The single track road - life on a different path

Levi-

That is super interesting to hear the PPi story from that side Lilt!

Love atcha MeandO. How old is his daughter and ditto to the 'do they get on?', from Lilt.

xx

MeandO

His daughter's 6 and, yeah they seem to like playing with each other now.
She is, well, how can I put this?? Quite a bratty child who likes her own way - and knows that if she shouts and screams and throws tantrums for long enough she'll get whatever it is she wants. Don't get me wrong, Ds has his moments too, but he has been brought up to know right from wrong and 99.9% of the time, is such a good boy and is a pleasure to be around. He is very caring about other people and will always give his last X, Y or whatever up to someone else. He even asked if he could give one of his most favoured toys to a child at school as this child REALLY wanted it for Christmas and didn't get it, so was sad that Santa had 'forgot'.

Him's daughter is hard work to be honest and discipline and boundaries are pretty much non-existent with her. Him and I have had words about it as being around her for a few hours when she's in one of her 'moods' is enough to put everyone in a very bad mood and I'm not subjecting my son to that at weekends, but He finds it very difficult to say No to her due to the troubled nature of Him and his ex's terrible relationship and the way the child has suffered throughout their horrible split. I guess he feels guilty that she has gone through it, only sees her at weekends, so gives in all the time.
It doesn't wash with me though, and when she's at my house, she gets treated with the same rules as my boy. I mean, for Christ's sake, what 6 year old is still up ruling the roost at 11pm!????? The way she talks to Him is pretty disgusting too, she treats Him with utter disrespect and he seems to allow it. I guess it comes from her Mother.

As you can see, it is something that winds me up quite a lot and could well be a deal-breaker if it continues. As I said, I don't want that around O a lot, it's not fair on him or any of us, so I have spoken to Him and, without trying to tell him how to parent his child, am trying to explain o him that she will grow up with absolutely no respect for him or anyone else if she's allowed to act the way she does. Saying that, she is a lovely child when she is behaving, O and her love playing together and do so really nicely most of the time, and when she is with just me or me & Oscar, she is an angel.

Rant over!


So, I know I said I wouldn't be on the laptop late, but I've got O's school uniform for tomorrow in the dryer, so will be up for at least another hour.


AND... guess what I've done.... I've finaly set up YNAB with all the amounts and dates they come out in the category headings so that I can budget for things with the money I have, rather than forecasting for the month, then panicking when I didn't think I had enough, like I was doing before.
Feeling much happier about it now and can see how it will work for me.


I've budgeted what I have and am excited about getting paid on Friday so that I can budget the rest, until the tax credits and rest of the bits and bobs come in.
I haven't set up recurring payments yet, but will do that as I enter transactions rather than in one big hit.

I've also made and packed all the orders, ready to go out tomorrow. Ds's T-shirt is printed for his school event too, so have hit lots of birds with one stone tonight.


Diet has gone out of the window today, but think I was so hungry from not really eating yesterday that everything that didn't move was shoved into my mouth... line drawn under today.

Just have to write the cheque for the SAR tonight and then wind down for bed.


Goodnight all
xx

hummingbird

Well done for getting to grips with YNAB.... do you have the software? I made a start with it a while back and attended some webinars, but have got a bit waylaid with it recentlly!!

MeandO

Hi hummingbird, yes, I bought it at the beginning of the year and have made several false starts with it, but I think now I'm understanding it better.
I have watched one or two of the webinars on you tube, but found the forums more helpful to be honest. I was over-complicating it before and don't follow it to the tee - like my debt is off budget even though the payments I make to it are within the budget, but I don't spend on cc's etc now, so it's literally a case of paying it off now.

It has really helped me with the savings pots for the car maintenance, household repairs, Christmas & birthdays etc. from day 1 though.

