Heartbroken, my husband left me this morning for another woman

girlsmum

catkins wrote: »

Not a matter of an "ideal world". If someone has ANY morals whatsoever and even an ounce of respect for their other half they DO NOT be unfaithful to them.


For your information I do not speak as a bitter person. No one, to my knowledge, has been unfaithful to me and I would never ever be unfaithful to my husband as I know he wouldn't to me.


There is never ever any excuse for being unfaithful. The comments people come out with such as "I never meant for it to happen" are just pathetic. You make a conscious decision to take your clothes off and have sex with someone else

I did not think you were a bitter person, but sadly where unfaithfulness comes into play there is no such thing as morals. I never dreamed that i would be a single parent, my ex and i were happy, or so i thought and like you i never dreamed he would be unfaithful, until he met someone else who he preferred that is.

The sad thing is the unfaithful party does not see themselves as doing wrong, they try to make the other person responsible, they all have standard quotes, believe me i am in an online group with a bunch of ladies and a man who have all been through it and our stories are all almost identical.

I thought like you until it happened to me

girlsmum

paigesaunt wrote: »

On the contrary tight Scotsman, I have not put on weight recently, and consider myself still very attractive for my age of 52, however husband isn't any great catch, so wrong on that one.
Bigger worries today at Dr's, I may have bladder cancer, will be in hospital within the next two weeks if that's the case, will hopefully no more tomorrow when Dr rings with result of test today.
All going the husbands way now!
Very emotional day

on no, i hope you are ok:(

RuthnJasper

paigesaunt wrote: »

Thank you everyone, it's good to get things out.

I spent yesterday arranging the household finances, got everything sorted and it's suprisingly quite low and manageable.

I live with our son (it's older son from prev marriage husband hates, lives elsewhere) and our sons girlfriend. Our son is an apprentice on a low income but is happy to do as much as possible.
I made a claim for ESA, child tax credits for sons girlfriend as she's still in full time education, I already receive child benefit for her, not sure if I'm entitled to it tax credits for her yet.
I'm going to Dr's today to get medical certificate to give me a breather.
I had a part time job lined up to start in March, but have made enquiries about full time work in the same place and seems promising.
Husband was named on one of my bank accounts which we set up to pay household bills, but I will be getting him removed today, other than that we have never had any financial link. I have never been privy to his many many bank accounts.

Sounds like you are doing the right things Paigesaunt - and you have a real treasure for a son!

Sending you all the best for the immediate future and wishing you many happier years to come. It will get better - even if it might not seem like it just now. xx

Edit - so sorry to hear about the possible illness; hope you'll be OK. Let us know how you get on (if you want to). x

TBagpuss

First: It is not 'all your fault' - no doubt there are things you could have done differently, equally there are things he could have done differently. Do't put yourself down.

Regarding his posessions, I would suggest, if you can, packing them up and getting a friend, or your son, to deliver them to where your ex is now living, rather than have him coming and going.

If that is not practical, then rather than asking him, tell him when it would be convenient for him to come - ideally give him 2 or 3 options and ask him to pick one.

Do the same with his personal belongings so that you can start to feel that it is your home, not you+him.

marisco_2

Marisco wrote: »

Isn't it about time you moved on?

Everyone is entitled to express an opinion without having it suggested that they move on or being questioned on the health of their state of mind.

Marisco

marisco wrote: »

Everyone is entitled to express an opinion without having it suggested that they move on or being questioned on the health of their state of mind.

Calling people scum is not expressing an opinion, it's insulting people. I remember months and months ago he did the same on another thread as well, it's not very constructive. And keeping bitterness alive is not conducive to a happy life. See, you can express an opinion without insulting someone!

Morglin

Am I getting confused here? :think:

There appear to be two Mariscos arguing with each other....posts 66 and 67...

They do apparantly live in different places though lol

Lin

VestanPance

Marisco wrote: »

Calling people scum is not expressing an opinion, it's insulting people. I remember months and months ago he did the same on another thread as well, it's not very constructive. And keeping bitterness alive is not conducive to a happy life. See, you can express an opinion without insulting someone!

No it's calling it what it is. If people act like scum I'll call them on it.

VestanPance

Morglin wrote: »

Am I getting confused here? :think:

There appear to be two Mariscos arguing with each other....posts 66 and 67...

They do apparantly live in different places though lol

Lin

Upper case and lower case 'M'.

I can only assume this site allows matching user names if the capitalisation of the letters differs.

Morglin

Bit stupid of the site then.

Lin :whistle: