We all need to be heard for a little while.

System

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Oh dear, the I am not worth anything attitude isn't going to help either beau or you, MU. I speak from experience, I used to come out with things like that. I don't like myself very much at all but I have slowly figured out that the fact that people still want to know me must mean I have something going for me so I shut up and enjoy it. It is also extremely tiring to be around someone who constantly puts themselves down, you feel a need to constantly reassure them and can end up walking on egg shells for fear of hurting them and putting your own needs, which are just as important on the backburner.

Melly, big hugs. I am so sorry you seem to be under even more pressure. I am glad that you told the nurse about MIL's care, as you say no matter what someone's personality is like no one should be left like that.

I've done the same myself. The problem comes in getting someone to understand that the bad thoughts you have of yourself are generally untrue and its just your brain playing up when you think like that. Of course i remember how impossible i was to reason with in that state. For now i've explained that i've felt like he has and been where he is and if he doesnt want to (or rather doesnt feel he can) talk right now, i understand but i'm here if he needs me. Nothing more i can do. I can;t force him to think differently. And its not just something you can snap out of.
I'm currently occupying myself talking to friends.

mellymoo74

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Oh dear, the I am not worth anything attitude isn't going to help either beau or you, MU. I speak from experience, I used to come out with things like that. I don't like myself very much at all but I have slowly figured out that the fact that people still want to know me must mean I have something going for me so I shut up and enjoy it. It is also extremely tiring to be around someone who constantly puts themselves down, you feel a need to constantly reassure them and can end up walking on egg shells for fear of hurting them and putting your own needs, which are just as important on the backburner.

Melly, big hugs. I am so sorry you seem to be under even more pressure. I am glad that you told the nurse about MIL's care, as you say no matter what someone's personality is like no one should be left like that.

I was very gentle for me not so much with SIL however

Waves_and_Smiles

You have done everything you can, MU. Now it is up to beau to work on himself. I remember from when I was similar that a lot of people told me that I was worthwhile but it took a mental shift before I would believe them. I had to work on changing my perspective and no one could do that for me. There is honestly nothing else you can do but make sure that you are feeling as best as you can, that is hard enough considering you care about him so much and of course it is horrid to hear someone special to you disliking themselves so much. Take a bit of time for you, chat to friends give yourself a bit of time to think things through. Hopefully beau is also thinking about how he can help himself.

You know melly, I have always thought that no matter what I have gone through and am going through it gives me no right to drag another person down with me. Yes, we all snap at times when we are scared and worried but there is no excuse for it becoming a regular thing. SIL has a lot on her plate but it doesn't give her an excuse to be harsh and spiteful to other people and you should not have to put up with that.

tea_lover

Oh no!! My daylight alarm clock thing is broken Gonna be a dark horrible morning tomorrow.

Waves_and_Smiles

Aw, not good tea! At least it didn't happen for a Monday?

LostSoulForever

tea_lover wrote: »

Oh no!! My daylight alarm clock thing is broken Gonna be a dark horrible morning tomorrow.

Aren't they always?

I gotta ask what a daylight alarm clock is? can't say i've heard of them.

LostSoulForever

I'm so bored/fed up :undecided

System

LostSoulForever wrote: »

I'm so bored/fed up :undecided

Is there anything you can do to entertain yourself? Not that i can talk as my main way of entertaining myself is losing hours to browsing MSE :rotfl:

tea_lover

It's amazing LSF, the light comes on gradually before the alarm goes off. Stops that horrible moment where you're jolted awake and it's still pitch black.

This one was great. Had 8 different light colours, radio, 9 different alarm sounds. Could set the light to come on from 5 to 30 mins before alarm. 18 levels of light intensity. Could use as a timed night light....not bad for £24 from aldi lol. Suppose I should be grateful I got a couple of years use from it.

LostSoulForever

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

Is there anything you can do to entertain yourself? Not that i can talk as my main way of entertaining myself is losing hours to browsing MSE :rotfl:

Thanks - I'm doing the browsing MSE - lol - but not much is peaking my interest. Just having one of those days i think (again ).