Debt Free - am I

Aaleigha

Well my bank account is but our joint one is not

due to health problems I dont work (not applied disability allowance in any form)
so we manage on the money my Dh can bring in BUT this year we are only JUST managing to be debt free most of the month - so I really need to do something about this

so apart from not working we have had one other change in circumstances - our 35 year old son is costing us about 200 a month - exact figure to be calculated - I really want a holiday this year - nothig special just a week near the east coast to see my best friend and somewhere I can take the dogs with me

so today I am going to finish going through all the DD and I have been listing all our outgoings for this month - at the end of the month I am going to see what savings I can make
the first I have started on - I have planned a months meal plans and DH is taking a lunch box with him and where possible I am having left overs for lunch

I have cupboards and freezer full of food and all meal plans are based on those items - yes I will have to add fresh things to those eggs milk and cheese but from today will be making my own bread again

so plan of action for next few days

- continue with calculating spend (dd and listing withdrawls)
- make sure I stick to meal plans
- check bank account daily - once 500 is in account on payday that will be moved to an unused account and hopefully not need to be used - that will take a few months but hope it is doable

I will need to set a possible food budget (set 150 for the rest of this month)

the only food I will not be changing is the dog food - I have found a food that suits them all - they have not been in better condition - I was feeding a premium food that was costing nearly £20 on what I am getting now which from the ingrediants is an even higher quality food and all for £33 per sack (give or take a few pence) and delivered free so I dont even have to spend the fuel to collect it

I will sure over time I will learn lots of new things to do to save money but it will take a while to sort ourselves out before we start to move but then I am hoping it will start to speed up -

the biggy right now is stopping Hubby from getting a credit card I told him we dont need one - he says its interest free - it might be but wont be forever and I know if we get one it will be used

any tips on where to start my journey will be very gratefully received

Hx

Aaleigha

So a little more about my situation

My son
at age 17 he left home and went to live with my parents - something he asked to do - he was in with a bad peer group and could not find employment - fast forward - after the death of my parents he moved and did not let us or his sister know where he was and we had no phone number we got the occaisional call when he wanted something - ff to last summer - son was coming on occaisional visits and I thought things were looking up - how wrong I was - at the beginning of Dec I saw on face book that he had been arrested in a huge drugs bust - this was in nov so after ringing round - starting with the police I found his solicitors and told them to get in touch - this is why he is costing money

since we tracked him down and found him we have made four visits each visit 1.5 hours each way (we have one car and it is heavy on fuel) at the visit you have to buy vouchers for drinks - we get max which is £15 most of which he eats in chocolate and has fizzy drinks - something he cant get - now of course they make maximum profit - and he wants money to buy basics and get phone credit - so that is 100 a month then stamps and of course it all has to go recorded = then he wanted clothes so even basics cost £80 - do I begrudge him this YES but he is our son - BUT I refuse to go back into debt for him

***possible trigger***

this has affected my bipolar to such a degree I have self harmed - this I have NEVER done until now - I see a counsellor not NHS funded so that is another expense
so here I am in a land of limbo a couple that was able to save up (a little) and have a week in the east once a year - this is after years and years of having a mortgage we could not afford and lived of credit cards - one full get another - I know many of you have been here and some of you still are

so that is the reason I am here - I was not going to put that down in 'writing' but felt it important for you to have the back story

so today
- I will be waiting in for a replacement mobile (so more money on the next bill for the excess)
- checking the meal plan for today and tomorrow - to make sure all ingredients are in)
- make a loaf of bread
and
finish sorting the finances and seeing where cuts can be made

I will be considering getting shopping delivered as it will save fuel - delivery will cost less than fuel - and Hubby cant impulse buy - I do to some degree NOW there are disadvantages to this plan - I cannot get yellow stickered items so perhaps goinng with a list will be better

I have never ebayed but must consider it as a way to up the income
read the boards for other ways to make a little money

so can anyone point me in the right direction for how various websites can help me make money - please put your fav two in a reply for me to follow up

if you have read to the end of this you are a hero

A x

HappyNow

After the kind things you wrote on my diary I have tracked you down to cheer you on! Sorry to hear about your problems, particularly your son. I agree with your stance about supporting him but not allowing him to push you back into debt - try not to let his situation ruin your own health either. He's not a child and made his own choices knowing full well the likely repercussions.

