Etiquette after a first date?

onlyroz

Snakey wrote: »

The thing you may not be aware of is that these days, apparently, you're only exclusive if you've had a conversation and agreed you're exclusive.

With internet dating I think that it's fine to date multiple people until you meet somebody that you want to go beyond the peck-on-the-cheek stage with.

Jagraf

If you are left wondering what's going to happen with your time, I would be a bit cross.

It might not be anything to do with the date, but its a bit rude nit to answer you within a few hours. It suggests his time is more important than yours.

It might just be a one off, but keep an eye on it. It's not good manners.

fivetide

Another vote for the leave him alone camp. You have said yes, no need to chase unless he came across as super shy!

marisco_2

Step back, relax and enjoy things happening at a natural and easy pace. In the last 48 hours you have had a date with this guy, he has asked if you would like to meet again and suggested meeting up next week. That sounds like a normal level of contact to have with someone that you are just at the early stage of getting to know.

His conduct is not wishy washy or showing a lack of interest. Most likely he has a busy life to lead, a home to run and other important commitments to meet. Give him a chance to organise himself and come back to you. You don't want to be involved with someone who hangs on your every word and has nothing else to do with their time.

InsideInsurance

How was he for replying to messages etc before arranging the date? How long were you chatting (phone or message) prior to meeting?

If you've spoken to him 5 times a day for 6 months before meeting him and then he suddenly becomes taking a week to respond to anything without saying he was going to be working overseas or something then the silence probably should be telling.

If you spoke to him for 6 months but the reason it took that long is because he was always very slow in responding etc then it sounds more like its par for the course.

FBaby

Are you saying that he went from daily emails to no contact after seeing you and mentioning meeting again? Was it mainly him writing and you responding, vice versa or a bit of both?

I went on quite some dating site dates when I was single for donkey years, and I picked up a clear trend: if there are really interested, they will let you know. All those that gave me mixed messages have left me wasting my time trying to interpret them to then discovered they really didn't care to take things further.

MrTheOne told me that he would love to see me again, then texted me before I'd got home to say he really had a great time and couldn't wait to see me again, and then called me my evening to asked me if I was free the following Friday. No messing about!

I would leave it as it is, the ball is in his court, not just by proposing another date, but just resuming daily communication.

krlyr

FBaby wrote: »

Are you saying that he went from daily emails to no contact after seeing you and mentioning meeting again? Was it mainly him writing and you responding, vice versa or a bit of both?

I went on quite some dating site dates when I was single for donkey years, and I picked up a clear trend: if there are really interested, they will let you know. All those that gave me mixed messages have left me wasting my time trying to interpret them to then discovered they really didn't care to take things further.

MrTheOne told me that he would love to see me again, then texted me before I'd got home to say he really had a great time and couldn't wait to see me again, and then called me my evening to asked me if I was free the following Friday. No messing about!

I would leave it as it is, the ball is in his court, not just by proposing another date, but just resuming daily communication.

Totally agree with this. OH and I were messaging every day, throughout the day, ended up bring our first date forward, and then pretty much saw each other every day after that. I know dating is very individual (even dependant on the relationship - I never saw previous boyfriends that frequently!), but the thing that really stood out for me with OH is that there were no mind games. OK, some nerves - does he like me as much as I like him, is he genuine, is this going to last, etc. but there was never any of the "should I text him first, should I leave it 3 days, if I haven't heard from him in a week should I suggest meeting up" or anything - we both made it pretty obvious we wanted to see each other again, and we chatted just as much (if not more) via text etc. as we did before the first date.

BWZN93

themull1 wrote: »

I think he seems a bit wishy washy, not really committing to anything, a bit vague etc. I wouldn't reply. Was he nice on the date?

I agree. If he's interested he'll get back to you! Youve done the social nicety but by following up, balls in his court now.

You know, I've dated a few people like this, the wishy washy ones that take their stupid time and stuff. Never worked because they weren't that bothered ultimately. I knew it with my husband - no messing around; tied me down quickly and we never looked back :-)

trollopscarletwoman

JoBatch80 wrote: »

I knew it with my husband - no messing around; tied me down quickly and we never looked back :-)

Did he indeed, lol!

VfM4meplse

OP, forget it. A date that doesn't text you to see if you're back home safe lacks basic manners as well as consideration. (Isn't it standard practice amongst people that are friends?). I wouldn't even spare brain-space on the rest of his game-playing, but then I'm hardened by years of experience.

Surely you deserve more than that?