If you are single....

System

I worked out i've been single for about a year and half in total the past 13 years i've been dating :eek:

purpleshoes_2

January20 wrote: »

Why would you think that women would suffer more from being single long term? Nowadays, women work and support themselves very well. They are not the useless and fragile being they were portrayed to be 60+ years ago. They can tackle many tasks themselves or pay for somebody to do those they can't. They can have good relationships with family and friends.

For me living with a man again would mean I had more work and certainly more stress because so many men tend to still think that housework, laundry, child-rearing is a woman's job, on top of a full day at work to earn extra money for the family.

There is the old saying that single women live longer than married women but married men live longer than single men. I don't know if it's really true however, but my personal real life experience shows me that more divorced or widowed men get into relationships very quickly. Of course, it could just be the kind of people who surround me so I'm not going to generalise.

Who knows? Maybe I need someone to carry my shopping bags or cook me dinner or something.:rotfl:

I think it's a really valid point to make that it has to be a good relationship. Most of my previous relationships made me thoroughly miserable. I know many people who are in a relationship and happy, I know other people who are in a relationship and unhappy. You also see threads on here all the time where people are posting about their relationship difficulties.

Im not saying for a minute that all relationships are negative, they clearly aren't, but why on earth should people feel sorry for anyone who doesn't have a partner.

Im in my mid 40s and I saw so many friends of mine marry too young. I think all my close friends were married by the age of 23, there's not one of them that are still together. One girl I went to school with got married at 19 to someone she had been seeing a couple of years, he cut her off from us all, wouldn't allow her to see us as a group (of females) and this was going on before they got married. He thought that if he wasn't invited out with us it meant we didn't like him. He also thought that if women wore short skirts they deserved to be raped. There was talk of divorce in this first year because she said he thought she wanted things all her own way (read, she stood up for herself when he was acting like a plank).

She voted for a certain political party when she could vote for the first time because he voted for them. She also married him on the rebound from someone else who had broken her heart. They are still together, I see her very occasionally as we support the same football team, but I often wonder if she's happy.

Thats the thing, so many people think, having a partner = happy and being single = sad.

Seriously not always the case. For the people who are in happy relationships, fab. The people who are in miserable ones, well I've been there, won't ever be going back to that in a hurry.

torbrex

Why is it this thread makes me feel I need to appologise to all the women posting on it?

Half of them because I am a bloke and the other half because I am just an ordinary bloke

I have never cheated on anybody, never scarred any woman emotionally or physically, I've always been generous to any woman I was with and they wanted for nothing.
Fair enough, I am not the exciting or daring type and I'm certainly not Cary Grant in the looks department but I am reasonably honest, frightningly faithfull and loyal and most of all I am just an ordinary bloke.

NewShadow

torbrex wrote: »

Why is it this thread makes me feel I need to appologise to all the women posting on it?

Half of them because I am a bloke and the other half because I am just an ordinary bloke

I have never cheated on anybody, never scarred any woman emotionally or physically, I've always been generous to any woman I was with and they wanted for nothing.
Fair enough, I am not the exciting or daring type and I'm certainly not Cary Grant in the looks department but I am reasonably honest, frightningly faithfull and loyal and most of all I am just an ordinary bloke.

Love you Torbrex.

I kinda feel all the lovely blokes on here are like my awesome BIL Andy - we gave him a certificate one year making him an honorary woman to make up for all the moaning he has to listen to

Kim_kim

torbrex wrote: »

Why is it this thread makes me feel I need to appologise to all the women posting on it?

Half of them because I am a bloke and the other half because I am just an ordinary bloke

I have never cheated on anybody, never scarred any woman emotionally or physically, I've always been generous to any woman I was with and they wanted for nothing.
Fair enough, I am not the exciting or daring type and I'm certainly not Cary Grant in the looks department but I am reasonably honest, frightningly faithfull and loyal and most of all I am just an ordinary bloke.

