Bad Neighbor - ME!!!

19lottie82

es123 wrote: »

I had a few family members over. We had a few drinks however there was no music or TV on etc. It was just a group of us chatting/laughing etc.

The problem is, even though you say there was no music / TV, as we all know, after a few drinks, people tend to get a lot louder, without realising it.

I think you're just going to have to put this down to a disadvantage of your new home.

I agree, you should pop over to your neighbours and apologise and explain that although you weren't being particularly loud, you do realise that noise tends to carry in these houses and you will bear that in mind in future.

es123 wrote: »

My worry is that this is going to continue....what if my wife and I decide to have a baby...is she going to knock on the door when it cries at night?

Then your neighbour will be unreasonable. At the moment, she isn't really (apart from the banging on the walls!).

es123

Thank you all so much. Hopefully I haven't come on here and sounded stupid!

My main goal is to get on with my neighbours.....if it means carrying out the above steps then I will. Fortunately we don't have people round all too often so its not a regular thing.

She probably doesn't realise how much we can hear...but I think it would be unfair to raise that, as it's not bothered us so far.

flora48

Unfortunately the modern minimalist decor of today doesn't help. Hard flooring and blinds means that noise echoes more. Can you do anything to minimise the noise with carpets and curtains. Just a thought.

es123

flora48 wrote: »

Unfortunately the modern minimalist decor of today doesn't help. Hard flooring and blinds means that noise echoes more. Can you do anything to minimise the noise with carpets and curtains. Just a thought.

We have carpet and curtains already

duchy

I think you need to either grow up ......or sell up and buy a detached house somewhere your anti-social behaviour won't be a pain for those living around you.

In the real world where the grown ups live 1.30am is too late to have a group of seven people laughing, joking and generally making social noise.

If you were to lose your temper your neighbour would be totally within her rights to call the police as you are in the wrong with both the way you are behaving and your attitude .Obviously you weren't brought up to consider others if seven members of your family also felt that kind of noise was acceptable at that time of night - but it is time to realize that kind of noise isn't acceptable or normal to most people.

You've bought a house- not an entire neighbourhood- and your neighbours have the right to "quiet enjoyment " of their property.

Presumably you work - would you want your sleep disturbed on a day you had to be up early in the morning because your neighbour was making enough (avoidable) noise at 2am to keep you awake. If there is a small cvhild in the house odds are your neighbour is up early with her on a Sunday morning .......and a child short on sleep is far more likely to cry and scream through tiredness during the day too.

You chose to buy a house with poor sound proofing -you need to conform to normal social behaviour and look at ways to improve the sound proofing in your home before this situation escalates.

Sorry but I've lived next door to idiots who thought they had a god given right to invite their mates back after the pub and have no regard for disturbing neighbours and it gets very wearing very quickly (the previous occupants were a single Mum with a young child -and before that two single girls who would have the odd party- neither bothered me -as some noise is inevitable but sheer selfishness is something else)

Don't assume this incident was the first time you've disturbed your neighbours- most people only go knocking in the small hours after they've put up with noise for an extended period before finally getting desperate enough to go knocking at silly o clock. Just because you are only just realizing now doesn't mean this is the first time you've upset them.

Honestly there is nothing worse than having neighbours on bad terms -so get to know her so you can talk about issues rather than resentment build (and work out which is their "off weeks" from havinng the child and try and make those weekends the ones you are entertaining......odds are the reason she got so cross was because you woke the child)

es123 wrote: »

A problem arose this weekend. I had a few family members over. We had a few drinks however there was no music or TV on etc. It was just a group of us chatting/laughing etc. At around 1.30am she started knocking on the walls, and by 2 she has come round to complain rather angrily reminding me of the time.

I’m not sure how to tackle this. I can’t stop having my family over and I want to be able to do what I want within my own home. At the same time I don’t want to fall out with anyone. She doesn't seem to be the ‘reasonable’ type. I don’t want her to knock on the door each and every time she hears noise on a Saturday night.
The last time she knocked was when we first moved in and there was no furniture or carpet etc. A friend was painting the living room and at 9pm she said there was too much noise. That time I apologised and put it down to the lack of furniture.

Does anyone have any advice on how to handle this. Like a said, I’m new the world of the home owning and so I’m not sure how to tackle this. I don’t want to lose my temper with her or anyone else, but I want to live in my home as I please.

Any words of wisdom would be amazing! Thanks all!

pmlindyloo

As regards what could happen in the future - if your neighbour decided to contact the police or environmental health then this would have to be declared on the information form when/if you sold your property.

As you say, in the future, perhaps if you have a baby, things could get totally out of hand if you don't sort this out.

Speak to your neighbour in a friendly way and talk about the thin walls. Let them know that you are going to be cooperative about everything. Hopefully they will do the same.

djedga

duchy wrote: »

I think you need to either grow up ......or sell up and buy a detached house somewhere your anti-social behaviour won't be a pain for those living around you.

