Can anyone help please?

woodsig

Hi there

I don't know which section to put this in but it involves family so I'll just put it here.

I'm 20 and have a full time job working 9-5 in an office, not the best but will do. I'm having the problem where I will get home and will have no post (i live with my parents so not really expecting much!) but whatever post I expect, half the time I never get, this is because my mum will read my post and keep it from me. This has stemmed up many arguments in the past (letters from banks or whatever) and it seemed to stop but recently letters I know I've been expecting hasn't turned up, yet again. I thought it may just be me I might be paranoid, but I came home from work on my lunch break (my mum was on a business trip in Wales for the day) and I noticed I had post which I left thinking I'll see what there is at the end of the day.

I get home and low and behold, no post, no mention of it or anything. Now that I know the problem I need to find a solution, I don't know where to start or look at getting the royal mail to withdraw delivering it to my house and I just collect it from my local post office?

I'm a reasonable person but I think this is just a very sad and intruding case and definitely against the law. I'm not trying to land my mum in trouble or anything and I don't want to confront her about it as it will get way out of hand. My step-dad works away quite often so I can't exactly say anything yet!

Like anyone I still get post that is important and can't have my mum keeping it from me etc.

If anyone can help must appreciated

woodsig

Georgiegirl256

You could look into setting up a PO Box http://www.royalmail.com/personal/receiving-mail/po-box

Why on earth is your Mum doing it though? I don't think I'd be able to stop myself confronting her if it was me. I'd want to know why she thinks she has the right to do it. Not only that, does she not know that opening someone else's mail is illegal?

McKneff

Opening someone elses post is not illegal, only if the person who opens it intends to use the contents in an illegal manner.


OP, you must speak to your mum, tell you you are a big girl now and to stop opening /hiding your post.


Tell her she needs to start treating you like an adult or you will act like an adult and find somewere else to live.


Could you ask permission to have your mail sent to work....

woodsig

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

You could look into setting up a PO Box

Why on earth is your Mum doing it though? I don't think I'd be able to stop myself confronting her if it was me. I'd want to know why she thinks she has the right to do it. Not only that, does she not know that opening someone else's mail is illegal?

Thank you. I will look at that now.

I don't know, we get along very well and I don't know why it happens. I've sometimes turned the house round three times when nobody is there to see if there is any post but nothing. She does I'm guessing because I vented about it once on social media around this time last year (immature but hey!) and my mom actually managed to find my profile and let a dig into saying 'people ought to be careful what they post online, what comes around goes around'. I sometimes question whether I actually know her, I cannot fathom why this happens.

woodsig

woodsig

McKneff wrote: »

Opening someone elses post is not illegal, only if the person who opens it intends to use the contents in an illegal manner.


OP, you must speak to your mum, tell you you are a big girl now and to stop opening /hiding your post.


Tell her she needs to start treating you like an adult or you will act like an adult and find somewere else to live.


Could you ask permission to have your mail sent to work....

Blackmailing me into saying if I don't sort out this bank something or sort out my phone bill etc (I had one direct debit fail last year and my mom opened that post) she will show the post to my dad and get me kicked out/car taken off me etc.

custardy

woodsig wrote: »

Thank you. I will look at that now.

I don't know, we get along very well and I don't know why it happens. I've sometimes turned the house round three times when nobody is there to see if there is any post but nothing. She does I'm guessing because I vented about it once on social media around this time last year (immature but hey!) and my mom actually managed to find my profile and let a dig into saying 'people ought to be careful what they post online, what comes around goes around'. I sometimes question whether I actually know her, I cannot fathom why this happens.

woodsig

Expensive and not needed.
Organise a free mail collect

http://www.royalmail.com/sites/default/files/MailCollect_Application_Feb12.pdf

j.e.j.

Oh my God. I used to have a boyfriend whose mum opened his post (he was about 17 or 18 at the time, I guess). At the time I thought it was outrageous that someone's mum could be so prying. My own parents never opened my mail, even the rare few letters I received as a kid. If it's addressed to you it's YOUR mail. How would she like it if you did the same to her, I wonder!

PO Boxes can be quite expensive, but if you let the bank know that yours is a shared mailbox and others are opening your mail they will be able to sort something out. Maybe going paperless, or getting your bills electronically, I'm not sure.

It's not illegal to open someone's mail (though it should be!!) but it's damn well discourteous.

tea_lover

Send yourself a letter saying something along the lines off "p off you nosy mare". See if she keeps doing it after she's opened that one.

woodsig

custardy wrote: »

Expensive and not needed.
Organise a free mail collect/QUOTE]

Thanks. I know there is a number to call which I will shall call tomorrow but won't they send me any letters to say it has all been set up?!

So this is all free? No fees etc if I just literally go there once a week and check if there is any post for me?

woodsig

Soleil_lune

McKneff wrote: »

Opening someone elses post is not illegal, only if the person who opens it intends to use the contents in an illegal manner.

OP, you must speak to your mum, tell you you are a big girl now and to stop opening /hiding your post.

Tell her she needs to start treating you like an adult or you will act like an adult and find somewere else to live.

Could you ask permission to have your mail sent to work....

If that is the case, then maybe the OP should start opening his mother's mail. I would.

I understand that there is some truth in that statement, like if some mail comes for an ex tenant or ex owner of the property, you can open the mail (as long as you don't do anything lalicious with it,) but surely if the person LIVES at the property; that would be a different matter?

Maybe someone could clarify this?

OP, I would get a P.O. Box or look into the service someone mentioned.

woodsig wrote: »

Blackmailing me into saying if I don't sort out this bank something or sort out my phone bill etc (I had one direct debit fail last year and my mom opened that post) she will show the post to my dad and get me kicked out/car taken off me etc.

woodsig wrote: »

Thank you. I will look at that now.

I don't know, we get along very well and I don't know why it happens. I've sometimes turned the house round three times when nobody is there to see if there is any post but nothing. She does I'm guessing because I vented about it once on social media around this time last year (immature but hey!) and my mom actually managed to find my profile and let a dig into saying 'people ought to be careful what they post online, what comes around goes around'. I sometimes question whether I actually know her, I cannot fathom why this happens.

woodsig

Your mother sounds like a control freak, and very petty threatening you after looking at your social media comments,.... but I have to ask, how can she 'take your car off you?' Surely she didn't give you your car? :huh:

j.e.j.

woodsig wrote: »

Thanks. I know there is a number to call which I will shall call tomorrow but won't they send me any letters to say it has all been set up?!

So this is all free? No fees etc if I just literally go there once a week and check if there is any post for me?

woodsig

That's a very good point. If she finds out that you're using the mail collect service would you mother go to the lengths of taking your passport/id and going to the royal mail to get your mail? :eek: It's better that she doesn't find out about it, AND/OR you need to start getting more assertive with her.