I havent had horrendous experiences with men.
Some not great - but if I'm honest I was at fault too.
I haven't met that special person yet clearly (despite 2 ex husbands), as my head has always ruled my heart & I've never met anyone to make me feel different.
Genuinely Id love to meet that special person that you feel you can take on the world with or that you would take on the world for, that's what it's about isn't it?
Maybe I'm too careful & guarded & no one could ever make me feel like that :-)
But don't apologise, I'm as much to blame for my failed relationships as any of the men.

torbrex

Kim_kim wrote: »

I havent had horrendous experiences with men.
Some not great - but if I'm honest I was at fault too.
I haven't met that special person yet clearly (despite 2 ex husbands), as my head has always ruled my heart & I've never met anyone to make me feel different.
Genuinely Id love to meet that special person that you feel you can take on the world with or that you would take on the world for, that's what it's about isn't it?
Maybe I'm too careful & guarded & no one could ever make me feel like that :-)
But don't apologise, I'm as much to blame for my failed relationships as any of the men.

were you not one of those hoping for Mr Wonderful to come along as an ordinary bloke no longer filled your plate?

TheMagician

I've been single for 2.5yrs and recently I've been terribly missing the uncontrollable laughs together, talking through the night, dancing for hours, going to nice restaurants for meals, having extended family of in-laws, sensual kissing that leads to intimate times, long walks and hikes, holding hands, looking into someone's eyes and just feeling utterly happy, the feel of a strong and protective man's body, being completely adored and wanted, someone to look after and him to look after me, showers and baths together, giving and receiving compliments, giving each other surprises, hugs, someone to cuddle up to at night, I honestly could go on and on.

I am hoping with all my heart I will meet my soulmate. I am not prepared to be just with anyone, I could do that tomorrow. He has to be my one and only.

I believe that when you're in a healthy relationship, you won't feel suppressed or controlled in any way or made to feel guilty for spending money on yourself.

You can always buy a super king size bed for room.
And get an extra en suite bathroom.
But you can only spend so long with your loved one before the clock is up.

kingfisherblue

torbrex wrote: »

Why is it this thread makes me feel I need to appologise to all the women posting on it?

Half of them because I am a bloke and the other half because I am just an ordinary bloke

I have never cheated on anybody, never scarred any woman emotionally or physically, I've always been generous to any woman I was with and they wanted for nothing.
Fair enough, I am not the exciting or daring type and I'm certainly not Cary Grant in the looks department but I am reasonably honest, frightningly faithfull and loyal and most of all I am just an ordinary bloke.

Don't apologise Torbrex, you sound ideal to me. I'll never settle for someone who isn't special to me, nor dive into casual sex, but on the other hand, I'm not exciting or daring myself. I think I'd be scared to be with someone who wanted non-stop excitement, as it just isn't me. I'm ok to look at, but not beautiful or stunning. Like you, I'm faithful, honest and loyal, and very ordinary. It doesn't stop me hoping that I will meet an ordinary bloke who makes my heart race a bit faster and who holds the same interests and values as me though. Being ordinary is a quality, not a problem.

January20

TheMagician wrote: »

I've been single for 2.5yrs and recently I've been terribly missing the uncontrollable laughs together, talking through the night, dancing for hours, going to nice restaurants for meals, having extended family of in-laws, sensual kissing that leads to intimate times, long walks and hikes, holding hands, looking into someone's eyes and just feeling utterly happy, the feel of a strong and protective man's body, being completely adored and wanted, someone to look after and him to look after me, showers and baths together, giving and receiving compliments, giving each other surprises, hugs, someone to cuddle up to at night, I honestly could go on and on.

I am hoping with all my heart I will meet my soulmate. I am not prepared to be just with anyone, I could do that tomorrow. He has to be my one and only.

I believe that when you're in a healthy relationship, you won't feel suppressed or controlled in any way or made to feel guilty for spending money on yourself.

You can always buy a super king size bed for room.
And get an extra en suite bathroom.
But you can only spend so long with your loved one before the clock is up.

Ah! To be young and romantic and still believe life is just like in a romantic comedy :rotfl::rotfl:



I clearly need to work on my cynicism

Kim_kim

torbrex wrote: »

were you not one of those hoping for Mr Wonderful to come along as an ordinary bloke no longer filled your plate?

I would like to me Mr wonderful "for me".
He can be rather ordinary, I am!
Just be nice if we created some extraordinary magic between us physically.
And stimulated each other's minds.
Someone I click with.
Someone without hang ups or weirdnesses!