In the real world where the grown ups live 1.30am is too late to have a group of seven people laughing, joking and generally making social noise.

If you were to lose your temper your neighbour would be totally within her rights to call the police as you are in the wrong with both the way you are behaving and your attitude .Obviously you weren't brought up to consider others if seven members of your family also felt that kind of noise was acceptable at that time of night - but it is time to realize that kind of noise isn't acceptable or normal to most people.

You've bought a house- not an entire neighbourhood- and your neighbours have the right to "quiet enjoyment " of their property.

Presumably you work - would you want your sleep disturbed on a day you had to be up early in the morning because your neighbour was making enough (avoidable) noise at 2am to keep you awake. If there is a small cvhild in the house odds are your neighbour is up early with her on a Sunday morning .......and a child short on sleep is far more likely to cry and scream through tiredness during the day too.

You chose to buy a house with poor sound proofing -you need to conform to normal social behaviour and look at ways to improve the sound proofing in your home before this situation escalates.

Sorry but I've lived next door to idiots who thought they had a god given right to invite their mates back after the pub and have no regard for disturbing neighbours and it gets very wearing very quickly (the previous occupants were a single Mum with a young child -and before that two single girls who would have the odd party- neither bothered me -as some noise is inevitable but sheer selfishness is something else)

Don't assume this incident was the first time you've disturbed your neighbours- most people only go knocking in the small hours after they've put up with noise for an extended period before finally getting desperate enough to go knocking at silly o clock. Just because you are only just realizing now doesn't mean this is the first time you've upset them.

I think you're being a bit harsh here! The fact that the OP is concerned about the impact of this (as yet) isolated incident shows that they have some scruples

Understand you have had bad experiences but you don't know this person at all.

They also state that this isn't a regular habitual occurrence, and you yourself say that you were happy with "the odd party".

I think we can put this very minor "dispute" down to:

1) OP's inexperience of home ownership / being new to the house
2) Lack of communication
3) Possibly a slightly up tight neighbor

Improve the communication, don't make it a regular habit and all will be well!

es123

duchy wrote: »

I think you need to either grow up ......or sell up and buy a detached house somewhere your anti-social behaviour won't be a pain for those living around you.

In the real world where the grown ups live 1.30am is too late to have a group of seven people laughing, joking and generally making social noise.

If you were to lose your temper your neighbour would be totally within her rights to call the police as you are in the wrong with both the way you are behaving and your attitude .Obviously you weren't brought up to consider others if seven members of your family also felt that kind of noise was acceptable at that time of night - but it is time to realize that kind of noise isn't acceptable or normal to most people.

You've bought a house- not an entire neighbourhood- and your neighbours have the right to "quiet enjoyment " of their property.

Presumably you work - would you want your sleep disturbed on a day you had to be up early in the morning because your neighbour was making enough (avoidable) noise at 2am to keep you awake. If there is a small cvhild in the house odds are your neighbour is up early with her on a Sunday morning .......and a child short on sleep is far more likely to cry and scream through tiredness during the day too.

You chose to buy a house with poor sound proofing -you need to conform to normal social behaviour and look at ways to improve the sound proofing in your home before this situation escalates.

Sorry but I've lived next door to idiots who thought they had a god given right to invite their mates back after the pub and have no regard for disturbing neighbours and it gets very wearing very quickly (the previous occupants were a single Mum with a young child -and before that two single girls who would have the odd party- neither bothered me -as some noise is inevitable but sheer selfishness is something else)

Don't assume this incident was the first time you've disturbed your neighbours- most people only go knocking in the small hours after they've put up with noise for an extended period before finally getting desperate enough to go knocking at silly o clock. Just because you are only just realizing now doesn't mean this is the first time you've upset them.

Honestly there is nothing worse than having neighbours on bad terms -so get to know her so you can talk about issues rather than resentment build (and work out which is their "off weeks" from havinng the child and try and make those weekends the ones you are entertaining......odds are the reason she got so cross was because you woke the child)

There is no need to speak to me like that. I've not been rude to anyone, or you. I came on here for simple advice.

Don't you dare question my upbringing either. Do you know anything about me, my life or the way I was brought up?

You wouldn't speak to me like that face to face, so don't be a keyboard warrior.

duchy

Oh trust me - I would !!!
You talked about losing your temper with someone who was simply asking you to stop keeping them awake in the middle of the night. Blunt - yes- rude no. Just because you don't like the truth doesn't make it rude.

Remember if you do go on to have a baby yourself -you will be dealing with a child who WILL be crying in the night -and disturbing your neighbours a lot later than 10,30pm -if you have a good relationship with them you'll work it out - If you have a history of annoying them with noise already things could get very difficult.

BristolBob

es123 wrote: »

My worry is that this is going to continue....what if my wife and I decide to have a baby...

I didn't think that that sentence would end like this...

es123 wrote: »

...is she going to knock on the door when it cries at night?

:T