Renovations and Repayments.

slowlyfading

Mega sleep issues here too

AlexLK

No alcohol - 10/28.
No sweet treats - 5/31, had a really bad day food wise and already feel ill for it.
No meat - 2/10.
Walking - 9/31 12,000 steps.
Savings - £0.
Going to bed at a reasonable time - 0/31.

Largely had a positive and productive day today. I almost decided to concede and go back to the house today, my wife is really upset but I still think in the long run something will work out for the better with this time apart so I've stuck with it. If I go back it must be because things have moved on and I fully believe we can move forward rather than going back because she is upset. In a really strange way I miss not trying to overpay the mortgage but I don't really see that as a reason to move back yet. Can see the counselling meeting now "why did you move back?" "Overpayment goals" ... :rotfl: As much as I disliked saving for things for the house - roof etc. because it seems like the money has gone for nothing when renovation has happened I now really want to complete the place.

Tomorrow I'm going to start working on some plans to start saving some money of my own again.

AlexLK

slowlyfading wrote: »

Mega sleep issues here too

You can't sleep or is your son waking you?

hiddenshadow

AlexLK wrote: »

In a really strange way I miss not trying to overpay the mortgage but I don't really see that as a reason to move back yet. Can see the counselling meeting now "why did you move back?" "Overpayment goals" ... :rotfl:

:rotfl:

That would be amazing. I wonder what the counsellor would even say to that?

In all seriousness, well done you for not going back. I do hope that you can work through this and reunite in your house, but as you say it has to be because something significant has changed.

As much as I disliked saving for things for the house - roof etc. because it seems like the money has gone for nothing when renovation has happened I now really want to complete the place.

Being able to see the big picture really helps for motivation.

slowlyfading

AlexLK wrote: »

You can't sleep or is your son waking you?

Both, unfortunately

gallygirl

Not the best reason to go back Alex - but neither is me hoping you don't go back yet as I want to hear what your father makes of his new healthy eating regime :rotfl:. You do sound more positive which is great :T.

maman

It's good that you can see a future for you and MrsK but now you have the opportunity to start afresh on a different footing you really mustn't just drift back.
OK MrsK might agree to whatever at counselling because she's finding it hard to cope alone without you to wait on her hand and foot but you need to at least give it a try.
If she doesn't stick to whatever she promises/agrees at least you've tried and you're just back to where you are now.:)

AlexLK

hiddenshadow wrote: »

:rotfl:

That would be amazing. I wonder what the counsellor would even say to that?

In all seriousness, well done you for not going back. I do hope that you can work through this and reunite in your house, but as you say it has to be because something significant has changed.


Being able to see the big picture really helps for motivation.

:rotfl: I think it's one of the few times that "WTAF" may actually be appropriate. Mind, they already know I'm crazy ... I forgot to take a pen and couldn't stop thinking about how bad my handwriting is with a ballpoint pen - it's awful as I've always written with a fountain pen. They reckoned that they could read my writing but all I could see was a messy scrawl.

I hope we can work things out.

Yes, I want to finish the everlasting project. Much prefer this house but I do think I'd like to finish the project and pay the mortgage off on the other house. Son calls the other house "home" which I find strange, this is "grandparents' house" to him. Or just for maman ... "the big house".

slowlyfading wrote: »

Both, unfortunately

Sorry to hear that. Are you still using the techniques with your son that you started a few months back? If so, what's changed.

gallygirl wrote: »

Not the best reason to go back Alex - but neither is me hoping you don't go back yet as I want to hear what your father makes of his new healthy eating regime :rotfl:. You do sound more positive which is great :T.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Father is OK with eating more healthily but it's only 10 days in and he has already made requests for some heart attack inducing things. Mind, today was not a healthy food day!

AlexLK

maman wrote: »

It's good that you can see a future for you and MrsK but now you have the opportunity to start afresh on a different footing you really mustn't just drift back.
OK MrsK might agree to whatever at counselling because she's finding it hard to cope alone without you to wait on her hand and foot but you need to at least give it a try.
If she doesn't stick to whatever she promises/agrees at least you've tried and you're just back to where you are now.:)

Thanks, maman.

You are right, I don't want to drift back. That's why I'm still here for the moment as I think we need some distance for a while to be able to start afresh on a different footing.

I think she's starting to realise that her agreeing to suit herself at counselling, then back to what was happening isn't going to result in me just pretending it's not happening. She's been very upset, convinced that no matter what happens I am not going to go back etc. I am guilty for making her upset as I could have just pretended everything is fine again but that wouldn't be fair to either of us or our son.

badmemory

Please don't allow yourself to be manipulated about anything. Having been the subject of multiple manipulations (parents and ex - they learnt from one another) this is not any road to happiness. Focus on - your son loves you and you are an excellent father. All else is - well pretty much irrelevant! I also know that it is a lot easier to be strong for your son than it is for any other scenario.

Please remember that you are not responsible for an adults happiness (that is their own problem) but you are responsible for a little one's happiness. So far in this area you are doing great.