partners with kids

cashewnut

Maybe she thought her feelings would change and she'd warm up to the idea of his children being part of the relationship...but just hasn't.


I've never looked for 'perfection' in a relationship but have ditched some great guys because over time (a few months usually) I realised my feelings just never ran deep enough for them, and that wasn't enough for me.

Mattygroves2

SuzieSue wrote: »

This is the exact issue. The OP is too young. I would never have considered someone with so much baggage at 25, but I did at 40 and have been with him for 10 years and don't regret it at all. The difference is that his 3 kids were all over 16 and he only had to pay maintenance for a couple of years and was then able to sort out the financial problems caused by his divorce.

If it was the right person she isn't too young. I got involved with someone with 2 kids (then 5 and 7) at the age of 24. We got married 6 years later and are still together nearly 18 years after the marriage. No regrets at all.

I've never wanted my own but am happy to act as part time step mum. Pretty much the only money related thing we argue about is me suggesting to him that he should give more of our accumulated wealth to them !

VestanPance

If you don't want to be involved and have your life interrupted raising other peoples children then walk away.

People with kids will often jump down your throat because you're having issues dating someone with kids, but that's their tough luck. You're not being selfish you're being practical. If it's not something you really want then walk away as it best for all involved.

catkins

I never looked for nor expected perfection in a relationship but a man with children would have been a no no for me

HOWMUCH

Sometimes it's not the children but the ex partners which is the problem in relationships were children are concerned. You need to decide what you can and can't deal with, I knew children wouldn't bother me but an ex partner always in the background would. So you are young enough to get someone without this background, if this is what you wish. You need to be happy!

Jagraf

A different scenario. A person falls in love with someone, and then finds out they have kids (no lying etc part if it, just a situation). Would you leave them then?

Jagraf

HOWMUCH wrote: »

Sometimes it's not the children but the ex partners which is the problem in relationships were children are concerned. You need to decide what you can and can't deal with, I knew children wouldn't bother me but an ex partner always in the background would. So you are young enough to get someone without this background, if this is what you wish. You need to be happy!

Some ex partners are a nightmare even with no kids :eek:

duchy

Jagraf wrote: »

A different scenario. A person falls in love with someone, and then finds out they have kids (no lying etc part if it, just a situation). Would you leave them then?

Yes but only because I wouldn't want to be with a man who didn't think their kids were important to them.

If in the time it took to fall in love with him he hadn't thought they were worth mentioning then he's not the kind of man I'd want to be in a relationship with (whether I wanted kids or not).

Parents talk about their kids .....it#s a fact of life. If you are with someone who never mentions them there's something not right going on .

Jagraf

duchy wrote: »

Yes but only because I wouldn't want to be with a man who didn't think their kids were important to them.

If in the time it took to fall in love with him he hadn't thought they were worth mentioning then he's not the kind of man I'd want to be in a relationship with (whether I wanted kids or not).

Parents talk about their kids .....it#s a fact of life. If you are with someone who never mentions them there's something not right going on .

I meant ignore the fact you didn't know. As if it couldn't be determined before.

Gavin83

Jagraf wrote: »

A different scenario. A person falls in love with someone, and then finds out they have kids (no lying etc part if it, just a situation). Would you leave them then?

I'm a man but yes I would leave a woman in this situation. It's a total deal breaker for me so it doesn't matter how far along the dating process we were.