Gay relationship advice

swingaloo

In your opening post, and in every one since you have listed many of his faults (a few more coming out in each post) but at no time have you said what is 'nice' about him.


So when you travel to see him do you look forward to getting there, are you exited to see him? or is there a dread because you don't know what mood he is going to be in or how he is going to treat you?


When you leave him do you look forward to the next time or do you drive home going over the horrible things he has said or done?


Say goodbye and get yourself back on the market. a few months waiting for another relationship to come along is far better than a lifetime with someone who treats you so badly that you need to post about it on a forum.

System

......just a thought. No boyfriend is better than a bad boyfriend. Best to end it now before its too difficult.

Ilona

Can't be bothered to write a long reply......just dump him.
Ilona

DUTR

Judi wrote: »

......just a thought. No boyfriend is better than a bad boyfriend. Best to end it now before its too difficult.

It's true , as it can be the same the other way around to (ie gender neutral) .
I got the vibe from the opening post that the OP's partner is not really interested in the OP but the OP is failing to accept that.

BigAunty

DUTR wrote: »

I got the vibe from the opening post that the OP's partner is not really interested in the OP but the OP is failing to accept that.

I get the vibe that the OPs partner probably wouldn't be into anyone - they just seem to be quite cruel, callous, self-absorbed.

Relationships involve a lot of giving - the OP is desperate to give and gets little in return which is a recipe for being taken advantage of.

He sounds like he lacks affection, humour and compassion.

Granted that he appears to suffer from a non-chronic mental illness that may make him moody but even so, he sounds quite spiteful.

Is it possible he enjoys playing games with people's heads or does he perhaps envy the OP for his good health, income, close family ties?

Mojisola

awolo1 wrote: »

I feel like I am often walking on egg shells.

Even if you hadn't said the other things about him, this sentence alone would be enough to question whether you should stay with him.

Add in the other details you've given and there's only one way to go - get out of this toxic relationship before your self-esteem is completely whittled away.

DUTR

BigAunty wrote: »

I get the vibe that the OPs partner probably wouldn't be into anyone - they just seem to be quite cruel, callous, self-absorbed.

Relationships involve a lot of giving - the OP is desperate to give and gets little in return which is a recipe for being taken advantage of.

He sounds like he lacks affection, humour and compassion.

Granted that he appears to suffer from a non-chronic mental illness that may make him moody but even so, he sounds quite spiteful.

Is it possible he enjoys playing games with people's heads or does he perhaps envy the OP for his good health, income, close family ties?

I can see why you get that vibe, most of my dating nowadays comes about from POF, however I do wonder how the OP and his partner got together in the 1st place, if they are 70 miles apart?
Doing this trip several times a week, when does the OP get time to go to work?

awolo1

DUTR wrote: »

I can see why you get that vibe, most of my dating nowadays comes about from POF, however I do wonder how the OP and his partner got together in the 1st place, if they are 70 miles apart?
Doing this trip several times a week, when does the OP get time to go to work?

70 miles is about a 1.5 hour drive, the distance hasn't been an issue per se.

What has been the issue is that because of recent heated discussions/arguments with him accusing me of not being open and honest (which is completely not the case) it has made me realise that he takes me for grantid of turning up at his door step.


In my opinion, if I drive 70 miles to see him, he should be happy to see me and should make every effort within his power to show me that he respects me for doing that and he doesn't.

so I have told him today that i will not be able to do all the driving now, to which he has spat out his dummy and he has been 'off' with me all day, this morning he tried to make me feel guilty about it because he said I had changed from wanting to do the driving to not.

He called me and I expressed the fuel costs and time and effort and he said that he had bills to pay like tax, new wheels and car insurance - I said I have debts to pay AND petrol?!? Only then did he offer something towards the petrol for the first time ever.

Fact is, I give 120% effort and didn't complain about the driving until I realised what kind of person he was, now I have started to become firmer if you like and he doesn't like it.

Oh, and If I am late by 15 minutes, he will flip and accuse me of being a liar for being late. We have had arguments (initiated by him) because I have been late. He doesn't understand that the m6 has traffic, particularly towards stafford with the average speed limit of 50mp/h

Mojisola

awolo1 wrote: »

What has been the issue is that because of recent heated discussions/arguments with him accusing me of not being open and honest (which is completely not the case) it has made me realise that he takes me for grantid of turning up at his door step.

In my opinion, if I drive 70 miles to see him, he should be happy to see me and should make every effort within his power to show me that he respects me for doing that and he doesn't.

so I have told him today that i will not be able to do all the driving now, to which he has spat out his dummy and he has been 'off' with me all day, this morning he tried to make me feel guilty about it because he said I had changed from wanting to do the driving to not.

He called me and I expressed the fuel costs and time and effort and he said that he had bills to pay like tax, new wheels and car insurance - I said I have debts to pay AND petrol?!? Only then did he offer something towards the petrol for the first time ever.

Oh, and If I am late by 15 minutes, he will flip and accuse me of being a liar for being late. We have had arguments (initiated by him) because I have been late. He doesn't understand that the m6 has traffic, particularly towards stafford with the average speed limit of 50mp/h

Why would you go round the corner to meet up with this man- let alone drive 70 miles to see him?:(

TBeckett100

Seems odd.

I'm not gay but at the beginning of a relationship I'm sure you'd drive 100 miles to spend time with the other person.

Sounds like this person is a bit of a control freak. My wife couldn't answer questions about APRs, limits etc. that stuff bores her. I also don't know how much she has and she doesn't know anything about my finances. That way we have no arguments.

I think someone who can't be bothered to bed in with your folks clearly shouldn't be demanding the precise nature of your finances.

Be careful there.