Debt Free - am I

Knitting_Nora

*sidles up to the stand in the corner and inhales all of the hot chocolate*


*sidles back out again*

Aaleigha

it wont let me post

Aaleigha

This morning before I went out I kept getting the voucher has timed out
so here is trying again

my day started latish due to no sleep - even with a sleeping med - all that is caused because today was going to be difficult

prison visit -
so for those of you that dont know this is my experience - please take into account I suffer from bipolar and that is affected by stress - then the social phobia and people being in my space is so difficult I feel physically sick

so we arrive as we should at one thirty - dreadful traffic due to an accident - we book in - give name and visit number - then sit in an over crowded room with some really lovely quiet children with colouring books then the others kids that run around shout at each other accross the room mums shouting get your f*ing !!!! over here kids kicking the fire exit door and generally being a pain - then after 20 mins wait you are called by visit order number to get your beautiful bracelet and are then allowed to go to the next building where you are herded into a very crowded corridor and wait in turn to have your searches - so DH goes through scanner first but takes off jacket watch belt and shoes (they come above the ankle bone) go through and get his body search - collect his stuff - I go next having put my walkiing stick and gillet and watch to be checked I am also asked if I have anything on under my top I ask why and she tells me to take it off I tell her now I will NOT stand in my bra - apparently it was my fault as she thought it was a jacket (well it does have false buttons on) - then I have to take off every bit of jewellry NEVER had to do that before - some I totally refused to take off (very sentimental and never been taken off since it went on .I went through scanner and got told to go back and take off my shoes - I said I had followed all the rules about footware and raised an objection she told me not to be so stupid as to hold everyone up and if I would not take them off she would send me back (now apart from manhandling me I dont know how they would do that) I objected at her calling ME stupid rather than my behaviour - I finally get through that to be herded into another small space that has a double door system - to be kept in this small space with more and more people beiing crammed in by this time I am holding onto DH as I am sure I am going to pass out - went through that and then onto the next bit locked gate with a lovely kid (must be 18-19) on the gate he held the gate for me and I said thanks - his respose was your welcome - and so into another corridor and on into the hall I am then told I need to take my gillet off again objected as I have worn it four previous times and never been TOLD before
not once through all this did ANY member of staff say please or thank you
I was by this time stood with tears rolling down my face feeling sick
I am in the hall FREEZING cold - and remember he is only on remand - I feel totally violated

however I did tell son that I cannot afford to keep him in the manner to which he has become accostomed and he will NOT take my week with my friend away from me - I have told he IF I can afford it I will send up to £50 a month and one visit - now he can hardly say no but he now knows what the score is - and under the circumstances he is lucky he is getting anything as we only found out via face book a month after his arrest - so we might still not know a thing.

so that was my day out and I have it all to go through again on monday when I go up with my daughter - I might sit in the car I might not

very frugal today apart from the very expensive 15 quid in tokens and spending most of that on cuppas and son wanted crisps bananas and chocoate DH said that this money is NOT to come from the household budget as we are going to (From next month put 75 quid in a sons budget)

I will be off upstairs early tonight and have a nice relaxing bath and sit and read for a bit or crochet before bed

tomorrow is another day and will be much better - will be sorting some rubbish in the garden

in_need_of_direction

It sounds like a dreadful experience. However, all public bodies are required to make reasonable adjustment to take account of disabilities. Could you or oh email the governor, explain your circs and ask that your visits be facilitated in a better manner. You may need to supply supporting medical evidence but it's worth a try. Also, re benefits, I wish I could help as I did that for years but maybe cab is worth a try.

Aaleigha

thank you for that

most people dont understand and think I am just making a fuss but believe me if I could live a different way I would - counselling helps but it will be a long job
I am going again tomorrow - yes I know but daughter is going tomorrow and doesnt want to go on her own - she knows how difficult I find it and is so supportive will be taking long acting propranalol and a fast acting one when I get to the carpark that should help tomorrow

and I really thank you for your support

right now for the moster I have created - hubby is trying to be frugal - he is cooking dinner and came into the sitting room to tell me he is saving the hot water from boiling the spuds (ready for roasting) to cook the swede/cabbage in

now I know I told him I want every penny accounted for and I want every penny we can saved - BUT I didnt think he too me that seriously

so food for today
lunch -christmas party food that was in the freezer
dinner -pork (sliced frozen from a previous joint) roast pots swede/carrot mash - spring greens (from a kind neighbour)

spending for today
contact lens solution
sausage rolls for DH to supplement sarnies for work

bread maker is on with a marmite loaf

washing all done and hung out but now putting in td as it did not dry
will continue to crochet a baby blanket tonight - did mean to say that is from reclaimed yarn (bought a sweater from cs ages ago for reclaiming) and some from stash = keeps me busy

