Etiquette after a first date?

geerex

Peter333 wrote: »

Please do enlarge on this.

What exactly do you mean by 'this goes into is the whole men hitting women argument...'

You say 'women want equal pay and equal rights, but then want to be first off the ship, they can't have it both' ways and so on, but then you say 'but that goes into the whole men hitting women argument.'

What is that supposed to mean? I am very curious. What is the whole 'men hitting women' argument?

He means women want equality but only when it suits them.
A lot of women think it's fine to hit men, but the minute a man hits them back... Yeah.

cashewnut

"A lot of women think it's fine to hit men."


Where on earth have you got that information from? Any statistics to back it up? It's not fine - it's completely unacceptable, as is men hitting women.


However if a hypothetical man and woman couple *were* to hit one another it would not be equal due to the likely disparity in physical strength!

Snakey

I'm glad I don't hang round with some of you guys! You move in circles where "a lot of women think it's fine to hit men"? I don't know many people over the age of three who think it's fine to hit anybody, and those I do know I try to keep my distance from because that's not the sort of lifestyle I want to be involved in.

I appreciate it when people, of either sex, are considerate towards me, and I try to be considerate towards others in return.

Brighton_belle

cashewnut wrote: »

"A lot of women think it's fine to hit men."


Where on earth have you got that information from? Any statistics to back it up? It's not fine - it's completely unacceptable, as is men hitting women.

I've lost count of the number of drama's ( and comedy's) where is seems it is ok for a woman to slap a man round the face or kick him in the nuts.
I always shout at the telly at that point that this is unacceptable : portraying it as ok to do this, and in the case of the nut kicking, often to raise a laugh.
Where as men portrayed as hitting women is always done in a 'this is domestic violence' sort of way.

aaa13ljsldjfldskj

cashewnut wrote: »

Do your dates know you're only after friendship though? When I was internet dating I was looking for a potential relationship, not a friendship!

I'm not sure and it bothers me. I think a dose of honestly is needed.

aaa13ljsldjfldskj

misspickle wrote: »

The best relationships grow from friendships. There is nothing wrong with taking things slow

Sorry to hear about your ex. It will fade in time.

Glad your date went well! Are you seeing her again?

Saturday's one..... Maybe not but I will tell her why.
Sunday's one..... I hope so but it will be very slow and thats fine by me.

aaa13ljsldjfldskj

The best line ever from first dates on channel 4...

A girl said... I want a man that would open the door for me but smack me on the bum as i walk through.

It made me smile.

System

cashewnut wrote: »

Do your dates know you're only after friendship though? When I was internet dating I was looking for a potential relationship, not a friendship!

I think if the other person is aware they're just looking for friendship that's ok, it may be a bit misleading otherwise, i think i'd feel slightly put out if i went on a date with someone only to discover they weren't looking for a relationship (as that's what i want ultimately), also i'd worry if someone still had strong feelings for an ex. I think its better to get those feelings out of the way before you start dating. BUT that said, there's nothing wrong with meeting people and making new friends (as long as they know your intentions)

aaa13ljsldjfldskj

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

I think if the other person is aware they're just looking for friendship that's ok, it may be a bit misleading otherwise, i think i'd feel slightly put out if i went on a date with someone only to discover they weren't looking for a relationship (as that's what i want ultimately), also i'd worry if someone still had strong feelings for an ex. I think its better to get those feelings out of the way before you start dating. BUT that said, there's nothing wrong with meeting people and making new friends (as long as they know your intentions)

You're 100% true and I agree with you.

I need to work out what the best thing to do is because its not healthy to have feelings for an ex when its one sided.

I'm not a player to use a phrase, so I will do the right thing.

System

dRic40 wrote: »

You're 100% true and I agree with you.

I need to work out what the best thing to do is because its not healthy to have feelings for an ex when its one sided.

I'm not a player to use a phrase, so I will do the right thing.

I've rushed into things myself, when i split with my ex last year, i found myself on online dating and threw myself into it thinking it would help me get over my ex. What happened was i ended up falling a bit too fast and quick for someone who really wasn't so compatible and ended up getting hurt. I knew i'd rushed into it, which is what i meant about not still having feelings for an ex. This time round i ended the relationship and was already kind of over it before we split, so i've not felt like i've moved on too quickly this time.

Its good to take things slow and get to know someone, and in time you'll feeel ready for that next step. There's no rush. Just look after yourself first and do things when you feel 100% ready for them.