Heartbroken, my husband left me this morning for another woman

misspickle_2

Amber_Sunshine wrote: »

My ex didn't walk out on me for his GF. He didn't have the b***s. Instead, he made life so unbearable for me that my only option was to leave. And I am so glad I did. 10 years later and I have gone from strength to strength. I live abroad, in a fabulous city, have learnt the language, learnt self-sufficiency, have an amazing group of friends, enjoy blue skies every day (well, almost), and am enjoying life immensely.

He, on the other hand, is mouldering in a boring corner of the UK and !!!!!ing about life as a stepdad. Are they happy? I don't know. Do they think it was worth it? I don't care. I do allow myself an immense joy in feeling smug at how much better off I am without him :rotfl:

I hate you. I'm very jealous. Lucky minx.
I want warm sun on my face! :cool:

Don't call my country or any part of it boring though.
You smug cow

paigesaunt

Update
pulled in the driveway after dropping my son at work this morning, just as husband pulled up to get some tools he needed, and to ask if he had any post, there was a payment from a customer, so guessing that's why he came in.
He asked if I was okay, asked about hospital stuff, said I'd lost a lot of weight. I asked if he wanted to come in, then he noticed the locks had been changed, he started to get nasty about my brother having done it, so I lied and said one of his ex employees had done it instead.

He's not saying anything different from 2 weeks ago, except he feels like a different person and at 52 he's panicking that life is passing him by, and wants different things now, but misses his family and home. I don't really understand it to be honest, not sure what he thinks is out there for him, that he can't have with a family.
He insists he will do everything that needs doing in the house. We had a cuddle but it wasn't normal, he's put up a massive barrier, we agreed to meet up at some point, and I will give him a bit more time, because I do love him and appreciate he's not solely to blame, but I'm still carrying on with my life in the meantime.
Not sure if bridges can be built with him and our son, and my family, if they can't, then it's a no go from my point of view, regardless of what he decides, they have all be fantastic whilst he's been off having a mid life crisis, and I will never be without them at any cost.
I'd be interested in your thoughts

fairy_lights

paigesaunt wrote: »

He's not saying anything different from 2 weeks ago, except he feels like a different person and at 52 he's panicking that life is passing him by, and wants different things now, but misses his family and home. I don't really understand it to be honest, not sure what he thinks is out there for him, that he can't have with a family.
He insists he will do everything that needs doing in the house. We had a cuddle but it wasn't normal, he's put up a massive barrier, we agreed to meet up at some point, and I will give him a bit more time, because I do love him and appreciate he's not solely to blame, but I'm still carrying on with my life in the meantime.

But what about his new girlfriend? I wonder what she would think about him coming round and telling you he misses you and having a cuddle.
It sounds a bit like he's trying to have his cake and eat it, he's run off with a shiny new girlfriend but wants to keep his options open with you in case he changes his mind...

paigesaunt

To be fair he didn't indicate he wanted to come home, and it was me that went to him for a cuddle so can't really blame him, would have been very cruel to have pushed me away, I'm sure he was just trying not to hurt me anymore.
He says he's blanking us for his own sake and finds it hard to come here. I'm guessing he has to stay away because he doesn't want me, so doesn't want to risk coming back for the wrong reasons, ie he misses his home.
With that realisation, I must toughen up.
X

Ziggazee

'Yes, scum. Move on and then find someone. No excuses.'


I think you'll find this was my original quote. No bitterness eating me up over here........just morals.

tesuhoha

paigesaunt wrote: »

Update
pulled in the driveway after dropping my son at work this morning, just as husband pulled up to get some tools he needed, and to ask if he had any post, there was a payment from a customer, so guessing that's why he came in.
He asked if I was okay, asked about hospital stuff, said I'd lost a lot of weight. I asked if he wanted to come in, then he noticed the locks had been changed, he started to get nasty about my brother having done it, so I lied and said one of his ex employees had done it instead.

He's not saying anything different from 2 weeks ago, except he feels like a different person and at 52 he's panicking that life is passing him by, and wants different things now, but misses his family and home. I don't really understand it to be honest, not sure what he thinks is out there for him, that he can't have with a family.
He insists he will do everything that needs doing in the house. We had a cuddle but it wasn't normal, he's put up a massive barrier, we agreed to meet up at some point, and I will give him a bit more time, because I do love him and appreciate he's not solely to blame, but I'm still carrying on with my life in the meantime.
Not sure if bridges can be built with him and our son, and my family, if they can't, then it's a no go from my point of view, regardless of what he decides, they have all be fantastic whilst he's been off having a mid life crisis, and I will never be without them at any cost.
I'd be interested in your thoughts

My thoughts are, nothing will ever change while you continue to be the forgiving wife ready to welcome him back with open arms should the thought enter his head. It should be him who is trying to win you back and anything less than that will result in him taking you for granted once again.

If he does try to come back don't be the welcome doormat.

duchy

Why would you want to cuddle a man who had being having sex with another woman ?

Listen
He will see you as you see yourself. If you act like a doormat -he will treat you like one. If however you believe you are worthy of respect and decency and refuse to accept less. He will see you that way too.

Only you can decide what he sees.

System

duchy wrote: »

Why would you want to cuddle a man who had being having sex with another woman ?

Well I presume he's been her source of comfort so long... Whether or not it was wise is a different matter.

jaylee3

Oh paige's aunt. After all he has put you through, you are NOT going to have him back are you?

Please don't be one of these 'oh but he is all right really, and he loves me deep down, and he is starting to show me affection, so I will give him another chance' kind of women.

lindsaygalaxy

Not much to add but theres a part of me that wants to scream and shout at you! Mainly because I have been you, though not for so long.
STOP texting him. STOP calling him. STOP talking to him. SEPERATE yourself from him and file for divorce. Give yourse.f a chance and move it. It will be worth it.