Half way there and a slight change of direction

elantan

And massive thanks to Skinty for being the listening ear xxxxx your advice is as always spot on

Karmacat

Thats a great opportunity El - if your investments now offset the mortgage, it makes absolute sense to blitz the pension now - I'm glad Skinty made sense to you

Hypno was on there today, by the way, with photos of Venice - and she's changed her surname already :rotfl: no flies on our girl

Tilly_MFW_in_6_YRS

Great post to read El. I'll be doing a few of these :j:j:j at the end of the month.

Tilly x x x

skint_spice

Karmacat wrote: »

Thats a great opportunity El - if your investments now offset the mortgage, it makes absolute sense to blitz the pension now - I'm glad Skinty made sense to you

I'm just chuffed I made sense to someone...:rotfl:

Karmacat wrote: »

Hypno was on there today, by the way, with photos of Venice - and she's changed her surname already :rotfl: no flies on our girl

Gorgeous pics and they look so happy in the wedding photos - she deserves this time so much:smileyhea

edinburgher

Well done to Skinty for the injection of bright ideas

elantan

:j:j:j:T:T:T:T We are officially offset on our mortgage:j:j:j:T:T:T:T:T.. Wish I had Gally girls ability to put smiley's up
The feeling is so immense, its wonderful, I feel like on some level we have some control back over our lives. Along with that comes the reality that we still have a long way to go, retirement plans to make and implement but it feels good non the less.

In other not so exciting news, Mil has asked Mr El and I to go to Blackpool, we cant afford it, we have spent so much money this year on so many things that HAD to be bought, brakes for the car as the wheels were squeeling, better shoes for my feet as I now have Plantar fasitis ( really really painful) and other things, not wants but needs, not even a take away

Last weekend was our inaugural Elantan day, my son and I got to talking about how we can start small family traditions of our own, we dont tend to do xmas or easter and we recognised that it wasnt something we really wanted to start, we dont like "conforming" to societies must do's. So we decided to have twice a year elantan weekends, in the summer we will go camping and spend the weekend walking and talking and in winter we will spend the weekend doing things at one of our homes.

Last weekend was the camping weekend, it rained buckets, the tents were swimming, so maybe next year as we start to get a handle on this whole plan we may just not bother camping but may instead just go away for the day and stay at one of our homes, the weather was great when we left as well ... but as soon as the tent was pitched and the fire lit, down it came :mad:

Tilly_MFW_in_6_YRS

Morning El, I was only thinking of you this morning. I've sent you a text with my new mobile number

So delighted to read your news - truly brilliant.

New traditions sound fab.

Best wishes, Tilly x x

Karmacat

:j:j:j


:bdaycake:


:coffee:

Congratulations! The mug is a whole pot of coffee, by the way. What a wonderful thing, to be fully offset! Huge flexibility and all the non-expense of paying off - good for you.

Love the idea of your own celebrations - sorry it got so soaked, but it just needs a bit of a tweak, its great.

Hope you can have a great weekend this weekend, even with the plantar fasciitis

:hello:

gallygirl

elantan wrote: »

:j:j:j:T:T:T:T We are officially offset on our mortgage:j:j:j:T:T:T:T:T..

Wonderful news .

elantan

Thank you everyone, need that pot of coffee today KC

Tilly I didnt get any text but have sent you one did you get it ?

So the reality of being offset is sinking in, it's quite strange on the one hand I feel as if a huge burden and pressure has been lifted, on the other hand its as if there is a new burden on my shoulders, but it does feel like part of the plan is in place and I can now not concentrate on that so much but work on the rest.

Mr El and I had a good long chat last night about being offset where we are now, our plans for retirement and when we can actually hope to retire ( I blame skinty for that one, throwing me a curve ball )

We talked about the (now booked) upcoming holiday to Blackpool, Mr El highlighted to me that I had shown him money that was saved towards a holiday and asked where that money now is, now he brings a very valid point, that money was spent on goodness knows what, I know it wasnt wasted but I dont actually know what exactly it was spent on.

That coupled with the £138 dentist bill I had to pay yesterday ( tooth fell apart on me) made me (once again) bring up the subject of financial control. Now I have attempted this many times and the last time I did I insisted Mr El get involved but something again wasnt right, cause if it was we would still be doing it, and do you know what I am fed up to the back teeth of being exactly where I am, one step forward and one or two steps back. I thought right where is the problem here, and I realised the problem is a few things.

Although I am asking Mr El to be involved I am still having to do the leg work, when we talk I already have the figures to hand (to try and save the conversation going on too long and getting too stressful for him) so he doesnt know where to get the figures or what they really mean, there is also that part of me that worries that if I tell Mr El exactly how much I am paying towards the pension then he might think " no thats far too much we need to cut back " and before I know it the retirement plans go out the window and I am working till I am 70, there is also the part of me that thinks " oh I just spent £60 on uni books ( or some other thing) and he wont be happy"

I need to deal with this, I need to be able to let go of some of the control that I am having, I need to stop protecting Mr El from some of the stress if i am ever to get us to the stage where we fully know where we stand if we are ever to be able to organise our finances properly.

So last night I sat Mr El down and once again had " the chat" he did what he always does he brought out the negative the " no no no no" the things that makes me give up and say "oh to hell with it I will sort it out" .... this time however I combated him at every turn and stood firm, this time I insisted, it was tough going, and it made me realise that this is also one of those major problems that we have, he moans and gets stressed which stresses me out till I get to the stage of thinking oh to hell with it I will just do it, but with me working 60 plus hours a week and me dealing mainly with his parents and aunty ( and all the legal stuff that goes with that) I can no longer do it.

It seemed to work, now I need to keep it up, I need to ensure I do this every week, I need to ensure until it becomes a regular thing and habit that I stay on top of it, I feel like I am having to drag us as a couple into adulthood but if we are to be successful then that is what we HAVE to do

Sorry everyone just having a rant and a period of reflection