is just to speak with your neighbour calmly and come to some compromise.

lxpeanut

I would pop round and apologies for disturbing her and reassure her that late night parties are not going to be common occurrence. There are ways you can improve the sound proofing of your house but none of them come very cheap.

car0line123

es123 wrote: »

My worry is that this is going to continue....what if my wife and I decide to have a baby...is she going to knock on the door when it cries at night?

I hope your neighbour will not be unreasonable then, but trust me, once YOU have a child, you will become much less understanding towards people's noise in the evening when your baby is kept awake by the noise and you are exhausted.

I believe that when neighbours complain about noise in general, they are not being malicious, they are genuinely suffering or at least inconvenienced. It's up to you to try to keep things friendly. I live in a flat, and cannot have a big gathering, simply because it would be too noisy. You simply do not live the same way in a remote detached house or in a semi or a terrace, let alone a flat.

Cuilean

In my previous house, which was in a rural village, we lived in a little cul-de-sac of terraced houses. Husband and I, in our 30s, were the youngest couple there by far. The houses on the other side of the road were back to front, and had long front gardens and a little back garden. The one directly opposite us was bought by a young couple about a year after we moved in.

After a few months, we christened them "The Party House", because that's all they did. Most weekdays, they'd get in from work at about 6pm, friends would start turning up (And parking in everyone else's allocated bays), and by 7pm, music was blaring and the BBQ was on. Friends would disappear about midnight. On weekends, parties would continue well into the night. We would be woken up at 3am quite frequently, with their music still blaring, bottles and glasses still clinking, and loud chattering. Because most people in the street were elderly and too polite to speak up, we dug our own proverbial grave, and they probably thought their gatherings were not bothering people, when they really were. You can imagine the neighbourhood's collective relief when the "For Sale" board went up a few months back :laugh:

I think you've had some excellent advice, and it's great that you've realised you can make things better. Go and apologise to the neighbour. She's been inconvenienced, and it's always good to have your neighbours on-side. Reassure her it won't be a regular occurrence, and try to be the best neighbour you can for a while to win her over. Unfortunately, most flats don't come with the sort of wall thickness which allows you to get away with gatherings which go on past midnight. We've now in our late 30s and have finally bought a house where we could gladly throw parties until 3am - except we're too tired to do anything after midnight, apart from sleep

Bart1

I can't believe some of the posts here. It is entirely reasonable to have friends round on occasion. Not all of us are tucked up in bed by midnight.

es123

Thanks all.

I can see both sides to the argument and its obviously best to keep things 'sweet' so to speak.

One point I would make is that it certainly was nothing rowdy - no additional cars parked, no activity outside, no bottles falling/clincking. It was just spoken voice.

I do appreciate it was probably louder after having a few!
I intend on speaking to her and apologising, however it may happen again and I will let her know e.g. tell her the day before on what I intend to do etc. At the end of the day I am free to do what I want within my own home if its legal etc. It really isn't something that happens regularly at all.

Thanks again.

aileth

I echo what some others have said. You didn't deliberately or intentionally set out to be noisy and disturb her, but when adults drink, they get louder. It's just what happens. If she came around at 2 to point it out to you, I would imagine she was at her wit's end and it certainly wasn't the first thing she'd heard.

I would nip around with some flowers and a bottle of wine, apologise, say that you didn't realise how noisy you had been and that you will work hard to make sure she isn't disturbed, and that if you are going to have any social occasions to give her advance notice, however doing so doesn't give you carte blanche to create whatever noise you want.

Just because you are free to do something in your home or anywhere for that matter doesn't mean you should. People nowadays live in very close quarters with one another, and if everyone actually had consideration for their fellow men, rather than a selfish 'it's my house I'll do what I want' attitude, there would be barely any neighbour complaints!

Winter_Phoenix

Is there a room in your house which is not immediately next to a neighbour's room? If so, could you and your friends all move into that room after, say, 11 o'clock at night?

We used to do this when we lived in an upstairs flat - when the neighbour downstairs went to bed, we moved out of the living room and into the kitchen, where we wouldn't disturb her.

Pixie5740

es123 wrote: »

At the end of the day I am free to do what I want within my own home if its legal etc. It really isn't something that happens regularly at all.

You are free to do what you want in your home to a degree. Making noise at 2:30am might not be considered reasonable and if this escalates your neighbour could get the council involved which could ultimately result in you being issued with an ASBO. Best to just find some common ground.