Mediation

Pixie5740

Expect the worst and hope for the best.

There's no point trying to second guess what she will or won't do, how she wants to be seen. Just focus on the things you do have control over.

Guest101

Pixie5740 wrote: »

Expect the worst and hope for the best.

There's no point trying to second guess what she will or won't do, how she wants to be seen. Just focus on the things you do have control over.

Good point.

Looks like i might have my house earlier than planned! All checks being done today, I could be moving in by end of the week! Excited!!

Guest101

So a little update.

Ex got in contact - new telephone number and new email for discussions about DS.

Offering mediation again - Im not convinced it's going to work. So will be applying to the courts (i'll check with my solicitor, just in case)

Arranged to see DS on sunday. However, she's decided she needs to be there as well. I've got all the texts where I explain I'd rather she wasn't there, but she's insisted.

Pixie5740

Mediation might not work but you may as well play along for now to show you are committed to a peaceful resolution.

Have you mentioned to your solicitor that she is insisting on being there during your visit? After the non-molestation order I'd be very wary about being anywhere near her.

Guest101

Pixie5740 wrote: »

Mediation might not work but you may as well play along for now to show you are committed to a peaceful resolution.

Have you mentioned to your solicitor that she is insisting on being there during your visit? After the non-molestation order I'd be very wary about being anywhere near her.

Ye good point.

It's in a public place with lots of people around, so I think i'll be ok.

The order has been discharged, so i'm not under any immediate threat. But i'm going to be very careful about what i say and do anyway. And record any interaction we have

Pixie5740

I wouldn't put it past her to make a massive scene in public with plenty of witnesses around.

The order might have been discharged but as you say you have to be very careful about what you say and do.

I'd definitely check with your solicitor. You never know her hampering your visits with DS might go against her.

Guest101

Pixie5740 wrote: »

I wouldn't put it past her to make a massive scene in public with plenty of witnesses around.

The order might have been discharged but as you say you have to be very careful about what you say and do.

I'd definitely check with your solicitor. You never know her hampering your visits with DS might go against her.

I'll record whatever i can.

I think refusing contact might go against me. But I've got my diary, so will keep it updated.

I too wouldn't put it past her, so any sign of trouble and i'll grab the nearest witness.

Mojisola

Pixie5740 wrote: »

I wouldn't put it past her to make a massive scene in public with plenty of witnesses around.

This is what I though, too. What if she suddenly started screaming and thrashing around, shouting accusations at you? You can bet that there would several 'eye witnesses' who would be certain that they had seen you do something to her.

I would refuse to spend time with her at all and want a third party to do the hand-overs. If she totally refuses, could you take someone else with you as a neutral observer?

ecgirl07

Mojisola wrote: »

This is what I though, too. What if she suddenly started screaming and thrashing around, shouting accusations at you? You can bet that there would several 'eye witnesses' who would be certain that they had seen you do something to her.

I would refuse to spend time with her at all and want a third party to do the hand-overs. If she totally refuses, could you take someone else with you as a neutral observer?

Was just going to suggest this, can you take your parents or a friend for witness back up she may be less likely to start something if they are there. Also tell her to sit away from you and your son so you at least get "father/son" alone time not "family time with mum/dad/son".

Guest101

Thanks for the advice, I will defintely record the interactions.

I will see if a friend can come along. No family around here.

I will try to keep in CCTV covered areas, or atleast be aware of her mood and walk away if required.

So strange, she wants to change the undertaking already. It's 3 days later and she wants to remove some of the criteria.

This is what i mean by blowing hot and cold in rapid succesion.