Appropriate? Disrespectful?

Mojisola

shoe*diva79 wrote: »

DD said that her father pushed her to fast on a roundabout and she came off hitting her face.

Do you believe her or could she have told to say this?

*max*

You posted at the same time I did, sorry.

I would not be happy about the injury, and I would not be happy about DD sleeping in the same bed as a woman how has not been allowed to have contact with her for so long. Your ex not replying is really telling, it probably means he knows what happened was wrong.

I'd take her to the Dr tomorrow too, to check that there isn't any damage to her eye or inside her mouth.

meritaten

yes - GP visit to get injury documented. I understand you are upset - I would be too. BUT the injury COULD be accidental as DD says. but, what is ex thinking of? allowing DD to co-sleep with him and GF? that's just stupid. doesn't DD have her own bed in her own room? did she get up and go in with them?

splishsplash

shoe*diva79 wrote: »

Some of you may remember my previous threads regarding some verbal abuse my now 4 year old daughter received from her fathers partner last year.

Since then we have been in and out of court and due to go back again in 8 weeks. Contact has been taking place and until this weekend just gone, his GF was not allowed any access to my daughter. From this weekend just gone, she was allowed to see her, but not be left alone with her.

Anyway, DD has come home today firstly with a black eye and red/swollen cheek but also to say that she slept in the same bed as her father and his GF.

I dont feel comfortable with this and wondered what others opinions are. Its not so much her father I am bothered about, but the GF who DD has not had any contact with since Aug last year. Its really upset me to the point of breaking down infront of DD.

My opinion is that pigs would fly before I'd let my four year old baby near those people again.

Mojisola

shoe*diva79 wrote: »

also to say that she slept in the same bed as her father and his GF.

Is this the couple who sleep in the nude?

sweetme

splishsplash wrote: »

My opinion is that pigs would fly before I'd let my four year old baby near those people again.

This exactly.

Strangulation marks, a black eye, co-sleeping with a verbally abusive "stranger". Not a chance I'd be letting my children anywhere near!

double_mummy

i dont think it matters whether they sleep in the nude or not its more of a closeness thing that is inappropriate your child does not know this woman and she is sleeping in bed with her it is completely wrong

i am concerned with the injuries this is obviously not a safe place for your child to be i would take them to doctors first thing in the morning and i would be logging this with every agency possible

Annisele

I'd be as bothered about the father as the GF.

Accidents do happen, but that doesn't explain why the father didn't tell OP about the accident himself. Nor does it explain why the father thought cosleeping with somebody his daughter wasn't allowed to see until last week was OK.

At best, I think the father is an idiot with no ability to put himself in somebody else's shoes. If he'd thought at all, he'd have realised that sending a four-year-old home with an unexplained black eye was going to cause all sorts of questions. And that's at best; the "at worst" position is rather different.

I don't have children, but if somebody else's child told me this happened to them I'd be calling social services.

shoe*diva79

Sorry for the delay in replying. He called me back, I dont know how to multi quote but ill try and answer you all.

Firstly, he just said the same as DD, well, he said she face planted the floor at the playground. DD said he was spinning her fast ion round about so stories practically the same.

I asked about the co sleeping and he 100% denies it and said that the only thing thats happened is DD has come into their bed in the morning jumping around and wanting to be playful. He said DD woke at 5.30am coughing and spluttering and he put her back in her own bed and comforted her there. I hopefully got across to him how inappropriate and disrespectful I find co sleeping so if it has happened then hopefully it wont again.

I cant stop her going (trust me, I would in a heartbeat) because its all court ordered. A brief background, DD was called a 'little *female dog word*' back in August by her fathers GF when she was babysitting whilst DD father at work. I found out by pure accident ( DD fell over and I called her a silly sausage, she responded that she was a 'little b****). I tried to talk to ex and he refused. I wouldnt let DD go to him unsupervised as he wouldnt agree to his GF not being there so he stopped seeing her. Roll on to Dec and he took me to court for enforcement of the contact order. It was agreed in court for contact to resume but with his GF not allowed to be there. Then last Thursday was a review and his GF now allowed to see her but not left alone. We have to go back to court late April as he is pushing for 'enforcement' which basically means I could get fined, community service or even prison if the judges deem that I have been breaking the order without good reason.

At the time it all started happening (last Aug) I sought advice from CAFCASS and Children's Services (Social services?) so I am hoping that I wont be punished for trying to protect my daughter. But ex said he wants to make an example of me.

shoe*diva79

Should also mention, no one has ever spoken to DD about the verbal abuse as the court said she is to young (she was 3 at the time, was 4 in November). So everyone (the magistrates, CAFCASS etc) all keep referring to it as alleged.