Not competitive

jc808

ive never even met you, let alone am your boyfriend, and I already want to break up with you.

BrassicWoman

Sometimes I deliberately let other people win at games because I know it will make them really happy and I do not care. The trick is just playing badly enough. So I'm not playing the same game as them, but I'm enjoying mine more.

:-)

Georgiegirl256

BrassicWoman wrote: »

Sometimes I deliberately let other people win at games because I know it will make them really happy and I do not care. The trick is just playing badly enough. So I'm not playing the same game as them, but I'm enjoying mine more.

:-)

If you're playing against a child maybe? But to play against another adult and purposely let them win....defeats the whole object of even playing in the first place.

I play a game/sport/whatever because I want to win on my own merits....not to have someone let me win. To win and then find out someone had let you win would take the shine of it and totally take away that sense of achievement.

Maybe the OP's husband feels she is doing that (not applying herself and letting others win), and if it can apply to something is innocent as a board game then maybe it extends to other areas in her life as well. She says this isn't the case, but maybe that how the husband is viewing it? Anyhow, there are ways and means of doing something, and I hope they're talking again and have sorted things out by now.

lulu_92

I don't recall the OP saying that she "gives up" when playing board games, she just doesn't feel that winning is the crux of her enjoyment.

One of my favourite games is Scattegories. Half the time I had no idea what the answers were so I winged it and we'd end up having a laugh about the silly responses, no matter how serious the players were.

It is about the fun. With things like Trivial Pursuit you either know the answer or you don't.

I find some of the responses odd as OP has said she is fine with him being competitive and he's the one that has basically said that her feelings are wrong. At the end of the day who are we to say if her enjoyment does not equal that of a competitive person?

I'll echo a PP and say that for some people the enjoyment comes from the journey, not the destination.

Georgiegirl256

lulu_92 wrote: »

I don't recall the OP saying that she "gives up" when playing board games, she just doesn't feel that winning is the crux of her enjoyment.

I didn't say that she did, I said maybe that is how her husband is viewing it?

lulu_92

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I didn't say that she did, I said maybe that is how her husband is viewing it?

I know, that's what I'm saying. He can view it that way all he likes but:
1) He surely knew this about OP when he married her so why has it only recently become an issue?
2) She doesn't have to change for anyone, especially as she hasn't acted the same way about his competitiveness
3) How is the OP to know how he feels if his approach is to ignore any discussion and bury his head in the sand?


I think OP needs to hold a game night so we can see for ourselves:p:D;)

purpleshoes_2

I think the op said he had mentioned it years ago and its come to a head again?

What happened to accepting people as they are? The you aren't good enough as you are message comes across loud and clear, she's being belittled as far as I'm concerned.

So what if she's not competitive, is anything major going to happen to the people around her if she's not? Is it the end of the world as we know it?

Talk about a mountain out of a molehill. You don't climb high enough, you aren't competitive enough, shock horror you didn't want to go out for an evening and play board games with friends who talk about you behind your back?

She's being disrespected by her husband, that's sad.

Georgiegirl256

lulu_92 wrote: »

I know, that's what I'm saying. He can view it that way all he likes but:
1) He surely knew this about OP when he married her so why has it only recently become an issue?

A constant defeatist attitude where people appear to not even want to try (not saying that about the OP, just in general) can get very tiring after a while. Maybe everything is just coming to a head now.

2) She doesn't have to change for anyone, especially as she hasn't acted the same way about his competitiveness

3) How is the OP to know how he feels if his approach is to ignore any discussion and bury his head in the sand?

I agree. They need to talk.


I think OP needs to hold a game night so we can see for ourselves:p:D;)

Bagsy the iron if we're playing monopoly!

lulu_92

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Bagsy the iron if we're playing monopoly!

I'm always the top hat

I do agree, although I think a constant competitive attitude can be just as tiring.

Talking is key, they need to find a compromise. Maybe they play a team game and he helpfully shows her the pros of strategic playing against other people? (not in a patronising way, I mean in a teamwork sense, but I think this would only work in games where you play to trip the other players up) Maybe she can show him how it can be relaxing to not worry about winning or losing all of the time?

missprice

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Bagsy the iron if we're playing monopoly!

lulu_92 wrote: »

I'm always the top hat

I do agree, although I think a constant competitive attitude can be just as tiring.

Talking is key, they need to find a compromise. Maybe they play a team game and he helpfully shows her the pros of strategic playing against other people? Maybe she can show him how it can be relaxing to not worry about winning or losing all of the time?

I'm the car thanks very much, and in an hour I will just leave cos its the most boringest game ever. Will split my money/houses/hotels between you both though if that's OK. :rotfl:

Agree they both need to talk this out.