Aaleigha wrote: »

I will sure over time I will learn lots of new things to do to save money but it will take a while to sort ourselves out before we start to move but then I am hoping it will start to speed up -
That's exactly what happened with me. It was painfully slow progress at the beginning but soon you learn new skills and being frugal becomes your natural state!

any tips on where to start my journey will be very gratefully received

This diary is your best start! Why not complete a statement of affairs and post it here so that people can help you. I think this is the link -> http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php

Aaleigha wrote: »

so can anyone point me in the right direction for how various websites can help me make money - please put your fav two in a reply for me to follow up
Because I have such a madly busy life I tend to focus on making the most of my current income rather than increasing it. Some people make money from surveys etc but I've never managed to get into that.
My top two sites are:
1) This one! There's not much money stuff you can't find on here.
2) www.mysupermarket.com This shows you where each individual item on your shopping list can be bought cheapest. And if you only have one supermarket close by, make sure and use their price promise/guarantee to get your items at the competitor's prices. That can get a bit complicated because it involves splitting your shopping at the check-out/ensuring you have enough items etc, but again it's something you get good at with practice.

A x

Good luck to you and I will keep checking back x

Knitting_Nora

Hello!


I've totally stalked you from my diary over to yours...;)


My first thought from what you've said is to ask whether you've spoken to anyone at the Citizens Advice Bureau? It's difficult to know without seeing your Statement of Affairs (yep, the SOA), but I suspect they might be able to help you with some income maximisation - including a proper check to see whether you're getting any benefits or other help you might be entitled to. Believe it or not, most people aren't. They're lovely people and it's worth you making an appointment with them as a starting point.


Secondly, I'm really impressed with the 'not getting into debt for him' stance you've taken about your son. I've always thought that it takes phenomenal strength for anyone to stand up to their family, so you should feel really proud. Also, take some time to talk with your husband about how you're both dealing with your son and what sort of a relationship you both want with him when he's released as this will help you decide how to deal with him while he's in prison.


Remember to be realistic - this isn't a fairy tale situation, so don't be scared or ashamed if you feel he isn't going to change and that actually you'd just like to be left alone, or to maintain a civil but distant relationship. This is about doing what's right for you and your husband, and accepting your son as he is, rather than as you'd perhaps like him to be.


Once you've done that bit, you might find that you don't actually want to visit - in which case, don't (easier said than done of course). If you do still want to visit, then maybe you don't need to buy him the 'treats' and the clothes? I'm just thinking that if he knows you'll provide for him, then there's no motivation for him to sort himself out.


Remember that you've done your 'bit' in raising him and doing would you could to give him a better environment and opportunities. The decisions he's made from that point on have been largely his own. He's not a child, and it's important to respect that (though in my experience, parents have a hard time seeing the adult in their children, no matter how old they are!).


Thirdly, I'm with you on the credit card side. It looks like you've already got some places you could make some changes so ask hubby how he sees the card being used. As I've said over on my diary, you might find saving up front is a better way to go.


In the meantime, lots of hugs, much tea and all power to your frugal elbow m'dear!


Nora.xx

Aaleigha

KN thank you so much
everything you say is everything I would say to someone else - so easy to advise so difficult to DO

all this with my son has really put me into a spin

the first visit we made he talked about S how wonderful she is etc etc and he and she had talked about marriage and children in the future she has two children from previous relationships - I sat and offered him my rings - dont ask why I dont know

DH REALLY wants to buy me new rings and he would use a 0% card to do that and pay it over the year - his heart is in the right place

he also deserves a pat on the back (well he did last night and this morning) I moaned about him putting on lights and not turning them off - this morning only the kitchen light was on - fair enough its dark when he leaves the house AND I am always mentioning (insert moaning or nagging here) that he never empties the filter on the tumble dryer but he did so slightly more efficient when I found myself using it for three loads of washing today
WHAT WAS I PLAYING AT
so
Hubby 2 wifey 0

just doing SoA now as dinner is cooking

Aaleigha

Happy
thank you for all the thought you have put into supporting me
I am off to do my SoA while dinner is cooking and after - now that dh is home he will know where to look stuff up

as it is nearly the end of the financial year for council tax and water rates etc I will be adding on 10% as I want to know what I will be paying as well as what I am paying - but I could do it all over again

tomorrow I am going to town need my specs checked as they dont seem right
Hubby has just given me 20quid and told me to get a coffe and get my nails done if I want - so much for saving money but as I say his heart is in the right place

