Renovations and Repayments.

AlexLK

No alcohol - 7/28.
No sweet treats - 4/31, .
No meat - 2/10.
Walking - 7/31 14,000 steps.
Savings - £0. :rotfl:, not sure why I set myself a savings target at the moment. I'm struggling to do anything towards earning some extra money as I'm hardly sleeping.
Going to bed at a reasonable time - 0/31, hardly slept at all last night, went to sleep at around 3.30-4.00am and was up at 7.45am. Trying to stay positive is getting harder.

newgirly wrote: »

Yes. If she had her way I'd go back and we'd visit our son at my parents'. It's not that she doesn't want to be a part of his life, just that she doesn't want the day to day parenting aspect.


:eek::eek::eek: ok I have no words for this (not ones that would post anyway!)

Well, it clearly isn't going to happen. My wife says her only problem with me is that I put our son before her (spend time with him rather than going out / staying in as a couple).

LadyGnome

AlexLK wrote: »

My wife says her only problem with me is that I put our son before her (spend time with him rather than going out / staying in as a couple).

My reaction is similar to newgirly's and equally unprintable.
Your wife sounds incredibly self absorbed (possibly self-centred). Most parents put their children first most of the time.

I pay my council tax monthly over 10 months by direct debit so the work is done for me. The two council tax free months I still budget for the money going out and then split it between the mortgage and my two savings pots (children and big holiday).

badmemory

I'm beginning to think that she has not got over the postnatal depression which I am sure I remember you once saying she had. Do you think that is possible? Is it possible that it has prevented her from "bonding"? Is the counselling just for your marriage or could it also cover this?

Suffolk_lass

LadyGnome wrote: »

I pay my council tax monthly over 10 months by direct debit so the work is done for me. The two council tax free months I still budget for the money going out and then split it between the mortgage and my two savings pots (children and big holiday).

I do that too - except mine goes towards the household buildings and contents renewal at the end of March which is always more than double everyone else's (because my house is non-standard and most insurers won't touch it). - Being a local authority they do not charge interest for spreading the cost.

Definitely worth considering

SL

AlexLK

LadyGnome wrote: »

My reaction is similar to newgirly's and equally unprintable.
Your wife sounds incredibly self absorbed (possibly self-centred). Most parents put their children first most of the time.

She can be self absorbed, is the kind of person who thinks her work is extremely important and the company wouldn't function without her. Since one colleague left and hasn't been replaced, she's become worse in that aspect as she is now the only one there who does certain things and she has a certain amount of staff and project management to deal with. That carries over into her personal life but the responsibility she takes very seriously at work doesn't.

LadyGnome wrote: »

I pay my council tax monthly over 10 months by direct debit so the work is done for me. The two council tax free months I still budget for the money going out and then split it between the mortgage and my two savings pots (children and big holiday).

Suffolk_lass wrote: »

I do that too - except mine goes towards the household buildings and contents renewal at the end of March which is always more than double everyone else's (because my house is non-standard and most insurers won't touch it). - Being a local authority they do not charge interest for spreading the cost.

Definitely worth considering

SL

We used to pay monthly for 10 months but it wasn't a Direct Debit, we did it through our online banking and there were times I forgot to pay until a letter came. I don't think I'd be so disorganised now as I have a spreadsheet that tells me dates. I will have a chat with my wife to see if she would be OK with paying monthly as that would make things easier. If our LA does Direct Debit payment, that would be better still.

Thanks, both.

badmemory wrote: »

I'm beginning to think that she has not got over the postnatal depression which I am sure I remember you once saying she had. Do you think that is possible? Is it possible that it has prevented her from "bonding"? Is the counselling just for your marriage or could it also cover this?

My wife didn't have postnatal depression, she was unsure about whether parenting was for her before we decided to have our son. I thought parenting was for me and was proven right as I greatly enjoy most aspects. With the experience of trying parenting (she was better when he was younger as made more an effort to see if parenting was for her) she decided that parenting wasn't something she is fond of. People on here have asked re. postnatal depression before, so that's probably where you've picked this up from. To be honest, she'd be livid at the suggestion she's got / had a mental health condition because she don't enjoy parenting. I do understand why this annoys her as I don't think you'd be trying to infer there was something wrong with me if I was the one who wasn't close to my son.

She doesn't dislike our son and enjoys playing with him when she wants to but hates day-to-day parenting. I imagine she'll probably get on well with him as an adult when he doesn't need the same amount of reassurance and care. If we don't stay together I'm fairly certain she won't be absent, just won't want him to stay at her house. She's very strict with her sleep routine (unlike me :rotfl:) and hates to be woken up, apparently the thought of being woken in the night stresses her, she also likes her morning routine not to be messed with which our son inevitably does in some way or another.

The counselling is for our marriage unless she decides that she wants to discuss her relationship with our son which I doubt as she sees nothing wrong with it. She knows he is cared for and is happy. I find it sad as I suppose I wanted my son to have two parents who put the effort that neither of my parents ever did.

AlexLK

No alcohol - 8/28.
No sweet treats - 4/31, .
No meat - 2/10.
Walking - 8/31 14,000 steps.
Savings - £0.
Going to bed at a reasonable time - 0/31, got a reasonable amount of sleep but slept in as it was 3.00am before I went to bed. :mad:

Other news:
Filled my MGB with petrol to use for the week - £1.30 per litre for super :eek: :eek: only for my son to ask if we can keep using father's XJ. :rotfl:
After checking online banking I'm owed £150 from music pupils.

misscousinitt

Pointless on the sweet treats till they have all disappeared! I never make myself this promise till all the Christmas biscuits and chocolates have gone...usually February.

Best of luck with trying though - you have a 50% success rate so far which is much better than mine!

MCI

Watty1

Sleep still messed up here too!

AlexLK

misscousinitt wrote: »

Pointless on the sweet treats till they have all disappeared! I never make myself this promise till all the Christmas biscuits and chocolates have gone...usually February.

Best of luck with trying though - you have a 50% success rate so far which is much better than mine!

MCI

We don't have any Christmas biscuits / chocolates left now but don't get many in the first instance. I also count any puddings in with 'sweet treats', that's were I've mainly fell down.

Watty1 wrote: »

Sleep still messed up here too!

Not pleased to hear I'm not the only one. I do think I'll always be fighting the sleep problems, for some reason I cannot get into a sensible routine and on the occasions I do, I am very lucky if it lasts beyond a week.

AlexLK

No alcohol - 9/28.
No sweet treats - 5/31, .
No meat - 2/10.
Walking - 9/31 9,000 steps.
Savings - £0.
Going to bed at a reasonable time - 0/31.