Debt Free - am I

RosaBernicia

Hi Aaleigha, spotted you on Nora's diary and thought I'd pop by

I also think you're doing really well and you're right not to let your son run you into problems - there was a similar sort of issue in our wider family and I think it would have worked out better for everyone if people had stood up to him at the time. Including for him. You've made it clear that you love and support him and you are giving him what's reasonable to give without depriving others.

So I'm joining your cheerleading squad too if that's OK :j:j:j


Rosa xx

Aaleigha

Rosa (I am assuming that is your name) this must be meant as my lovely paternal grandmother was called rosa

and I could do with all the pom pom wavers I can get

so this evenings update
still motivated to declutter I have found most of the twins to the orphaned socks - and have so many pairs of socks I feel embarrassed to admit to how many - so I am going to go through them with closed eyes and only keep the softest ones - that should net me 20+ and that is more than enough - the others will be very old so a cull should be had

so knickers bras tights and now socks almost done I might get as far as doing some tops tomorrow but we will see

dinner tonight was lovely and would cook it again - I am a far better cook that makes it up as I go along than following a recipe -

I think you are all wonderful for saying I am a good mum I dont always feel it but I have to recognise that this time in our lives should be for me and hubby both children in their 30's and we need a life we gave up so much for them (as all parents do when money gets tight) we now want to focus on us -
tomorrow I will be cooking for dinner and the freezer and booking a table for the night out on saturday

just been asked to do a dog run for a rescue dog on saturday my friend whose geography is crap said bristol - its only mid wales so picking up at north mimms and dropping off at bristol and the woman is driving from wales to pick up her dog
so that is fuel but its fuel used with love and I dont mind at all

RosaBernicia

Aaleigha wrote: »

Rosa (I am assuming that is your name) this must be meant as my lovely paternal grandmother was called rosa

it's been my screen name for years as I like it (I don't use my real name on the net)

Aaleigha wrote: »

and I could do with all the pom pom wavers I can get

*sidles over to Nora to whisper about potential crafting of woolly pom-poms*


Lol to socks and :T to you helping rescue dog - that's a lovely thing to do


Rosa xx

Aaleigha

Rosa I to can make woolly pompoms - at the moment I am on the knitting and crochet from my friends very young pregnant daughter
I also felt so will be making some felt hearts and teddys etc to pin round the pram to make it more fun
I did not have a no spend day yesterday as even though I was in I was on the net and I have managed to buy a travel system for M not new - its unisex and has the larger wheels - more practical for walking than the little wheels only any good on good pavements - I have been in touch with her grandmother and will be giving the pram to her to give to her grand daughter - I am getting (got) the cot and just need to get its mattress

so today I have cooked
raisin and cinnamon loaf
a mince and potato thing for us two days and mother inlaw too - so that is good value
recipe is
300g minced steak - fried off with two onions
potatoes cut thinly into rounds ( used mandolin)
mushrooms cooked
asparagus soup ( used a packet)
and frozen mixed veg chuck into soup to cook

so layer of potatoes followed by mince ( oh I put ketchup and worcestshire sauce to taste in that)
followed by mushrooms
then soup with mixed veg then last layer of potato
pop in oven gas 4 for about 45 mins depending on thickness of potatoes

love the fact its all in one pot but hate the fact of the washing up mountain I now have

my bipolar state has been a bit manic (meds stabalize the huge swings) and I have been decluttering and doing so well - but today I have come down with a huge bump and really cant do anything
I found a trug full of clothes I had hidden in the back bedroom so I didnt have to face it back int he summer - I pulled it into my bedroom and was going to upend it on the bed - but all of a sudden the feeling of whats the point hit me - so that might have to wait for a couple of weeks - BUT that is fine its me I am getting used to doing what I can when I can = but still feel I am letting myself down and so wish I coped like a normal person - if I did I might not be in the situation of living like I do at the moment

so will most likely take myself off to bed for a couple of hours but want to have a read around first
hope you all manage to tackle all you want and need to today
H x

Aaleigha

yesterday mood wise it was a very bad day
today was a day to spend some money - all booked so a known spend
went to hairdressers (college)and had an intensive conditioner a long consultation ready for cut and colour and a bottle of mything oil (with over 12 quid) all for 14quid including updo so happy with that down town it would have cost me 50 without the oil

tonights dinner is as last night

today I sorted a whole trug of clean laundry that I hid in the back room monthis ago because I could not cope and sorted it into categories so that tomorrow I can go though each one fold and put away or fold and then iron before putting away - then counselling tomorrow - which although hard is so good for me - I really feel that I am making huge progress and Iurge anyone who needs it to spend the money and go - seems expensive but I have stopped the shopping habbit and getting my house and brain in order - will make some money back ebaying

right money spent so far this month seems like a lot but the counsellor is paid for till the end of the month the car is full of fuel - I have bought a cot and a travel system both second hand for my friends baby so money spent wisely
Hx