Aaleigha

so here it is
now I have to read and digest there is plenty there to use to save for a holiday
I KNOW many of you dont have holidays I have been there and done that but this year my best friends daughter is having a baby and they live the other side of the country to me - I just want a week in the east a cottage for me and DH and the dogs - once that is paid for it wont be expensive DH will fish - I will be with friend for most of the time and we will do long lovely beach walks - not a lot to ask really and if not for son costing us so much at the moment (not just what we send him but the fuel and my counselling (oops did not include this need to amend it)

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 0
Number of cars owned.................... 2

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 2191
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 2191

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 124
Electricity............................. 45
Gas..................................... 50
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 69
Telephone (land line)................... 25
Mobile phone............................ 50
TV Licence.............................. 13
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 22
Internet Services....................... 15
Groceries etc. ......................... 500
Clothing................................ 50
Petrol/diesel........................... 150
Road tax................................ 40
Car Insurance........................... 55
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 35
Car parking............................. 15
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 40
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 50
Buildings insurance..................... 14
Contents insurance...................... 12
Life assurance ......................... 16
Other insurance......................... 12
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 50
Haircuts................................ 25
Entertainment........................... 20
Holiday................................. 70
Emergency fund.......................... 0
counselling............................. 100
Total monthly expenses.................. 1667


Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 169000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 6000
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 175000

No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
furniture......................1500......60........0
Total unsecured debts..........1500......60........-


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 2,191
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,667
Available for debt repayments........... 524
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 60
Amount left after debt repayments....... 464

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 175,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -1,500
Net Assets.............................. 173,500

Created using the SOA calculator at https://www.stoozing.com.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.

Knitting_Nora

Hello!


Right, let's have a look... *rolls up sleeves*


First up - it doesn't matter whether anyone else is having holidays or not. You're doing this for you. For your quality of life, including peace of mind. You deserve it. You've earned it. You certainly don't need to justify it. And if anyone suggests otherwise, sent 'em my way.


Secondly, does this SOA include what you're spending on your son? If not, add it in so you're very clear on the cost involved.


Thirdly (you'll get used to me numbering stuff...), that grocery bill looks very high for the two of you. There are some wonderful threads on the forum about how to reduce those sorts of bills - and some really fun challenges too!


Fourthly (see, you're getting used to it already), if you're getting regular prescriptions of two or more items per month, then get yourself a prepaid prescription card from the NHS. £10.40 per month for your entire prescription. Mine saves me a fortune.

Fifthly, I don't know what's reasonable for utilities for two people - but you've seen how easily I've managed to reduce all of my bills today, so I'd recommend you at least look at it. The main money saving website has lots of really practical advice on how to check these things. Make sure you include water in your checks - I figure that's an area we could all probably save a bit!


Likewise with your satellite, phone, mobile and internet packages. Just remember to check when your contracts for each are due to end - some companies will charge you for leaving early. Same for all of your various insurances too.


The key here (and someone pointed it out on my diary yesterday), is not to be overly loyal - it's just going to cost you.


After today's successes, I say check it all!! *evil cackles*


Sixthly (is that even a word? Meh, is now!), are you repaying that furniture debt? If not, get putting a nice chunk of your 'left over' cash into a savings account for when the 0% interest rate runs out.


Finally, you've got a nice sum left over which would make a lovely 'accident and emergency' plan rather getting than that pesky credit card.


Hope that helps.


Nora.xx

Aaleigha

Helps more than you know thank you

Knitting_Nora wrote: »

Hello!


Right, let's have a look... *rolls up sleeves*


First up - it doesn't matter whether anyone else is having holidays or not. You're doing this for you. For your quality of life, including peace of mind. You deserve it. You've earned it. You certainly don't need to justify it. And if anyone suggests otherwise, sent 'em my way.

Thank you I truely believe I need the time away I am not justifying it but I do have bipolar social anxiety and panic attacts when I have been away I am well for about two months before the above get to very difficult levels again


Secondly, does this SOA include what you're spending on your son? If not, add it in so you're very clear on the cost involved.

