If you are single....

Caroline_a

I have been on my own now for 7 years. Prior to that I had 2 failed marriages and one failed long-term relationship - all of which I ended. When I was younger I was rarely on my own, but always felt I 'needed' someone. Now I know that actually I am rubbish at choosing men for me, so have given up. I am, however, brilliant at choosing dogs.

My single life is packed with work/a hobby that takes me out of the house 3 nights a week and often weekends away/dog walking/meeting friends/seeing my children and grandchildren. I have the most brilliant life, jam-packed with things I like doing, when I want, where I want and how I want! (ok apart from work which pays for it all..)

My marriages gave me 3 beautiful daughters, and I have 2 fab grandchildren from them. Would I ever have another relationship? I doubt it. I think I like my me-time too much, and I have all the affection I need from my dogs and my family. My biggest fear is what would happen to the dogs if I became ill, but insurance looks after that for now, and I'm sure my daughters would take over if necessary.

Flick216

torbrex wrote: »

I feel exactly the same sometimes and I have been waiting for a little while longer.

I have trouble recognising when someone is flirting with me, I just don't get the signs

I have been told a number of times that I 'missed my chance' with someone simply because I didn't know she was actually dropping hints that she wanted to get closer.

My excuse is that I am only a man, the only hints that I recognise are the ones tied round a brick and lobbed at my head. :T

Exactly this! And it's not a man thing Derek - trust me! I really would have to have it spelt out for me - and even then, I'd think they were saying as a joke or a dare.

January20

Maureen43 wrote: »

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I miss all the obvious things, but what hurts the most is that nobody completely has my back. Nobody is there to catch me if I fall. Nobody to discuss my major life decisions with.

For me, sometimes, it's the thought that I'm not special to anybody. It would be lovely to mean the world to somebody... but then I pull myself together and read a few relationship posts on here and realise, my lot could be much, much worse!

I don't get the signs either and, according to one of my friends, I probably send out the wrong vibes (ie keep away from me I suppose lol).

SanguineSteve

I'm in my early 30's, it's been about 7 years since the last serious relationship and am in no hurry to change it.

I walked away from the previous one because I was fed up of having no free time to indulge in/develop my hobbies. (We were a few hours away from each other, so always a guest at one-another's shared houses)

I have no desire for children, so don't feel any great need to 'get out there' and I really value my alone time as I find socializing pretty exhausting (although i'm pretty good at it....)

I won't lie, there are moments when I think it would be nice to have someone in my life, but they are usually fleeting. I try to at least go out on a date every few months to keep my eye in, but it seldom goes anywhere. My hearts' just not in it! It's alot of bother.

I admit, i do get very perturbed by horror-shows of relationships i see some of my friends in (and read about on here, to be fair). Becoming husks of the men i used to know, seemingly regarding their partner as their registered keeper rather than a companion...

I do have a few that are genuinely brilliant couples though. So I do get some balance.

I find that coupled-up people are far more comfortable offering you their pity (for being single) than to hear you tell them why you are blissful in the way things are.

Relationships aren't for everyone....

girlsmum

I have been on my own for 4 years this July, and still not sure i want another relationship. I spent the last 2 years of my marriage being paranoid (rightfully so i must add) I am not looking and so it seems no one is looking for me as there has been zilch interest...oh hang on except for being propositioned by men who are in relationship...makes me less keen on finding and trusting ever again.

I am very independent I don't like asking for help and will have a go at whatever i can, from car maintenance, decorating, even can do some basic electric work, i have changed broken light switches, and replaced the extractor fan in my bathroom, resealed my bath, and i am a wiz with flat pack.

I have put up a wall to stop be relying on anyone again i think i put men off, they are surplus to requirements.

that being said if the right man comes along never say never

trolleyrun

You know when people say "it'll happen when you least expect it"? It's actually true. It's what happened to me, and I wasn't looking or expecting anything. It did take some "interference" from mutual friends, but it worked out in the end.

I'll never be one for pitying single people as I enjoyed my time on my own. Everyone is different and have different reasons for how they conduct their lives. As long as you make YOU happy first, everything will be ok. Promise

Lady_Bee

I've been single forever, I can't say it really bothers me as I've never known any different. I'm late 30's but don't want to have children so I don't see it as a problem. I've got my own place and enjoy living there on my own. I work full time and my parents live close by so I do see people.

I'd agree with others though about being lonely when older. My sister is also single and we're banking on spending our retirement years together going on nice holidays etc but if anything happened to her I don't know what I'd do once my parents have gone. I've started to worry about this a lot recently, not sure why.

I always think of Miranda from Sex and the City when single things come up when she said that she was worried she would die alone and the cat would eat her face, this is a bit of a running joke between me and my sister, I don't have a cat though

Really interesting to hear other thoughts on this, I must admit I look at some of my friend's relationships and think 'no thanks'.

SingleSue

I was single for almost 7 years after my marriage broke up when I was mid thirties. I missed the cuddles and someone being there for me for a fair while (understandable when I had been with my husband for almost 20 years) and had pretty much given up on anyone wanting to be with me again until a chance meeting at a sporting event.

We had been friends years ago, when we were both young teenagers and we decided to give it a try...nothing major, just going out once a week for a meal during the day and maybe a drive but it made me feel special again. It was more companionship than a full on love affair, a chance to have and do adult things rather than child related things but not once in our 2 and a bit year relationship could be come into the house (autistic children and safe haven reasons) and I think that and my messed up head put paid to the relationship and prevented it from going further....mind you, he never invited me to his either (he lived with his parents, he returned there after a long term relationship break up)

Although we didn't see each other loads and loads, we had a lot of fun and a very enjoyable time plus he made me feel so attractive and sexy, always a positive when a bloke does that.

I'm now back to getting depressed about the valentines things being displayed, feeling a sense of loss at not having anyone special to think of and I miss our once a week meals out.

That said, I really don't think I could handle living with someone on a full time basis again, I rather like having control of the remote control and deciding when my own bedtime is :rotfl:

Chlorine7

I am fine (not happy not sad) being single, I do miss having someone to share things with, go out at a moments notice and doing more things on the weekend. I don't miss having to deal with his constant family and job issues.

I'm slowly getting the 'go talk to him he's single too' (that got a very quick I don't need prompting to talk someone if I want to) and people assuming that the single people in the room should get together as they must be attracted to each other.

Most of my friends know that I won't appreciate nor tolerate stupid comments and suggestions like these.

I'm starting to resign myself to I will probably be single for the rest of my life as I do not find many people attractive. At least not without a lot of alcohol. I am a bit envious of my friends who find someone they fancy in every room.

Lady_Bee

Chlorine7 wrote: »

I am a bit envious of my friends who find someone they fancy in every room.

I like to think of it as having standards although some might see it as fussiness!