Appropriate? Disrespectful?

fivetide

Have you asked your daughter about the sleeping?


The injury sounds totally accidental and both back each other up. The key issue there is the one that has been highlighted - not telling you what to expect which caused you to worry and all sorts of terrible thoughts being thrown out.


The sleeping thing also sounds like it might not have happened like you are imagining. I would ask again and see if DD says she spent the night with them (unlikely I think because it wouldn't be comfy if nothing else) or came in early morning, had a cuddle with dad before getting up.


Whilst you can't help but speculate it seems best to try to establish, as far as possible, what the facts might be in terms of what happened. That way you know how to proceed.

shoe*diva79

Ive checked her over and no other visible marks. Been trying to contact the doctors surgery all morning with no luck so am popping in there are lunch.

notanewuser

shoe*diva79 wrote: »

I hopefully got across to him how inappropriate and disrespectful I find co sleeping so if it has happened then hopefully it wont again.

:huh: Inappropriate and disrespectful? How so?

shoe*diva79

Inappropriate that my 4 year old child should share a bed with a women who has verbally abused her to the point that she was not allowed ANY contact with her (court ordered) until Friday and hadnt seen her since mid August last year.

Disrespectful to me, I wonder if the boot was on the other foot and DD was telling her father that she sleeps with a man how her father would feel.

shoe*diva79

fivetide wrote: »

Have you asked your daughter about the sleeping?


The injury sounds totally accidental and both back each other up. The key issue there is the one that has been highlighted - not telling you what to expect which caused you to worry and all sorts of terrible thoughts being thrown out.


The sleeping thing also sounds like it might not have happened like you are imagining. I would ask again and see if DD says she spent the night with them (unlikely I think because it wouldn't be comfy if nothing else) or came in early morning, had a cuddle with dad before getting up.


Whilst you can't help but speculate it seems best to try to establish, as far as possible, what the facts might be in terms of what happened. That way you know how to proceed.

Sadly due to past experiences, DD father lies to save his own bacon so establishing the facts with him are difficult.

notanewuser

shoe*diva79 wrote: »

Inappropriate that my 4 year old child should share a bed with a women who has verbally abused her to the point that she was not allowed ANY contact with her (court ordered) until Friday and hadnt seen her since mid August last year.

Disrespectful to me, I wonder if the boot was on the other foot and DD was telling her father that she sleeps with a man how her father would feel.

Ah. The way you worded it it sounded as if you disagreed with all cosleeping. Thanks for clarifying.

I think it's up to dad whether your daughter sleeps in bed with him/comes in in the morning for a cuddle when she's with him. You've no right to dictate just as he has no right to dictate whether your DD sleeps with you.

That said, my 4 year old wouldn't be going anywhere near him until this was all ironed out. (I also wouldn't have had a child with a man with such a history.)

Mojisola

fivetide wrote: »

The injury sounds totally accidental and both back each other up.

This is the problem - if it happens as described, they would both tell the same story; if the injury wasn't accidental and Daddy said "We don't want Mummy to worry so tell her that you fell off the roundabout and bumped your head", they would both tell the same story.

shoe*diva79

Crikey, didnt realise how difficult it was to get a GP appt these days. Finally got through on the phone but am not able to make one, instead the triage team (since when did GP surgeries have triage!?) will call me to deem if an appt is needed.

shoe*diva79

notanewuser wrote: »

Ah. The way you worded it it sounded as if you disagreed with all cosleeping. Thanks for clarifying.

I think it's up to dad whether your daughter sleeps in bed with him/comes in in the morning for a cuddle when she's with him. You've no right to dictate just as he has no right to dictate whether your DD sleeps with you.

That said, my 4 year old wouldn't be going anywhere near him until this was all ironed out. (I also wouldn't have had a child with a man with such a history.)

I do not have any problem with DD having a cuddle with her father and getting into bed with him. I do have a problem with her getting into bed with him AND his GF who until just 4 days ago was not allowed to see DD at all and even now is not allowed to be left alone with her.

For the record, I would never allow DD to climb into bed with me if there was a man in bed as well. Because I find it inappropriate and disrespectful to my DD father.

duchy

I'd be telling the triage nurse there is a possibility of abuse and they'll fall over themselves to get you into the GP (actually I'd have said this to the receptionist and if still insisting on triage I'd have asked to see the practice manager.)