I have enough food in for the week and maybe the next 11 days till pay day - will be doing a count down - at the end of last month we were JUST over drawn but want to see what I have managed in the last three weeks - quite excited by the challenge of this

Knitting_Nora

What a horrid experience for you - definitely follow up on getting better facilitated visits.


In the meantime, read your entry back to yourself and bear in mind the following:

• you were strong enough to cope with a situation that would fell anyone;
• you stood up to your son, and set out your position clearly and definitively to him; and
• you've refused to be defeated by the situation and will be going again with your daughter.

It doesn't matter if you wait in the car - anyone who knows social anxiety will appreciate the sheer bravery of just getting back in the car let alone doing anything else. You rock!!


Now. Lots of tlc for you, and an early night - you must be absolutely exhausted.


Nora.xx

Knitting_Nora

Aaleigha wrote: »

now I know I told him I want every penny accounted for and I want every penny we can saved - BUT I didnt think he too me that seriously

Love it! That'll teach you. And how sweet is your OH?!!

Aaleigha

Nora my thanks - I have to admit he is as mad as I am

we have just been going over the banking figures and THINK we should have 450 left in the bank account this month - now take into a little overdraft last month and I will have only been doing this for three weeks and payday is on 26th (will have to work pd to pd only way my little brain will cope) so perhaps I can do 600 a month (maybe more if I can) that means Norfolk wont be a problem BUT that means no shoes as most of my 'allowance' will be on my hair - I go to the college and get my roots bleached toner and cut all for about 25 quid and colours put through if I want in my previous salon with the sylist I had it would not be about 120 so a saving there and something I am loathe to give it - as it helps me feel a bit better about myself

I am so looking forward to the end of the month to see how well I have done

Hot chocolate and a variety of biscuits on the stand in the corner for those who want it - custard creams for Nora and some homemade chocolate chip and peanut butter cookies - enjoy and good night

Knitting_Nora

Aaleigha wrote: »

Nora my thanks - I have to admit he is as mad as I am

All the best people are!

we have just been going over the banking figures and THINK we should have 450 left in the bank account this month....


....means Norfolk wont be a problem BUT that means no shoes as most of my 'allowance' will be on my hair - I go to the college and get my roots bleached toner and cut all for about 25 quid and colours put through if I want in my previous salon with the sylist I had it would not be about 120 so a saving there and something I am loathe to give it - as it helps me feel a bit better about myself

I think this is a really important part of what we're all learning here - that being sensible with our money isn't about being frugal at the expense of all else in our lives, but learning to live in a manner which allows us to have those little treats which mean so much without adding the burden of debt. It's about balance. And good hair.

I am so looking forward to the end of the month to see how well I have done

Me too! Who'd've thunk that not spending money could be fun?!

Hot chocolate and a variety of biscuits on the stand in the corner for those who want it - custard creams for Nora and some homemade chocolate chip and peanut butter cookies - enjoy and good night

Oh, you're a dream. I'm popping the kettle on in a moment if you want one?

Aaleigha

Nora just been over to yours for a cuppa

quick outline or the day

just had bath and washed hair - relaxes me
need to dry hair dress and put slap on before daughter gets here as we are off to the prison today

I am ready for going mentally - and will just do the best I can
will take ipad and start some crochet in the car - dont worry she is driving
need to take 15 quid from DH's wallet - does buying tokens for tea and coffee count as an entertaining allowance - if so I need another column

dinner tonight is ready - cooked yesterday corned beef hash - and will be tryinng A$da baked beans - now the test will NOT be do they taste like Mr H but do I LIKE them if I do I will buy them in furture I am all for change and that will save about 25p a tin - we only have them about once a fortnight but that will be £6 in a year - a couple of tubs of icecream for friend me and the kids in Norfolk = I am finally getting this girls

right off to get ready

hope everyone has a great day so I can read some uplifting stories later