No it doesnt simply because at the moment I dont quite know what he is costing me I am going to work that out - we go and visit on saturday and I will be filling up with fuel before I go and again when I get back) I will see what cash he has had this month and what postage I have paid for and what postage stamps I have sent - it will be variable so will round that figure up


Thirdly (you'll get used to me numbering stuff...), that grocery bill looks very high for the two of you. There are some wonderful threads on the forum about how to reduce those sorts of bills - and some really fun challenges too!

Yes I admit to the grocery bill looking high BUT it does include food for 6 dogs I buy 6 sacks at a time daughter has one for her dogs and we keep
five it costs just under 200 and we buy that approx every 8-10 weeks and yes I have over allowed money for that as I have put that down for a month not bimonthly- will go and change that-thank you so much for spotting that) have acutally allowed 300 for the humans as that is what I spend now and will change that when I have done a whole months worth of bills

Fourthly (see, you're getting used to it already), if you're getting regular prescriptions of two or more items per month, then get yourself a prepaid prescription card from the NHS. £10.40 per month for your entire prescription. Mine saves me a fortune.

Yes I do that and hubby is over 60 so he gets his for free I have varifocals and contacts so although it looks a bit high I do think its about right - I could cancel the contacts but I would rather not

Fifthly, I don't know what's reasonable for utilities for two people - but you've seen how easily I've managed to reduce all of my bills today, so I'd recommend you at least look at it. The main money saving website has lots of really practical advice on how to check these things. Make sure you include water in your checks - I figure that's an area we could all probably save a bit!

I will definitely do that thank you so much - we have a three bedroom house I cook by gas and have gas heating (unused rooms have heating off) water is heated by gas = I do use a tumble drier and did kick myself when I found I had used it three times without thinking - at least one load could have been put on hangers and dried on the pull up rack we have in the bathroom - its all a learning experience at this time and of course DH is not on board and bless him has been turning off all lights in the evening and when he goes to work



Likewise with your satellite, phone, mobile and internet packages. Just remember to check when your contracts for each are due to end - some companies will charge you for leaving early. Same for all of your various insurances too.


The key here (and someone pointed it out on my diary yesterday), is not to be overly loyal - it's just going to cost you.


After today's successes, I say check it all!! *evil cackles*

HEY YOU MISSED A NUMBER perhaps bullet points would work better for you :rotfl:
checking when contracts expire is fantastic thank you I will be making a list of it all so I check the month before it happens (yes another list look - good job I have OCD tendancies and love books and lists


Sixthly (is that even a word? Meh, is now!), are you repaying that furniture debt? If not, get putting a nice chunk of your 'left over' cash into a savings account for when the 0% interest rate runs out.

I put the furniture down as an unsecured debt and am paying it off but for some reason my payment (I added a new category) does not seem to have saved but it should be on there
I know I have a few things to add in and change so will be getting on with all that during the rest of the month - today it all seems too overwhelming and difficult (I have been to town today and with social phobia it really does freak me out and I did have a panic attack)


Finally, you've got a nice sum left over which would make a lovely 'accident and emergency' plan rather getting than that pesky credit card.


Hope that helps.

HELPS its amazing thank you so much - I knew I needed the help to make the savings


Nora.xx

Aaleigha

I have amended the SoA to include a present estimate for son a change in grocery amount and adding in the furniture payment

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 0
Number of cars owned.................... 1

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 2191
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 2191

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 124
Electricity............................. 45
Gas..................................... 50
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 69
Telephone (land line)................... 25
Mobile phone............................ 50
TV Licence.............................. 13
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 22
Internet Services....................... 15
Groceries etc. ......................... 410
Clothing................................ 50
Petrol/diesel........................... 150
Road tax................................ 40
Car Insurance........................... 55
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 35
Car parking............................. 15
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 40
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 50
Buildings insurance..................... 14
Contents insurance...................... 12
Life assurance ......................... 16
Other insurance......................... 12
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 50
Haircuts................................ 25
Entertainment........................... 20
Holiday................................. 70
Emergency fund.......................... 0
son .................................... 175
furniture............................... 60
Total monthly expenses.................. 1712


Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 169000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 6000
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 175000

No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
furniture......................1500......60........0
Total unsecured debts..........1500......60........-


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 2,191
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,712
Available for debt repayments........... 479
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 60
Amount left after debt repayments....... 419

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 175,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -1,500
Net Assets.............................. 173,500

Created using the SOA calculator at https://www.stoozing.com.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.

Aaleigha

I have just lost a post about the good and bad so far of today = really cross but will go and sort dinner before I redo it