Half way there and a slight change of direction

elantan

Yeah they are older Ed, and have health issues, thats kinda the crux of it all tbh, dont get me wrong, they go away for an month at a time so we dont visit during those times, we just keep an eye on the house etc but when they are here it's a lot of visiting, I think we thought because they were going away for so long that things were ok, yesterday brought home that no it wasnt, there are issues underlying and they need support. We tentatively approached POA today whilst down there, not for just now but for when they are no longer able to make decisions etc I think we need to start getting these things in place. I'm hoping that I can atleast get through the uni course and then work part time before I need to become very heavily involved. We dont tend to stay too long, just a wee half hour or so unless things are needing done, today we went down at 2pm and got home about 7.30pm so yes it was a long day today but we were there for a specific purpose, things were better today though, I think the intervention of yesterday helped calm the situation down.

The problem is I think the Mil has the start of dementia, she is in denial and will not go and see anyone but she has quite bad memory loss and also behaviour changes which have a knock on effect on Fil who has Copd ( Mil has Copd as well ) plus other physical issues

edinburgher

Sorry to hear that. If dementia is already evident, you may already be too late for POA. Speaking from personal experience, Mrs E's Mum had to go down the Guardianship route in similar circumstances. All hunkydory now, but a tough couple of years for her.

elantan

YShe is not too bad just now but we would need to be fast I think tbh

Glad things have settled for Mrs Eds mum

Karmacat

My dad was quite a long way down that path when we realised about needing a POA - luckily, my mum chanced upon a really sensible local solicitor, and we got it through without problems, my mum and my brother were *both* named, don't know if that made a difference (I'm her go-to person on finance, but he only lives 45 mins away).

El, I thought the same as Ed, you're visiting a lot - but if they've *both* got health problems of all sorts, I can understand why. But please don't underestimate what you're both presently doing, its a huge amount.

elantan

Ive been up since 8.30am this morning and am still attempting to deal with business before I head to the funeral of a man I considered to be my second ( and preferred) Dad.

It's been good to keep busy today and keep my mind off of the funeral etc but the tax man keeping me on hold is starting to drive me nuts.

Things I have achieved so far, found out my wages were still wrong, that's been two months in a row now they have been wrong, talked with the lawyer on the phone, that put up some very worrying information that I need to discuss with various people ( guess what my night is gonna be filled with) handed over the gas and electricity meter readings then looked at the tariff and discovered there are now cheaper tariffs out there so transferred onto a better deal, transferred the money through the various bank accounts so that all banks have been credited to meet the conditions, and paid a tiny wee Tilly tidy off the mortgage ( always a good thing to do)

So it's been a busy morning but baring all the hassle waiting for both the work to deal with the issues ( I dont know who is worse the tax man or work ... was on hold to work for over 30 mins and I had to get a call back which still didnt solve the issue... tax man so far 32 mins) it's been quite a productive morning.

My pension money for the month should have hit my account by now so I might just go and order my funds and that should be me done.

I miss my garden, just thought I would throw that in there.

edinburgher

:grouphug: Dodgy hugs, doesn't sound like the best of days

At least you are managing to stay productive

elantan

Thanks Ed dodgy hugs always accepted with a smile

well after 40 mins on hold to the tax man I finally got through, total waste of my time, are these people wannabe politicians ? they cant seem to give a straight answer, occasionally people appear to have been missed off the system I was told, so I asked how do I get back in touch with you if I slip through the net again, oh you havnt slipped through the net you have just been lost off of the system, ahhhh right it's a case of mysterious disappearance then ( maybe they no longer have a net for people to slip through) ..... GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR ....

But let's see how it goes, maybe in a few months it will sort itself out. Must get ready now for the day ahead, hope you are all well

Karmacat

El, so sorry to hear this. I hope its a good send off for him, and as positive for you as it can be

I'll be thinking of you.

Knit_Witch

Hugs El, have as good a day as you can

elantan

Thanks Kc and Kw much appreciated

well today was a day mixed with sadness and relief, my friends dad had been ill for nearly 30 years ( I thought it was 40) so whilst he is now out of pain and has moved on to wherever he believes he will be, my friend and her family have to get used to living in a world where he isnt physically there anymore.