Xx

Levi-

I think you might get your tax credits on Friday too due to the bank hols.. I am hoping so anyway :-)

The kid sounds a bit of a handful... deffo needs nipping in the bud by 6 years old... and must be quite hard on you that he has her every weekend because I guess you don't get much time to be a couple.
O sounds like such a good little lad bless his cottons THANKFULLY LL is the same kind of sweet disposition that would give you his last X,Y,Z.. when we watch something like You've Been Framed he always gets concerned whether people have hurt themselves.. that kind of thing.. I am glad to be raising a kind and thoughtful youngster and have no tolerance of the bratty kind either, so good on ya clamping down It is a lot to take on another child in a relationship and changes up the dynamic so much for all parties so I guess there will be times you wanna throw in the towel. I'd find it strange to be in a relationship where there are already children on both sides... but I'm a fine one to talk as I would expect someone else to accept LL.. heh.. I guess I might find out at some point.
Sleep well! x

MeandO

I think my tax credits are due on Wednesday 27th for some reason, but as long as they turn up that week I don't mind lol.

Yes, she is not a thoughtful or kind child, which is a shame, but it's not her fault - just how she has been raised I guess. Her mother seems to be a very self-centred and somewhat scheming woman, so I'm guessing that's where it's coming from. Him is just way too soft with her as he hardly sees her.
No, we don't get a lot of time together just the two of us, which I wouldn't mind if his little girl was lovely to be around, but unfortunately, she's not, and she makes time spent together the four of us, often very stressful and wearing. The fact she defies bedtime and is still up screaming shouting and demanding things at 11pm doesn't help either. I literally went to bed before her last weekend!

We'll see what becomes of it, but it is getting to the stage where it is becoming a big problem and I'm not prepared to put up with that every weekend, for myself and O.

I totally agree Levi, I am so glad O is growing up to be kind and considerate of others. LL sounds like such a little treasure too. Kids will be kids and they're not well behaved all of the time, but I really can't stand selfish, spiteful children either and O is not the type to stand up for himself. He is very sensitive and his feelings are hurt easily, as in the bully-kid issue we had at school a while back, but thankfully that seems to have calmed a little.

It's kind of made it easier that he has a child as, as parents, we both understand they come first and everything falls in around them. They do seem to play with each other nicely and look forward to each other's company too, which, both being only children, is kinda nice; but if only she wasn't quite such a handful at all other times...

Anyway, what will be, will be I guess.

Nothing much planned for after work tonight, other than some cleaning, tidying, a bit of wii fit when O's in bed and then doing as I please for the rest of the evening.

Have a good day all
x

MeandO

Have resisted the devil on my shoulder, telling me to go out and buy something yummy for lunch today and have had the tin of soup I really didn't fancy. I also only brought my debit card to work today to remove the temptation of buying snacks from the vending machine as I have been all week.

The soup hasn't done it.... this yogurt better be good...

MeandO

Forgot to mention, I paid off my barclaycard last night, £63-odd, after a payment from the business going on it last week (as was the card they held on file). Will be closing that down asap too, not that I have the card anymore anyway, was cut up a while ago.

I've now updated my signature with the debt that I plied on it when I went off the rails a while back. I guess on a plus, I have sorted a few birthdays out for the summer, one very big one, so won't be spending then.

I'm feeling like I need a plan... so am off to play with figures and see how quickly I can pay this pesky debt off, based on my salary alone, the business will obviously help, but I can't rely on how much that will bring in, so I'm not counting it until (hopefully) I have it.

I'll be back
x

MeandO

Right, if I can manage a minimum of £350 a month towards the debts, which should be easily achievable as I have still allowed for the savings pots, holiday fund and everyday spending money, then the snowball calculator is anticipating it'll be paid off within 28 months.

That's not good enough for me, so I'll aim to shave it down to under 2 years for starters.

apple_muncher

Ooh, I love a plan!

Might you join us turtles on the NST monthly challenges...? We are a lovely bunch, but also serious about the money side of it all...