We all need to be heard for a little while.

elsien

You could have your own duvet fort annexe while you decide whether to join us?

New year and valentines I'm really not bothered about. Birthdays I'm getting happy to avoid. There are times though when even if I know I'd be having a rubbish time if I were out i still feel like I'm missing out by not going.

Tea, try to get a good night's sleep, it may seem a bit clearer in the morning.

tea_lover

LSF, if it's any consolation (prob not lol), I've felt more isolated and lonely in this relationship than I ever did when I've been single.

LostSoulForever

tea_lover wrote: »

LSF, if it's any consolation (prob not lol), I've felt more isolated and lonely in this relationship than I ever did when I've been single.

It's not but thanks

I'm not sure what's worse - being in a relationship & feeling lonely & isolated or being alone.


I would like to point out - my last point wasn't just about feeling lonely & isolated because i'm single. Obviously that's a factor but the fact there is no-one in my life - family, friemds etc.
It's just me, myself & i

It hits home those 4 times as they would be times spent with other people or for other people to show they care & i have none of that. I spend all of them on my own - i can't remember the last time i received a BD or Xmas card :eek:.

Solarjunkie

LSF - that is rough. One way to receive cards etc is to send them, eg get a penpal! May sound corny & old fashioned, but you could make a small connection to someone out there. Google would probably give you more chances than a message in a bottle, but who knows, that might work too!

elsien

That is sad, LSF, to feel so isolated.
I want to say something helpful, but have no idea what. So forgive me if I end up saying goes something crass.

System

Sorry to hear you're down LSF, im feeling pretty alone right now too, but thats my own doing,

- - - - -

I saw a friend i havent seen for a few years tonight, it was good to see her and reconnect

System

Slghtly drunk and threw up everwhere

Messaged friend who isn't taking to me and still dont know what ive done wrong

Too drunk to care

Pyxis

tea_lover wrote: »

LSF, if it's any consolation (prob not lol), I've felt more isolated and lonely in this relationship than I ever did when I've been single.

LostSoulForever wrote: »

I'm not sure what's worse - being in a relationship & feeling lonely & isolated or being alone.
I would like to point out - my last point wasn't just about feeling lonely & isolated because i'm single. Obviously that's a factor but the fact there is no-one in my life - family, friemds etc.
It's just me, myself & i
It hits home those 4 times as they would be times spent with other people or for other people to show they care..

Lostsoulforever, You are my mirror. I feel exactly like this. Over the years, despite efforts on my part, people dwindled away, family turned rabid, and I found I was sending cards to people at Christmas and Birthdays who never responded. The worst thing was the rabid family, though.

About five years ago, I decided to give up on Christmas and Birthdays, despite having loved them in the past. It was too painful NOT getting the acknowledgements from some people. It was better to have nothing. Then, I thought, I can pretend it's not my birthday and there won't be these glaring reminders that nobody really cares. One friend still insists on sending a card when I just don't want to be reminded of the birthday I'd like to have but don't. That sounds strange, doesn't it? But getting one card is worse than none.

So I ignore birthdays, and refuse to tell people when mine is.

At Christmas I go away, preferably abroad, where there is far less hype than here. This is sad, because I always used to adore Christmas and pulled out all the stops. But a series of disastrous Christmases told me that they had to go, too, for the sake of my sanity.

New Year I don't really mind any more, because I never really did much for it anyway, and usually can't stay awake.
Valentines does hurt, a bit less so now than in previous years, because I've been on my own for such a very long time. But it does reinforce the fact that 'nobody loves me', which in turn sets off the 'so it must be because I'm unloveable' feelings!

Believe me, LostSoul, trying to 'celebrate' something around arguing, confrontational people is infinitely worse than being on your own.

Similarly, being in a relationship that isn't loving, where you're constantly put down and fault found with everything, IS far, far worse than being alone. Being alone isn't much fun some of the time, particularly when you're ill, or when there's an awful lot to do, and it would be nice to share experiences with someone. Not necessarily a partner - it could be a close relative, or a close friend, - but those sorts of relationships are rare, in my opinion.

One thing that the Single thread highlighted is that there are an awful lot of people in the same situation as you and I, so it was useful to go on it for that reason alone. It's so easy to assume that everyone else has fantastic relationships with friends and family, and some people are very lucky and do. But for an awful lot of people, the truth is that they don't, or else the relationships are superficial ones that just appear to be close, until really tested.

I bet your feet are cold; why not sit next to the duvet fort and pop your toes under? (They might get licked by a warm tongue! But it'll be warm!)


(:eek: ..........a doggy one, I mean! :eek:)

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

Messaged friend who isn't taking to me and still dont know what ive done wrong

MessedUp, I really would recommend phoning her/him. Messages, emails, texts just don't cut it when there's upset around, and they can seem superficial. Even if she/he doesn't answer, I bet they'll appreciate the call more than the message, as calls are more real, and show her/him that you're making an effort. :A

Pyxis

Sorry about the spelling! Can't change it on these pics!








Codemonkey, I'm really baffled by how a series of letters, numbers and punctuation-type symbols can end up as a photo of a horse etc., with a slogan!
I know you can't explain it in one simple sentence but,.......... oh go on, try! Put me out of my misery! :j

lostinrates

Lost and Pyxis,

Have you ever volunteered a Christmas anywhere?

I did a volunteer Christmas once when I was quite young and it was one of the best Christmases I have ever had.


Family is. An ongoing issue for me.