Etiquette after a first date?

misspickle_2

VfM4meplse wrote: »

Then she doesn't deserve to be treated like a lady. You're treating her nicely, she could at least have the grace to accept your consideration.

There is one act that costs nothing but totally raises my opinion of a man: taking the kerb-side of the pavement. It's a small thing that to me speaks volumes!

Hahaha! I'm glad you mentioned the kerb thing! I've always made my daughter walk on the inside for safety and its so engrained in her that she always notices it if someone tries to place her on the outside. The lad would drastically go down in her estimation.

And the only way I'd be calling someone names is if they let a door shut in my face. I would find that so rude.
Manners cost nothing.
The same as if I saw a man/woman/child struggling I would help them or I would open doors if they were carrying bags etc. Its just being decent and thoughtful.

Many many moons ago I was taken out for a meal by a very wealthy businessman who spoke to the waitress like a bit of dirt. I tore a strip off him for it and went home. It was the biggest turn off ever.

VestanPance

Snakey wrote: »

Did this really happen? I see variations on this theme so many times on the internet but I have never in my life witnessed it! What was the context?

It did happen. It's not common to get verbal abuse for it, but it does happen. More often it's a glare or a tut!

The context was I was walking into a shop and held the door open for the person behind me. I'd have done the same if it was a bloke.

On the flip side I did get complimented a few weeks ago when I gave up my seat on the train so two women who had just gotten on could sit down together.

poorlittlefish

Update, as requested...


Basically, there's nothing to report. I've heard nothing from him since Tuesday morning. I have a date with someone else tomorrow and have already made plans for two nights next week. I've been in relationships previously where it was me making all the effort or the bloke was playing mind games. I'm not going to be stupid enough to get into that again, so he'll get the one text over the weekend and that'll be it.

Slinky

VfM4meplse wrote: »

There is one act that costs nothing but totally raises my opinion of a man: taking the kerb-side of the pavement. It's a small thing that to me speaks volumes!

My Dad always used to do this and I think it made him feel really uncomfortable if he wasn't on the kerb side. He also used to open the car door for me too when going back to the car. Bless him, I miss those things.

OH occasionally insists on walking on the kerb side, not quite sure why he's started this!

misspickle_2

poorlittlefish wrote: »

Update, as requested...


Basically, there's nothing to report. I've heard nothing from him since Tuesday morning. I have a date with someone else tomorrow and have already made plans for two nights next week. I've been in relationships previously where it was me making all the effort or the bloke was playing mind games. I'm not going to be stupid enough to get into that again, so he'll get the one text over the weekend and that'll be it.

Better luck next time. At least your out there and having fun and open minded.
Good luck to you.
Let us know how your other dates go
I would love to hear all about them.
Im such a nosey moo with no social life so I'm relying on updates.
My dd is in GCSE years so I have another year of living like Mary Poppins.
After that who knows? I might get back in the saddle myself

Lunar_Eclipse

fivetide wrote: »

Now on the don't do list!

Well I would love it since it shows you cared.

My husband still waits up for me when I go out and it's one of the things I love about him. Last time I was out at the pub, within easy walking distance of home, he texted about 12.30/1am just checking everything was alright. So he wasn't immediately checking up on me (nice), but wanted to ensure I was safe. I do the same when he's out late in London, despite the fact neither of us has asked the other to do anything; I even say 'don't wait up' if he's got work the next day, but he says he doesn't mind and likes to know I'm home. Since it's not happening often, it doesn't bother either of us.

aileth

misspickle wrote: »

Hahaha! I'm glad you mentioned the kerb thing! I've always made my daughter walk on the inside for safety and its so engrained in her that she always notices it if someone tries to place her on the outside. The lad would drastically go down in her estimation.

Literally thought I was the only one who did the 'kerb' thing, certainly going by people in my city anyway!

I notice it even more as when I walk to work, I tend to hug the side of the building to enter into the front door. The amount of middle-aged business men who refuse to move out of the way and almost collide with me is incredible!

anotheruser

aileth wrote: »

The amount of middle-aged business men who refuse to move out of the way...

While I am am man who does the kerb thing too, I take a little offence at statements like this these days.

It's almost like women want equal pay and rights as men, and too right! But that the same time, they want to be saved from sinking ships before men - well you can't have it both ways.
But then that goes into the whole men hitting women argument, which is a whole new topic!


Anyway...



I think people are far too bothered about "etiquette" these days.

If you're interested in someone, why shouldn't you show that by texting a few times a day? It's not like in the olden days where pen pals was all there was. Now we have devices that can instantly send messages to other people.

Yes, there is a limit to what is nice and what is scary but generally, people don't reply to messages to appear "not that into you" when in actual fact, they are :P

Don't put all your eggs into him though at this early stage.
There may be other people waiting in the wings that would reply and would be interested in instigating a second date...

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This thread has actually made me really nervous.

I'm going on two first dates this weekend and I'm now really conscious that i may unwittingly cause offence by saying something like.... You look nice or shall we do this again....lol

Peter333

anotheruser wrote: »

While I am am man who does the kerb thing too, I take a little offence at statements like this these days.

It's almost like women want equal pay and rights as men, and too right! But that the same time, they want to be saved from sinking ships before men - well you can't have it both ways.

But then that goes into the whole men hitting women argument, which is a whole new topic!

...

Please do enlarge on this.

What exactly do you mean by 'this goes into is the whole men hitting women argument...'

You say 'women want equal pay and equal rights, but then want to be first off the ship, they can't have it both' ways and so on, but then you say 'but that goes into the whole men hitting women argument.'

What is that supposed to mean? I am very curious. What is the whole 'men hitting women' argument?