Aaleigha

certainly on track with my personal allowance and the grocery money - a bit extra in the fuel - but its to transport a rescue dog so I really dont mind I need to sort out all the bits in my purse and put them in the dish to be bagged up at a later date and put towards spending money on holiday when I change it into notes

to day is counselling day
I want to talk about my son and how the last visit went and the fact I emailed him today saying how I still want him to complete the one thing I have asked of him and if he has any intention of doing it in the next 10 days (he will have had 7 days by the time he gets the email) and if he wont his sister has said she will but I will be giving her the allowance I give to him to cover her fuel costs as she will go and see her aunt and cousin while she does the task for me - she didnt hesitate and doesnt even know what I want just said she would do it - so he now has the choice
its good that I have decided how to cover her costs with out if costing us more -
need to stop trying to get baby things Maisie is only 13 weeks so we have quite a few left yet and I think one thing a month from now on will be enough

why is it when I email son that I always feel so sick after the event - never mind I have pressed the send button now so cant get it back

I did tell my husband that while I was at counselling today he was to go into town today and find me a present - all he said was good idea - now the last present he chose form himself was flowers that he got sent to me while I was on a school residential - it was his first internet shop everything else I have had to either get myself while we are together or tell him what I want

I have this urge to go on a spending spree - one reason I cut up all the cards - I know its the bipolar shouting at me but I need to curb it - apart from hand cuffs (that hubby may fantasise about ) what ideas can you come up with to stop this NEED to spend
I have already put earrings in a shopping basket on line - and as I have 10 ear peircings its a lot of them I want

so ideas please they will be most welcome if anyone has been is or knows someone to share their sucesses and failiures in this

had five no spend days this month so far ( our month started 26th Feb which is pay day

today will be nsd for me but not for hubby

right off to send him an email just because I need to
hope everyone is doing a bit better than me - all I can say is not being in debt is not as easy as it seems - far far to easy to go back there again

twiggy86

Hope your counselling goes well. You're making so much progress with sorting through your clothes. My socks, pants, bra drawer is full so maybe I should take a leaf out of your book and have a sort through (e.g. I know I have a pair of tights lurking in there which the elastic round the waist has gone on!).

Would it help you stopping spending if you were able to visualize your goals?! Something in your purse, next to your computer, on the fridge to help remind you why you're doing this? Also, give yourself credit for realising that you want to spend but not just going ahead and doing it!

But on the other hand, do you allow yourself treats? I think that you should as otherwise the "sod it" mentality is more likely to kick in and ruin your progress! So you could either set yourself an allowance per month or if you meet certain targets you get x to spend (i.e. certain number of NSDs for the month).

Aaleigha

I do have an allowance every month and its quite generous at 50 quid out of that the one thing I HAVE to is pay for my hair the rest will go on needed and wanted things

as for sending son an email he then goes and phones after I have pressed the send button - so I warned him it was on its way - he is in tears and wants me to visit when I can I have already applied for 21st March and not heard back - and told him that - he is very upset as his Girlfriend who accepted my rings off him has not only finished with him but is now seeing his best friend - who has sold a few of sons cars and has not sent in any money lately so son asked why and was disappointed with because - then the news about gf came out - I did say this was on the cards and had warned him and I feel she has stolen from me as he gave her my rings - I just gave them to him without a question - but I dont want them back they are so tainted now - but he wants them as they were mine and given with love - so he is trying to get them back - I am going to write to the govenor and see if I can get him a chain to put them on most likely it will be a no but can only ask

right off to get lunch before I go

Twiglet thank you so much perhaps just one pair of ear rings if I have enough money left at the end of the month then I can have less allowance next month and pay from the bank we will see how I feel them - will most likely get it out of my system by then - and yes I should feel good about not spending as before it would have been about 300 pound in one day on the net and it would not end at one day so can think of it as savings

Aaleigha

Wow after such a good counselling session yesterday - really really hard but so insightful and felt I had made huge steps forward I find that the girl that accepted my rings as her engagement rings from my son is now apparently seeing his best mate - who also has all his possessions on ebay

s

Aaleigha

after a fantastic counselling session yesterday really hard but very productive I get home to find - splashed all over facebook - that the girl who accepted my rings when she got engaged to my son has been seeing his best friend for over six weeks - not once in all that time has she offered the rings back (mind you tainted and full of poison now so I dont want them but son does as they were mine and freely given) she put all over face book how could she she doesnt know where to send them - she has facebook phone number and email and then of course ask my son - she also accepted very expensive gifts from us for herself and her children - well guess I am far to nice - but it has rather undone all the good counselling had done

really late night last night as put chocolate loaf in bread maker for best friend

we are fetching a rescue dog and doing part of its journey to its new home her sister is bringing the dog one third of the way from norfolk so not only will a dog change cars and hands but also a chocolate loaf

so tired and upset I feel sick - this is not doing the NEED to spend any good but what I am going to do is leave my purse at home that way if I dont have cards or money I wont be able to spend anything

looks like I have repeated myself with the moaning but rings valued at a grand should not be kept as she was already seeing this other fella at the time so should not have accepted them - oh well I am off to meet friends and that will be such an enjoyable day

so try to keep those cards and money safely at home and dont spend the money